Mad Mad World

Tonight I was looking at the underground menu for Jamba juice and I realised that some of their "underground" options used to be, at least when I was in HS and early college, part of the everyday options, flavors such as cherry charger, and orange-a-peel (there were a few others). I started to feel really old- and then I remembered that the last two times I've been to jamba my smoothies have not been as tasty as I remember them being. Every week I used to treat myself to and Aloha Pineapple- well, I got it a few weeks ago and I swear there is just a ton of ice in it now- it was not nearly as rich and creamy as I remember. Then I realized that at some point after I started college the world must have gone mad- Because all of a sudden those yummy smoothies are not healthy enough to sell. Which means they are too healthy for me to buy. If I want something healthy I will make it at home and save my money- I am paying for something delicious- Therefore I am going to stick to the underground menu and leave the world to its madness.

Find what's missing

so...how do you find something that can't be found? I haven't any idea. All my life I have had a love for family and I've known all my life that my family history is something I need to do. To be honest though I was pretty content just studying what had already been found. Kudos to someone along the line because my dad's family history is pretty far back- I think to the early 1600s. And one side of my mom's is done pretty far back as well. HOWEVER- My dear grandfather on my mom's side was the first person in his family to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints so no temple work has been done. To make things even harder- the record only goes back about 3 generations (2 if we are counting only accurate documentation). Unfortunately my grandpa's family is from Dyers burg Tennessee and once upon a time the courthouse containing all the birth, death, and marriage records burned to the ground. So although many have looked for answers several generations have been unable to move beyond my great great grandfather.
Deep down I know that I need to find this line. I have put it off for years because I was in school or the relief society president, or some other worthy time consuming thing- But I can't put it off forever and I feel like now is the time to start working on it...but the problem is I don't even know where to begin. All the websites with records cost money, which wouldn't be a big deal if I knew they were going to help me. I am not complaining- I didn't really expect it to be easy. After all, if it had been easy my grandmother or my sister would have found all the answers by now. That doesn't keep me from getting frustrated though- I just hope that if I'm willing I get a little inspiration to help me find what so far cannot be found- A name.

No more crutches

I am pretty busy and don't have a lot of time to watch television- so when I do get some down time I generally go through the shows I've recorded before choosing anything on live TV. Tonight was one of those rare free nights and I basically had myself a what not to wear marathon. As I was watching episode after episode I noticed a common thread. Over and over the girls on the show kept saying things like, "well when I was in high school people said this", "when I was younger I got in trouble for this" "people will judge me and think I look ridiculous" "I don't want people to think", etc....It occurred to me that so many people hinder their progress and success for the future based on what someone said or did to them in the past. Does that make any sense? To ruin your future because some 14 yr old said something mean to you back before you were even out of puberty. Its not a great time for anyone and its a crutch.
Maybe its not some ghost from the past- maybe you just don't feel good about where you are right now- again I say get over it. Don't blame someone else- do what you have to do to feel better and give up the crutch. Be grateful you have a body and all your parts work. If you spend so much time focusing on what you are not you and the people in your life will never be allowed to realize what you ARE!! And that is So much more important! seriously- stop worrying about what everyone else thinks- its what you think of yourself that matters. Accept who you are, love yourself as you are, and share your gifts with the world!! "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify the father which is in heaven" Your light can't shine if you cover it with self loathing and doubt- you cannot serve others well if you are only focused on yourself and what you are lacking. Throw your crutches away, stop blaming the world or your past, accept the now and work toward your future.

Past awesome-ness

I have decided I was born at the wrong time. I believe I should have been born late 20s or early 30s. I love vintage clothes, I love swing dancing, and I love big band music, the cars were amazing and people were just more classy- also I love Kay Starr, Louis Armstrong, Etta James...etc. I am not sad I missed out on world war II but everything else is so great about that era I am sad I missed it. If I could go back and visit another time- the 40s would have been my decade. Don't get me wrong, I love all my modern conveniences but there is something to be said for simplicity. The 40s were full of awesome-ness that just isn't around anymore. I guess I will have to be happy with vintage clothing and my itunes playlist.

Obsessed with dreams

I love dreams. I get really excited when I actually sleep well enough to have a dream and even more excited if I still remember it when I wake up. I always try to figure out what my dreams mean- because your subconscious is an incredible thing! I get online and I pull up a dream dictionary and start analyzing. Most of the time I'm surprised how right on the dream analysis is. I love it!
Well the last few nights my dreams have been very vivid. I see faces on everyone and usually they are just a blur. Last night I had another vivid dream- I brushed it off when I got up and decided I would check out the interpretation when I got home from church. And that's just what I did, although in this case my dream dictionary didn't make any sense with what I remembered from my dream. I told my mom about it and she actually came up with an explanation that struck a cord of truth.
After talking to my mom I realized that I should have written this dream down as soon as I woke up because now there are details I can't remember. For instance- I know there were several sentences written in my dream but I can't remember what they said, I just remember reading something. Also there was a person in my dream that although I get his overall significance I can't remember what he was doing or if he said anything in the dream- and it frustrates me because I feel like it might have been important.
its not uncommon for people in my family to have significant dreams from time to time, and I've always been secretly jealous that I never got to have one- but now I see why. when I do have them I don't write them down. But even with my imperfect memory I know what it meant I just am still a little unsure what to do with the information- But I am definitely going to move forward and hope that some how somewhere a sealed door will open. If it is possible I will venture to say that I am even more obsessed with dreams than I was before.

The power of one...

"we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places as we strive to live the young women values which are: faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity and virtue. We believe as we come to accept and act upon these principles we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."

Every Sunday Young women all over the world recite these words. Once upon a time I was included in that- but it has been nearly a decade since I have given it much thought. Until last week, I was sitting in my Sunday school class, which also happens to be the YW room for another ward, and it drew my attention. Especially "we will stand as witnesses of God at All times and in All things and in All places" and I began to think- Do I really do that?

I came to the conclusion that No- I don't. I know that I should but it is not as easy as it sounds and actually I was much better at it when I was in High school. In high school I was not necessarily the most confident person but I was confident in what I knew to be right- and all of my friends respected it. Not one of my friends even cussed around me or invited me to a sketchy party- they always said, "sorry this isn't your kind of party". No one questioned where I stood or what I stood for.

Today however I cannot honestly say I am as firm in ALL things. I wouldn't say I act against what I know to be true- but I don't always speak up and be a witness for truth. In some ways I have become less confident- and honestly I hate that. I was reminded this morning that our influence on others, whether for good or for ill, is felt and can last a very very long time-in my case over a decade. And I decided that even though I live in the center of many of my same faith we are all at different levels of that faith and I still need to stand firm as a witness of Christ no matter where I am or who I am with. I would be crushed to know that my behavior or lack of conviction silently gave someone else permission to behave as they shouldn't. I would like to always think that my behavior influenced another for good, that it inspired them to reach higher and accomplish more.

Sometimes I feel that I am only one person, I can't really make that big of a difference, and that no one really pays much attention to what I do or do not do. But the fact is- one person can make a world of difference. I know this is an extreme example but Hitler was also one person- one person who influenced a nation. Everyone knows the effects of his choices - I often wonder what the world would have been like if he had harnessed that influence in another direction. Someone with his talent for speaking and persuasion could have done so much good and yet his gifts created a nightmare for so many. If one person can create so much pain-could not one person create just as much joy. I submit that it can be done. Yet so often we doubt our own strength to create change, we diminish our influence and power for good. If we stand as a witness for God in all times, and in all things, and in all places we cannot help but inspire and uplift- We each can leave our mark on the world and I hope to make mine a positive one!

Grateful for age...

I just want to say how grateful I am that we all get older. with age comes wisdom- hopefully. I know I complain about being "old" sometimes, but I don't really mean it. I'm not old and I know it. Mostly I just say those things because my life has not followed the map I had drawn out. But I am actually very happy about that. I have learned so much and met people I never would have met had I taken my own very narrow minded path.
Tonight I had an interesting experience - well it was mostly in my own head. I found myself in the middle of a very shallow conversation with several girls under the age of 21...and just in the next room was an 85 yr old piano player who is incredible. So much life experience. Part of me, a large part of me would have rather been in that room talking to him- but I did learn a few things right where I was.
I was sitting peacefully by myself reading my lesson for gospel doctrine when I was joined by three girls. Now before I proceed let me just say that I do in fact like these girls. They are fun cute girls- however they lack maturity in some areas of their personality and that is so interesting for me to watch- from a distance of course.
These girls were talking to me and since I do love to pick people's brains I listened intently- people fascinate me- plus like I said, I like these girls. anyway- the boys came out to get drinks I think and the flirting began. (it was only 2 boys and 2 girls) It went on for only a few minutes and then the boys went back to their singing. Soon after, these two girls found multiple "reasons" to go into that room so they could draw the boys attention. As if everyone didn't know why they were really in there (so funny)...anyway they eventually just ended up sitting on the floor looking like high school freshman watching the varsity football team practice...and I said a silent prayer that I never look that desperate in my life. But I'm sure when I was there age I did at some point do something similar.
As they sat there I realized some things- That yes these boys are talented, good looking young men- but in spite of all that- I could never respect a man who was drawn in by such primitive tactics. And I realized, that's probably why I'm single still- I want a man who thinks with his brain- not his hormones. I want someone who doesn't just go for the easy target- perhaps I'll find one in the MBA program- I have high hopes that those men want a woman with brains and motivation. but I digress from my purpose....
Tonight I also learned that because of my age-or rather, experience (which I know is not nearly as vast as some) I have so much to be grateful for. I've learned that I am grateful for being the 5Th of 6 kids which taught me that I do not need to be- and probably usually will not be- the center of attention most of the time. I am grateful for my ability to be alone with my own thoughts and to be able to go to the bathroom by myself (which these and many girls cannot do). I am grateful that I can still think of others before myself (although I'm not always perfect- some days are better than others) I'm grateful that I have learned to make my own decisions- even if they are wrong sometimes. I am grateful that I have learned to deal with disappointment- life goes on and it usually goes on for the better. I am grateful for my siblings and my ability to get along with them all- I love my family. I am grateful for the ability to listen and really hear what people are saying and feeling. I am grateful for my education and love of learning. I am grateful for a sense of loyalty- and to be able to value others for who they are. I am grateful for a sense of humor-to enjoy life and not take the small things too seriously.
I am grateful to bob, the piano player, who is an inspiration to me. An inspiration of what can be accomplished in life if you recognize your gifts and blessings and use them for good. I hope that as I grow older I can grow wiser as well- I hope to always be an inspiration and a light to others, to share my experiences to benefit others. I know I'm not perfect, I have a lot to work on and places to mature but I'm also not dead yet- I have time, I just hope I always remember to use it to its fullest. Life is too short for regrets- so be happy and make others happy as well.

Do you not realize what day it is???

As many of you know, I am an avid watcher of wedding shows. TLC and WE are a great source for all your wedding pleasures. Tonight I was killing some time before my play rehearsal by watching "amazing wedding cakes". While watching, I rediscovered a huge pet peeve of mine. Several brides came on screen to look at their wedding cakes before their friends and family came in for the reception and I'm not kidding- they looked like they rolled out of bed and just threw on a wedding gown. I'm sorry- Do you not realize what day it is??? I don't care if you are not girly, don't wear a lot of make up, and don't own a blow dryer. It is your wedding day for heaven's sake- put some time and effort into your appearance. If your dress is elegant your hair and make up should be as well. If you can't do it yourself hire someone! If you are going to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a dress you can spend $50 to have your hair and make up done. YOU should wear the dress- it should not wear you.

Patience is a virtue

Ok my family is awesome. Especially my parents. For those of you who don't know, I LOVE to bake yummy delicious treats...and I do it a lot on Sunday. 1. because I am home 2. because I have time and 3. because there are people around to eat it. But most of the things I make are pretty involved and usually need to cool before I frost them or do the second step or whatever. However, my dad is not patient when it comes to delicious things. He is usually standing next to me when I take whatever it is out of the oven and immediately starts bugging me to cut into it. Usually my response is something like this, "Dad, its not finished. It still has to cool and be frosted" well- this was his response to waiting...if it had to cool before he could eat it- he was just going to help it along. I suppose patience is something we are still working on at our house...

Christmas Bells are Ringing...

Well, its almost that time of year again!! What better to get into the holiday spirit than going to see a show. There are two shows to see...this one at the Scera and A Christmas Carol at the Hale. Both are a really great way to get into the holiday spirit!!

Farewell Red Tweed

Tomorrow will be a test of my will power. This jacket you see is currently sitting on my bed post. I am really really in love with it!! but, I don't NEED it. I already own a red peacoat from last year...its not tweed but still really cute. And the other reason I don't need it is because in just a few more weeks it will be too cold to wear it anyway and it will sit in the closet with last years red coat and collect dust. no one will ever see it and next year the Gap will make another red coat that I'm sure I will want as well...and the cycle will continue unless I check it now. So tomorrow I am going to just suck it up and return it...even though at this moment I am still feeling sad about it. Farwell my Friend.

For Heaven's Sake- Cover your ankles!!

I just finished watching this movie with my mom (who is finally home from Cali) and it made me start to think about all the Jane Austin movies I've seen. Which naturally started me thinking about the screwed up logic of the time period in which these films are set. Exhibit A: Modesty. I would like someone to explain to me why in the world it was indecent to show one's ankles BUT the same woman could have half her chest hanging out of her dress and be considered in perfect taste. I'm sorry I just don't understand.

PS this is a very good version of S&S- I would actually like to merge this and the Emma Thompson version to create perfection.

What a waste

This is a BMW Z3 convertible. This car - well one very similar to it- was driving in front of me on State Street on my way to work this morning. Now, when I say it was driving I use that term loosely. He was barely driving. I am not sure what he was doing- but his mind wasn't on the road. Anyway- he was driving somewhere between 30 and 35 mph. ANNOYING! the Speed limit is 40 mph on state- which stirred a pet peeve of mine. If you spend the money to drive a Z3 DRIVE IT!! what good does it do to have a sports car if you are afraid of it! seriously-I'm not saying you need to drive 65 in a residential but please at least drive the speed limit. If you drive 35 mph in a sports car like that you don't deserve to own it. The End.

As it happens...

I realized tonight I get a lot of my blog topics from TLC. I don't watch very much TV but all my favorite wedding shows are on TLC so there you go. Anyway- There is a new show starting called downsizing. Another reality show about a family who has basically had everything they ever wanted. Only now they can't- their economic situation has changed and they have to learn to go without. Here is why this is blog worthy. I'm not sure if all of you are up on what reality TV stars get paid these days but I assure you this family is not sharing their story out of the goodness of their hearts. They are getting paid, and paid well. So the show is not actually a "reality" show- because as it happens after just a few episodes they will no longer have the need to downsize at all. go figure.

Thank You Walt

I finally watched Disney's The Princess and the Frog- LOVED it. I can't believe it took me so long to watch it. It not my very favorite princess movie but it was really cute and funny! I also realized that its one of the only movies I've purchased before actually seeing. I would only take that chance on Disney. If it has Walt's name on it I'm probably going to love it!

You know how sometimes in a "get to know you" situation people will ask you that dumb question- if you could meet one person from history alive or dead who would it be. well I finally realized I would LOVE to meet Walt Disney himself. The man was an inspired genius, and has brought pure joy to my life- so why wouldn't I want to meet him!

Hello? are you still out there??

I am going to get on my soap box. Today I volunteered to help collect the trash through the church building. Not a big deal it takes about 5 minutes. However, about a year ago the men in the ward were responsible for taking down the chairs in the building and gathering all the trash. They took turns assigning the job to different guys each week. WELL, some of the boys (and yes I use the word BOYS deliberately rather than the word MEN) got tired of it and passed half the building to the women, the side with all the dirty diapers. whatever- well recently the boys have now decided that the women should also take down chairs on that same side of the building. Um excuse me- have you ever tried to take down multiple chairs while wearing heals and a skirt- its not that easy. One or two chairs is fine but over and over it gets a bit awkward. PLUS hello?? what happened to all the gentlemen. But what is really sparking this post is the fact that at least five of the boys in my ward watched me walk a full trash bag out to the dumpster at the other end of the parking lot (one boy was about ten feet in front of me and didn't bother to take the bag from me). What the heck!! I'm sorry but perhaps this is the reason these boys are not married or even seriously dating anyone- because they are thoughtless selfish cry babies. I don't mind helping but I do mind the expectation. Be a gentleman- stop depending on your looks to get you dates and try a bit of chivalry- it will get you farther in the long run!

Please notify me before publishing

So I read a book yesterday. I am not sure how I feel about it. (Which is terrible because I bought it since our library here stinks. ) As typical of me, I started it and finished it a few hours later so I guess it couldn't have been too bad. However, I still didn't love it. which is sad, because it has the potential to be a really good book. But I hate when authors spend so much time describing scenery and clothing and not enough time on relationship development between the characters. Or in this case, they develop one or two characters full and then just kind of throw in a few more to make the plot work. Now in the books defense, I did like the plot, once I actually got to it (134 pgs in) and I did like the characters, I just think she needed to refocus some of her details. Also, the book was set in France. Which meant she kept throwing in a ton of French words and phrases- which is annoying because French is not a super common language that most people can pronounce let alone understand. I couldn't say half the names in the book and that was annoying to me. But my biggest problem with the book was that I'm still not sure when it takes place. She mentioned a war but I'm not sure if it was WWI or WWII- nice huh. And perhaps it was mentioned in her PAGES of detail at the beginning but I always skip over that when it gets to be longer than a paragraph. So basically my conclusion is that Perhaps all mystery romance novelists should have me edit their books before they go to publishing. I may have to give this one to my sister for a re-write.

Spongbob??

I have come to the conclusion that some people are simply sponges. They literally suck the life out of you and give nothing back. I have a few "sponge bob" friends. Now, when I say friends, please realize I am using that term VERY loosely. Some how I get sucked into thinking I can help these people, that they just need to be given a chance. I can see their potential and if I just hang on a little longer they will get better. WRONG! this is exactly the kind of thinking that leaves you a shriveled shell of the person you once were. I don't know if you've seen sponge bob square pants but he is a great example. He means well but he drives squidwerd nuts. Sponge bob friends will suck you dry. The key is recognizing who the sponges are in your life and just simply walking away. So to my sponges (who aren't reading this blog so really I'm just venting) I say- Go away. Go find someone else to suck the life out of...I refuse to let you absorb anymore of my energy, patience, and self worth. If I let you stay I will have nothing left to give someone who actually deserves my friendship.

Ask and ye shall receive

A few weeks ago I posted about an elderly man at the mall and the $5 bill that has been lurking in my wallet. True to that post I have been unable to use that money for anything. It truly is not mine any longer. Anyway, I am happy to report that I will not need to frame it and keep it as a reminder of a missed opportunity. But that is not the purpose of this post. Simply a beginning. Since my previous post I have walked past his car every night looking to see if he has left his window open at all- even a tiny crack would do. But each night I passed, all the windows were up. I began to realize that it is fall, and soon it will be snowy. I have no idea if he will be coming to the mall during the winter, I can't remember having seen him before this year. And even if he did come, with the snow his windows would most definitely be rolled up. So last night as I knelt down to pray I decided to ask that the opportunity would present itself. That at least one window would be down and I would be able to slip it in unnoticed. Well- "ask and ye shall receive" as I walked out to my car with a co-worker his driver side window was rolled down a couple of inches, which was a small miracle considering it had been raining all day! I walked to my car, got out the $5 bill, and waited for my co-worker to drive away. I pulled up next to his car, slipped it in and drove away saying a silent prayer of gratitude for small miracles.

Watch what you will...

So I'm really really tired of people telling me I "NEED to watch Glee". Yes, I do like singing and musical theater- but I do not like trash. Seriously people, I don't tell you what to watch or not to watch so please stop! I don't watch a lot of TV because even the "best" shows are filled with vulgar things. Let me put it this way, if there were a $5 bill in a pile of dog poo I would not dig though the poo to get it. So yes your favorite show "Glee" or whatever show it may be may have something great about it- the singing, a great actor, etc- but to me that $5 value is not worth what I would have to submerge myself in to get it. So watch what you will- but please don't bug me because I don't.

There is no "cool" after High school

This post is going to be me venting...so if you aren't in the mood for that...don't read any further. I just have to say I am quite sick of people who think they are better than others...specifically the last couple of weeks I have had friends say to me "why don't you move out of your ward, that ward is a joke, you need to go somewhere better". Really??!! I will admit...my ward is not necessarily full of social grace and I don't hang out with most members of my ward outside of church but I will say that some of the best people live in my ward. Everyone in my ward has something incredible to offer. I can tell you at least one great thing about every person I know in the ward! To suggest that there is nothing good about anyone there just says to me that you think you are better than them all...and by so doing prove to me that you are immature and insecure. you get from a ward what you put in. If you ask yourself what can this place and these people do for me you will forever be disappointed but if you change your focus to "what can I contribute to this place? how can I help someone here?" you will never be disappointed, you will always be fulfilled. There is no "cool" after high school. At least not for grown ups. Those things shouldn't matter anymore- you don't get personality points by pulling others down. Just because you may have more social graces than another does not make you more valuable- in fact in many cases, from my own personal experiences, its been the opposite. Because that socially awkward person is around when I have needed them- not off entertaining the masses of people who probably won't remember their name after a few months. so I'm sorry I must have missed the memo that said you were cooler than everyone else.

Disclaimer: In defense of my friends who said these things, I will admit they probably didn't realize how it came off and I do still love these friends dearly- even though sometimes they can be a little arrogant and self absorbed. but who isn't sometimes. ok. vent done.

Limited Seating..

So today I was thinking..." a dangerous past time" "I know" ..sorry disney reference. Anyway- I have been thinking about how fear can physically limit our accomplishments. And in some cases, Fear can literally paralyse us from realizing our potential. I was thinking about how irrational that is. For instance, we are afraid to tell people how we really feel, or try something we've never done, or in some cases play a sport but why?? because we might say or do something dumb? we might not be perfect? well guess what...no one is perfect. And anyone who tells you they've never messed up at anything is lying to you. For example, I get really really nervous when I have to sing in front of people. One person or one hundred people my reaction is the same. I had a recital a little over a week ago and I did in fact mess up. The track played a little slower than I had practiced and I forgot two notes but no one threw anything at me, no one boo'd. The fact is no one but me probably even remembered my mistakes after I sat down. And it is the same with anything we do...we are probably the only ones who remember our failures. What if I don't pass my test? what if I say the wrong thing? well...life will go on, my friends and family will still love me, and I will be a better person for it.

Its true that there are those people in the world who would love nothing better than to step on you when you are down, or rub your failures in your face...but perhaps its time to remove those people from your life....If all the world is a stage, and you have the leading role- Then play your part, play it big, accept your role- strengths and limitations combined. You will have more fun...your audience will enjoy it more...and to those who would throw tomatoes- don't invite them, there is limited seating at your theater- VIPs only- they can go to someone else's show.

$5 haunting

Every night when I leave work I see an old man in the parking lot. I can't say just how old because this poor soul is pretty weathered. He drives a very old rusty truck and always wears the same thing. I think he shows up sometime around when the mall closes and stays till who knows when. A lot of the people I work with get creeped out by him but I don't. It actually breaks my heart to see him. Last week I saw him as usual but this time he was looking through the trash- which if I had to guess is probably what he does everyday.
This particualr night I walked past his truck and noticed he had left his window down. I immediately had the thought "You should give him the $5 you have in your wallet. Just leave it on the driver's seat". But immediately as the thought came I also thought, "but what if someone sees me? what if they think i'm doing something mean? what if someone comes and takes it after I leave? what if he sees me and resents it?" I had a million different thoughts that kept me from acting on the first and more charitable thought. which I have to admit I am ashamed of. I don't need that $5 and in fact will probably never spend it. That 5 dollar bill will probably haunt me until I die because in my mind, it belongs to the old man from the mall. I once again let my fear of what others might think outweight a kindness. And now every time I walk to my car or open my wallet I remember what I should have done and didn't. I can only hope that next time I get a prompting like that, I act on it and tell my selfish thoughts to stick it! And hopefully in the near future I will walk to my car alone and his window will be down and I can correct the situation.

WHY??!!?!

I think If I try to cram anything else into my head today my brain may swell and explode. I am studying for the GMAT (so I can apply to the MBA program at BYU). The GMAT is probably one of the most horrible tests ever. I took a practice test last night and realized just how much I have forgotten. Lets talk about the math section. It was like trying to take a test in another language. I recognized the words but I didn't know what they meant. Its not even stuff that should be hard, its high school algebra. But if my life had depended on it I still couldn't have figured it out last night. I was so mad at myself, seriously I got A's in High school algebra but it has been 13 years since I've even looked at it. I thought I was so clever testing out of math in college-Even the answer explanations in the book are confusing.
The English section was a little easier for me, I didn't totally fail that part. However, the ones I did miss are still frustrating for me because even after I read the answer explanations I don't always agree with them. Especially on the sentence correction...I still think my choice is the best and their explanation contradicts everything I ever learned in English. AHHH worst test ever! What in the world was I thinking?!?! I have to take it, I paid almost $300 to take it...but it just might be the death of me.

"YES I hate technology.."

There are NO words to describe how completely irritated I am with my grad school application. For weeks the website has said it would be available sept. 1st so being as I am on a limited time schedule I got on sept 1st and it was down for maintenance. Lame. So I got on today, finally logged in, I finished the first portion and then....my Internet disconnected. So I got back on and it told me there was an error on the page because I didn't properly log out. AHHH. So I closed everything and about 30 min later finally got back on. Well as you can guess, all my information was lost. So I entered it again and then clicked the button that said, "save and continue" it did something but THEN....the page wouldn't load. So I logged out and back in...nothing changed. At this point I am so bugged I can feel my heart racing. In the interest of my own health I closed my laptop and walked away. Several hours later I logged back in...no changes. It still won't load. I emailed the tech support people ..and i'm sure its something stupid and they will probably email me to that effect but I am too frustrated to think clearly!! I just want to get it done!! AHHH Yes I hate technology... (sung to the tune of napoleon dynamite wedding song)

Some people's wives...

Ugh some women- I seriously have to question their common sense. Let me back up. So today i'm leaving work and my co-worker says to me (about the UPS delivery) "Look Lori, we have lights" at that exact moment the power in the whole building shuts off. No lights, no music, no power. Awesome.
I stayed around for a few minutes just to help get things settled and in my very slow exit from the dark store I heard this conversation about 4 times in less than five minutes
WORK: "i'm sorry ladies, the power has gone out. we have called mall security and they are trying to get things going again"
Stupid woman: "the power is out? do you have register capabilities?"

Are you serious? I wanted to say, "well, when the power goes out at your house does your PC still work? HELLO- a register is a computer. Good ol' IBM. NO it does NOT work when the power goes out. It is a clothing store not a hospital...there is no "emergency generator". Your purchase or return is NOT life or death. If you can't say something smart don't say anything at all...

Amazing...

So I was checking out my friends blogs and I stopped over at my friend megan's blog and she had this post titled "I want to know love like this some day" and it caught my interest so I clicked on the little video and i'm not even kidding by the end of the short cartoon I was bawling. Not just a little teary eyed but my cheeks were literally wet. Its a cartoon but the voices are of real people and it is one of the most touching stories i've ever heard...and I agree with Megan, some day I want to know love like that...

If you'd like to watch the video just go to web address:

http://vimeo.com/12562270 its about 6 min long and totally worth every second!

Oh commercials...

Mascara commercials. Do they really think we believe the eyelashes on their models/actresses are from their product?!?! I mean come on!! you can practically see the glue from their false band of eyelashes. If they really think i'm going to buy their product after they have so fully insulted my intelligence they have another thing coming.

All Alone with our thoughts

I went to education week this last week at BYU and so many good things happened its not even funny...but the first thing I'm going to mention is I learned something about myself from watching other people. I learned how grateful I am for my years at college because they taught me more than just political science and ballroom dance. They taught me that I can be alone and hold my head up. There is no law that says "if you are alone you must look down" There is no shame in being alone with your thoughts. My parents were at education week but I went my own way- I like to go alone because then you have the freedom to choose any class you like and you can think about the message of the class without being interrupted by someone's chatter. As I sat alone in the classroom watching these women filter in, so many of them just looked a little frantic and uncomfortable. If they were alone, they were searching for someone else, or they were on their phone- as if to tell the world that even though they were physically alone they had friends. So many people are uncomfortable being alone and that makes me sad. I LOVE being alone sometimes. I spent a week on campus with my own thoughts and no one to distract me and I am so grateful that I am confident enough in myself to have had that opportunity. Thank you Mom and Dad for sending me away to college where I knew no one!! Its OK to be alone sometimes, enjoy it!

Bed Intruder

oh my goodness, I saw this video on my friends blog and it is disturbingly addictive. This was a real new report that two guys turned into a music video...seriously?? who even thinks of that..and if you do..who has time for it. these boys need jobs...but in the meantime- enjoy the video.

Tis the season...

Yes it is that time of the year where wedding businesses in Utah thrive. Summer is the time to get married and for some reason I seem to get invited to a ton of them. Especially lately. For the month of August alone I've had 2 bridal showers and five weddings and the month is not over yet. Anyway, that being said I usually feel some mixture of happy and sad. Happy because I love this person and you can see the happiness and joy in their face. They are usually glowing and I love that. And then I usually feel a little sad because 1. I'll admit I'm slightly jealous and 2. and probably the larger reason is I know our friendship will change. This person will not be part of my life as they once were. Someone has taken my place-and that's normal and how it should be but change is still hard. Its selfish, I know, but part of me can't help it.

But last night I attended a wedding that made me sad for an entirely different reason. This time selfishness was not the driving force for my feelings. The groom happened to be my little brother's best friend. A guy who has been around the family for about 2 decades. Like most people, his choices have not always been stellar or lead him down the easiest roads. He has gone through some hard times and over the last few years has really been trying to straighten things out. Which is great because we all love this kid! And last night he chose to marry a girl with a pretty black reputation, who has some substance abuse problems and dresses a little like a street walker. As a side note, I will say that even after attending the wedding I STILL have not actually met her- she didn't talk to anyone but her friends which was a little tacky- That being said, all my comments about her are strictly based on my impressions and others accounts of her character. And I am a firm believer that people can change- but only if they want to. who knows, maybe someday she will be a great person.
Anyway, as I sat listening to the two exchange vows I wanted to jump up and tell them to stop. I watched him as he told her he loved her and would take care of her forever. And I could tell that he cares about her but he still wasn't glowing. And I couldn't help but feel sad because he can't have her forever. Even if he wanted her that long, it can only last until death. Having attended several sealings in the temple- something was missing last night and my heart ached because of it. I think part of him knew it as well...he just doesn't realize how much better things could have been and it breaks my heart. I watched the two of them for the remainder of the reception. Except for pictures and the standard wedding program items the two of them were not really together. They went their separate ways and talked to their separate friends. There was no glow around them that usually makes me sick about a bride and groom- and I never thought I'd say this but I missed it. I like to see couples so in love they make me sick. But last night I was sick for a different reason...because someone I love gave up something incredible for something temporary.
I know that I want something more. I want to feel what was missing last night. I want a man who loves me enough to make it forever. I don't want to do things half way. I want it all or I don't want anything.

accessories are a must!

So the last two days I really have not wanted to get dressed and mostly I didn't want to wear jeans. They just sounded uncomfortable AND I wanted to wear my new teal headband. But I wasn't feeling too creative so I put on a black shirt and black Bermuda shorts and as to not look Gothic I added the teal headband used teal eyeliner and some silver earrings with teal accent. Plus I actually round brushed my hair. This is how I went to work. once at work I went to the back door to let my friend Lynsey in and as I open the door she says, "oh wow, Lori I didn't even recognize you. You look so cute today" haha I must really have let myself go if a colored headband and earrings makes me unrecognizable...guess I should accessorize more often!!

Entitlement syndrome

Lets say you are walking through the mall with a pack of fruit snacks, fries, wheat thins..whatever snack you so desire...and I walk by and just help myself, "thank you I've been starving". You would probably be bugged or shocked at least....yes as you should be. That would be wrong of me and I would be, dare I say it, stealing from you. What is the definition of stealing?

1. To take (the property of another or others) without permission of right.

Yes that about sums it up so if that is not ok for me, why would ANYONE think it is ok to come into my place of work, reach over my register and help themselves to a coupon that I had not given them, that was not easily in their reach or facing them. The coupon did not say "please take one " or in some cases, "please take as many as you'd like". Seriously, people come in my store all the time and just help themselves to as many coupons as they would like. Perhaps if the coupon applies to you, you could wait until I offer it to you. It will save some embarrassment when I ask you to put it back because it doesn't apply to you. Crazy women- I won't steal your kids crackers if you don't steal my coupons. No matter how much money you want to save, no matter how bad your 18 month old NEEDS that coat it is NOT ok to just take stuff from behind my register. You are suffering from entitlement syndrome. you do not deserve everything you want just because you are breathing. sorry but you don't.

To be or not to be....just chose one already!

I received a text message from a very good friend of mine tonight. I was just getting off work and I texted her back. A few minutes later I just felt like I needed to call her. For those of you who know me- I hate the phone. I hate calling anyone or being called unless there is something very specific that needs to be discussed. Anyway, this was a big deal for me but I dialed the number anyway. Turns out the phone call was, I hope in some way, useful to her but it also served as a reminder to me of a very valuable principle I sometimes forget. one about decision making.

When you make a choice, if its right, keep moving forward. Don't allow doubt to creep in and cause you to second guess that decision. Whatever the decision may be..a job, a spouse, a move..etc. don't allow doubt and regret to cloud your mind. Even if everyone else thinks you are crazy-Make your choice and be happy with it.

Lets be honest- this life is about learning...even if you make the wrong choice sometimes, which we all do, unless it kills you- you can make a new choice. Take what you've learned and head down a better path. But don't keep asking yourself if it is to be or not to be...pick one and be happy.

Lead on Wendy

I feel like at some point in my college career I must have been sprinkled with pixie dust and flown away to Neverland. But this Neverland is special, it looks just like Utah county...its as if I never left the real world. But I'm becoming more convinced that perhaps Neverland has become my new reality. Let me see if I can explain. First of all when I say Neverland- I am, in fact, referring to the Disney version of the magical world in which peter pan and his lost boys dwell. Now, when I was at BYU I have to admit, I didn't really want to grow up. My roommates were so fun and I just wanted to do my own thing when I wanted to do it. I am a kid at heart and love to have fun. And I think because of that, Neverland promised, just as it did in the movie, to be everything I thought I wanted. I made friends with peter pan and his lost boys. We played games and talked and just had a grand time together. These are the boys whose motto is, "I want to be a little boy, to always have fun and never grow up". Which at 21, 22 years old that is great- no threat there. But after 25 it starts to get a bit old. I feel like every guy I meet is a lost boy and even though it was fun for a time, I find myself sympathizing with Wendy at the end of the film- when she finally decides the fun is over. She loves peter and his lost boys...they are some of her best friends, but Its time to grow up and get on with life. The last few days I have been feeling pretty apathetic towards every guy I know and I couldn't figure out why. Then I decided it isn't apathy after all- but a frustration with men to not move on. To not recognize and strive for their potential. I am not apathetic- just saying to those lost boys, even the ones I love, that I am leaving Neverland. They can come with me if they'd like..but if not I guess the time has come to say goodbye. Wendy was a smart girl and I intend to follow her lead- you can't have a full and meaningful life in Neverland.

publicly creepering

If you have a facebook account you are familiar with the endless page suggestions, applications, and invites to this and that. I usually just ignore them and periodically I will go through and ignore/reject them. But just the other day I received and invite that caught my attention. This was the invite of all invites. The chance for all stalkers to publicly announce their stalker-ness. The link was supposed to enable a person to view private profiles. Now I'm not going to lie, sometimes I find private profiles irritating..but never enough to hack into them. I mean really, they are private for a reason. My own page is private cause I don't want creepers having access to my stuff. I can't imagine people actually joining this group or app or whatever it is. You are publicly announcing to the world that you are a creeper. If you are going to be a creeper...keep it to yourself. :)

Something to aspire to...

"I have never seen a woman in my life, who would endure every species of fatigue and hardship, from month to month, and from year to year, with that unflinching courage, zeal, and patience, which she has ever done..she has been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty- she has breasted the storms of persecution, and buffeted the rage of men and devils, which would have borne down almost any other woman" -Lucy Mack Smith (said of daughter in Law Emma Smith)

EMMA SMITH

Just the other day my mom was watching a show on KBYU (I think) and I was only half listening when my attention was drawn away from my computer. A woman was retelling a story about Emma Smith. She wanted a blessing from her husband Joseph Smith before he was taken to Carthage jail. There was not time so Joseph told her to write the things she most desired and he would sign it on his return. I have included the blessing below because I think it is beautiful. She was a very intelligent and wise woman and one of my hero's. I know she gets a lot of flack for her actions after Joseph's death but in my book, Emma is still someone to be admired. These are her words:

"first of all that I would crave as the richest of Heaven's blessings would be wisdom from my Heavenly Father bestowed daily, so that whatever I might do or say, I could not look back at the close of the day with regret, nor neglect the performance of any act that would bring a blessing. I desire the Spirit of God to know and understand myself, that I desire a fruitful, active mind, that I may be able to comprehend the designs of God, when revealed through his servants without doubting. I desire a spirit of discernment, which is one of the promised blessings of the Holy Ghost. I particularly desire wisdom to bring up the children that are, or may be committed to my charge, in such a manner that they will be useful ornaments in the Kingdom of God, and in a coming day arise up and call me blessed. "

"I desire Prudence that I may not through ambition abuse my body and cause it to become prematurely old and care-worn, but that I may wear a cheerful countenance, live to perform all the work that I covenanted to perform in the spirit-world and be a blessing to all who in any wise need aught at my hands."

"I desire with all my heart to honor and respect my husband as my head, ever to live in his confidence and by acting in unison with him retain the place which God has given me by his side, and I ask my Heavenly Father that through humility, I may be enabled to overcome that curse which was pronounced upon the daughters of Eve. I desire to see that I may rejoice with them in the blessings which God has in store for all who are willing to be obedient to his requirements. Finally, I desire that whatever may be my lot through life I may be enabled to acknowledge the hand of God in all things"

I echo many of her desires. Not all of them apply to me in my life right now, but I think and hope that someday they will.

so maybe i'm a cynic sometimes....

Now that I'm not relief society president I suddenly have a ton of time on Sunday. NO morning meetings. that being said I had about 2 hours to kill this morning so naturally I turned on WE wedding Sunday because I love all things weddings. They have this show called "my big fat fabulous wedding" and I decided to try it out. The first episode I turned on was a couple who were about 15 years apart. They spent $775,000 on their wedding. Right after the ceremony the groom says, "this is all for you" and the bride says, not thank you, not I love you...but "I'm worth it". Right there and then I decided they will be lucky if they are still married in a year. She was such a spoiled princess he will spend his marriage giving and she will spend it taking. Call me a cynic but I think its a fat waste of money!!

Not just for kids

I am a kid at heart. And maybe not so much at heart..maybe it comes out of my heart a little too often. I love to have fun. I love to laugh and play and enjoy every day! That being said, it only makes sense that I would be a fan of playgrounds and slides. All kinds of slides. However, there are times when the playing must stop and some serious reflection must take place. The last few days I have been reflecting on my life. Where it was and where it is and where I want it to be. As I look back, I realize that even serious things can be related to fun, for example. A typical park slide. I realized, even just a few months ago I was working really hard to climb those steps to get to the peak and enjoy the view. Its amazing being at the top...no one can reach you and your view is amazing. You can see things you couldn't see from the lower elevation. But at some point in the recent past I must have sat down to take a rest or something, and in sitting I inadvertently allowed myself to slide down the slide. I don't even think I realized what was happening. But here I am again, at the bottom of the steps, looking up to my goal and realizing that it takes a lot more work and a lot more time to get to the top than it does to slide down to the bottom. That is the easy part, no effort and it happens quickly. Now I'm not saying I have done anything horribly bad...I just am not seeing things as clearly as I once was and I know the reason for it. I can see which areas of my life are lacking attention and its time to start my upward climb...once again. But this time...I'm going to try and stay at the top.

Before I kick the bucket...

So today I was thinking about my bucket list. For one thing it needs to be longer but for now I will share what i've got:

Shoot a bow and arrow/cross bow
Learn to play the violin
Become and expert marksman
Spend the 4th of July in DC
Fly in a hot air balloon
visit the Ben & Jerry's factory
learn to ski
tour europe
four wheeling in moab
have a lead in Les Miserables (Eponine or Fantine)
orchestra seats to Wicked
take the church history tour
law school
work at Disneyland
go on a cruise
learn to water ski
Eat a lobster tail from Carlos bakery in Jersey
snorkle in Maui
visit pearl harbor


i'm sure there are more things i'd love to do before I kick the bucket...if you have any suggestions let me know and I will evaluate them and see if they are worthy to be added to my list :)

How quickly we adapt

So I looked outside today and saw my car sitting in the drive way and thought to myself, "wow- my car is filthy". I can't even remember the last time it was washed and now it has multiple places where the seagulls at the mall have been using it for target practice. So I was talking to my mom and I said, "I need to drive my car through the car wash" and a split second later I thought, hum..I guess I could wash it myself. I had the day off and only a few things to do. I had the time to wash it. Then I started thinking...how lazy our society has become. It hadn't occurred to me that I could actually wash my car myself. I used to wash my car every week inside and out..I love washing the car. I would like to think that I have just been so busy the last few years that paying the $6 dollars was a better value for me than all the things I wouldn't get done in the 30 or 40 min it took me to wash the car myself. But how sad is it that I was going to still pay $6 to have a machine wash my car when it was a beautiful day outside and I don't have to work until 6pm. Insane. How quickly I adapted to the thinking that is was not just more convenient to use the car wash but that it was now the only solution. Makes me wonder how many other things in my life have become that way. What things have I convinced myself are necessities that really are not. I bet its more than just washing my car...I think I need to spend some more time really stopping and thinking about how I am spending my time and my money. I need to make sure what starts out as a once in awhile convenience does not turn into my only mode of survival.

Bells are Ringing- Springville Playhouse

Well my play has officially ended. The bells are ringing ran June 4th -June 26th and man was it a blast!! I got to work with some of the most fun and talented people ever!! I was busy all day long but it was so worth it. I met so many incredible people that I wouldn't have met otherwise! I wasn't in too many scenes and I only had 4 solo speaking lines but we had so so much fun back stage waiting to go on. Lots of inside jokes and a lot of ugly pictures! I can't wait to do another show. It is exhausting and time consuming but so very worth it! I was able to stretch myself a little further out of my comfort zone and right now i'm all about challenging myself and letting myself continue to grow.

Time to say goodbye...

I'm not going to lie, Sunday was a really hard day for me. I was released as the Relief Society President in my singles ward. Which, as many of you know, was something I was looking forward to. I have been in that position for about a year and a half and it has not been easy. I was very much ready to be done giving assignments and following up. I was just tired. So when the bishop told me there was going to be a change I initially felt very relieved. Well, Sunday rolled around and I was released in sacrament meeting. I handed over my binder and had to go to another meeting instead of relief society and that is where I began to struggle a bit. I have been in the presidency for 2 1/2 years. So for me to not be in relief society at all was awful. I felt like I was doing something wrong by not being there. Of course I knew I wasn't but it was weird. It was like quitting relief society cold turkey. I went from being in charge of everything to not even attending the meeting all within the space of a few hours. And then when when church was over, I hesitated to walk out the doors. I had a split moment where I thought..."I can't leave, there are still people in the building. I'm sure someone needs me to do something." I can't remember the last time I didn't have something to take care of after the block. I went home and had a small breakdown. It was weird to not be needed anymore, to not know what was going on, and to not have to follow up with anyone. I am sure it was just a let down of stress. I knew the change was coming...my time was up and it was time for someone else to learn and grow but its almost like I have to re-define who I am. I am excited for the change but its going to take a few weeks to re-adjust mentally to the change....but like all things in life its time to say goodbye to that chapter of my life and start a new one.

Toddlers and Tiaras

I admit it...I watched this show tonight. Mostly out of curiosity and it was everything I ever thought it would be. A bunch of spoiled misguided children and a bunch of shallow over baring parents. Something else I noticed and please no one take this the wrong way but all of the crazy moms (at least on this episode) were way over weight. Which seems really interesting for women who are so concerned with their children's physical appearance...you would think they would also be concerned with their own...But who knows, perhaps that's why they focus so much on their children. Crazy show!

Something to be said for Hoarding...

I just want to publicly announce that I am never "cleaning" my room again. It has caused me nothing but grief the last few months. First I got rid of a dress I've needed twice and now...NOW I can't find my blingy ballroom costume jewelry. ALL of it is missing which means I probably gathered it up together and put it somewhere so that it would be easy to find. Well guess what?? I can't find it!!! ahhh. I'm so bugged right now. I probably wasted an hour of my life looking for the dumb stuff and I still have nothing to show for it.

I dreamed a dream

Do you ever have a dream that is beyond annoying? and then you keep having it? well I do. I started having a dream that I am chewing gum and I try to throw it away and it gets caught in my teeth and then I spend the rest of the dream trying unsuccessfully to pull it out. In my dream I keep saying to myself, "I thought this gum was sugar free, why is it sticking like this??" After I had this dream 2 or 3 times I finally figured out that I only have that dream on the nights I wear my retainer to bed. So really its my retainer that is "stuck" to my teeth. So annoying. Mostly because now I know why I'm having the dumb dream but there is nothing I can do about it. I just know if I wear a retainer to bed I will have the gum sticking dream. Why couldn't I have been born with straight teeth like my brother? ;)

"oh the weather outside is frightful"

WHAT THE?!?! I just want to say I woke up this morning pretty happy and then...I looked out my window and what did I see THIS!! It is May 24th for heaven sakes and I woke up to snow covered roof tops. I had to dig out my boots just to walk from my car to work and I was still wet and cold when I got inside. not cool! Needless to say, I was in a pretty black mood this morning. Crazy stinking weather!

A child's Perspective

My mom was watching my 3 yr old nephew yesterday and this Disneyland add was on the table. My sister and her family are going to Disneyland next month so my mom pointed to the picture and said, "Brandon, what is this?" He looked at the picture for just a few seconds and very matter of factly responded, "That's Lori" I love that kid. As a side note, he was with us when we did my snow white photo shoot.

Creeper

There is this commercial...I am not even 100% sure what its for...it might be the I-phone or something. I'm pretty sure its a phone. Anyway, its super creepy. You know the one with all the gigantic cartoon drawings walking all over the city leering at everyone while Willy Wonka sings his creeper song. Then they all disappear as the guy says, "remember when you were five and anything was possible, well, happy 5Th birthday" then the freakish cartoon peers over his shoulder like a stalker...yeah. Its creepy. Not quite up there with the Tarzan song "look over your shoulder and I'll be there" ...but a creeper came up with it for sure!

na-na-na-na life goes on..

OH my goodness...I'm having a moment right now. I just enrolled in health/dental/vision benefits at work. How weird is that?! I'm having a bit of a hard time grasping the fact that I'm a grown up with a real job, paid time off and all. its great...but kind of abstract still. I guess in my own mind I'm still just a student but life goes on whether I'm ready to admit it or not. But at least this time it is going on in a good way! A really good way that is saving me quite a bit of money...yay! :)

Home, Home on the range...

For years now I have been convinced that I wanted to marry a cowboy. They epitomize manly-ness. But just the other day I was talking to two very good friends of mine and they helped me realize an error in my thinking. I realized I know a few true cowboys and they are not actually attractive to me. They tend to travel a lot and they are really really country. I am not. I like to shop and I work at the GAP for heaven sakes. It would never work out. I only like to pretend i'm country when its time for summer rodeos...but secretly i'm not. All my rodeo clothes are GAP- they are fakes. I don't wear Wrangler or Stetson. So I came to a new conclusion...I want a normal man who sometimes does cowboy things. Yes he needs to ride a horse but he also needs to wear a suit to work :)

Mystery No More

Back in January I wrote a post about my experience with the doctor at the insta care. Well, a few days after that post I started to feel better so I started working out. The very next day I was sick again. I felt exactly as I did the week before. Horribly sick for a day and then gradually got better. My mom and I decided I should probably not try and work out for awhile since I seemed to have a relapse each time. After a few days I felt a ton better...except that I was tired all the time. Now when I say tired I mean that I would be watching TV and at like 7pm I had to get in bed. Not just the "oh I'm tired" I literally HAD to get in bed. I was pretty sure I had Mono. too old or not. So I started taking it slower. If I wasn't at work I was resting. Finally at the end of March I decided to go get a check up with a real doctor. I had him order some blood work and he tested for a TON of things. Six vials of blood. ouch. Anyway, someone, either the lab or my doctor's office, lost my lab results. So from the end of March until today my tests were floating, unclaimed, in the world of hospital records. The MA called me today and informed me that my blood work showed 3 antibodies suggesting that my body had at some point been fighting mono. As of March, I had previously had mono. And since I've never had anything similar to that before January I can safely assume that I have solved the mystery of my exhaustion. hooray. And pox on that retarded doctor who did not do blood work on me because he didn't think my glands were swollen enough and who thought I was too old to have mono. Lame!! And thanks for Nothing!!

Nothing to see ..

Why do men have to look around so much when they are driving? Have you ever noticed that? I swear every time I get behind a male driver he is always looking out his window. Instinctively I look because I am asking myself what the devil he is looking at and I see Nothing! What are they looking at..I see an empty field, a parking lot, a house...nothing of note. They just drive slower because they are looking at everything BUT the road. At least while you are driving a motor vehicle please look at the road!

Don't ask..

I begin with an apology to anyone who is planning on being a broadcast journalist. But why do they always ask the dumbest questions?!?! I came home the other day and my parents had the news on. They were doing some coverage of the tornado ravaged cities..they showed footage of cities that had been ripped apart and the reporter asks, "wow, do these people feel lucky to be alive?" um duh. But I realized they do it ALL the time...anyone remember the Olympics... the capital of stupid questions..."you just missed the medal podium, how does that feel?" I mean for the love, what do you expect these people to say...think about your questions before you open your mouth!!

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Pants on the Ground

My last post (which was from an email my mom sent me) reminded me of an episode of American idol this season. I didn't really watch it but my niece and nephew introduced me to this particular episode. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, an older gentleman (62 yrs) wrote his own song titled "pants on the ground" it was pretty funny. So out of curiosity I looked on itunes and there it was. You can purchase "pants on the ground" for $1.29. It has a ton of downloads. What is our society coming to?! haha. In the words of Simon "I have a scary feeling that song could be a hit"

If you haven't seen it, look it up. "American Idol 2010 auditions- A crazy moment with "pants on the Ground" & General Larry Platt

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiQkGouzck4

FINALLY ITS BEEN EXPLAINED!

Strike 2 for UPS

So for a week now I've had a swimsuit sitting on my bed. Mostly it was there because it is too big and I need to exchange it for the right size. So today, I finally talked myself into taking it to the post office. I really really didn't want to go but I did. I took my mom so I'd have more motivation to actually get in the car. As I'm driving, I somehow manage to get behind a man on a joy ride. And I do literally mean he was joy riding. 20 mph in his convertible in a 25mph zone. (anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE slow drivers) so after several blocks behind him I finally get to turn into the post office. Low and behold it is closed. I must have missed the memo that says the post office is no longer open on Saturdays. BLAST. So my mom says, "well UPS can send it insured mail". Perfect. I drive over to UPS and no joke, as I am pulling into the parking lot I see the employee closing the door. I thought no way its only 2:54pm. They have to be open until 3pm at least. So I pull up right in front of it to see if I can find posted hours or something. As we sit there I see him pulling his gate across the counter to lock up the register. He really was closing for the day! I sat there stunned for a minute and gave up. I pulled out of my parking spot and as I'm pulling away from the building my mom says "wait a minute". I turn around and the employee has come out and unlocked the door. At this point I was so annoyed with him that I just blew him off and drove away. I mean seriously, did he really think I was going to do a 12 point turn in the parking lot. He couldn't have opened the door while I was still sitting in my parking space. Perhaps he is unaware that the economy sucks and he needs every one's business. Its Saturday. And this is Utah. Everyone does everything at the last minute. He doesn't get to close 6 min early. Or perhaps in his world he does...and in my world the US post office will be getting my business on Monday. What a waste of my time!! Strike 2!

PS ( in case you are wondering about strike 1-UPS messed something up at work)

Cast it in...

Fishing is an interesting thing...you bait your hook, you throw it out into a vast body of water, and you wait. You wait until a fish decides to bite. Then you reel it in...sometimes you keep the fish and sometimes you set it free. What does this have to do with anything? I will tell you...

ok the last couple of days I have had several interesting conversations with some pretty amazing friends. Specifically tonight I was talking to a friend. She's amazing, return missionary, strong testimony, gorgeous voice, smart- graduating from byu with a business degree, has a full time job lined up...she is a catch. She was expressing to me her frustration that all the guys she has been out with just want to be her friend. Specifically these boys will take her on dates, they call her, they spend hours talking to her about anything and everything-but they just want to be friends. I fully understand that a person has to be attracted to the person they choose to marry...so don't get me wrong. that's not the direction this ranting is going.

So during our conversation tonight she tells me that a guy she was on a date with last week told her that he doesn't want to marry a girl who is smarter than him. He wants a wife who needs him and depends on him. THIS is where I have a problem. So many guys don't think about their futures. I don't think he should marry a girl smarter than him but I also don't think he, or any other guy, should marry a girl who is not his equal. I think a lot of guys cheat themselves out of a really great relationship. I started thinking about the guys I know...and not all of them...but quite a few of them have settled for girls who don't encourage them to be better...and to keep progressing. on the flip side, I know too many girls who married the first guy who asked because they just wanted to be married. They wanted to be taken care of and start a family.

Again, let me clarify. I am not knocking the goal of getting married and having a family...in fact I am all about it. I am, however, not a fan of rushing into it. I am continually baffled that so many guys just want a wife that depends on them...they aren't thinking about the future. What happens if you can't provide for her anymore, what happens if work takes you away for awhile...will she be able to manage the household? If you pass away first, will she be able to balance her checkbook or pay the bills? Or will she suddenly be lost and insecure? That is where my confusion lies...I just have to ask myself how anyone can be truly happy that way. Let me see if I can explain my train of thought....

men: Don't you want a wife who is with you because she wants to be and not because she needs to be. Don't you want to know that she choose you for you..and not just because you could provide for her, because she needs you to take care of her. Don't you want to be with someone who understands you.

Women: Don't you want to be with someone you can have a conversation with, someone who isn't always telling you how things are but who asks for your input. Don't you want to know that you are helping your husband and not just adding to his responsibility.

I for one want an equal marriage or none at all...eternity is a long time. I once heard a very profound statement by a woman lawyer in DC...she said, "I will never love a man because I NEED him. But I will NEED a man because I love him."

And as for these boys and their "lets just be friends"- I say cut the cord. Lets face it...friendships with the opposite sex are not a lasting thing. (there are some exceptions) but generally as soon as one or both of you gets serious with someone your friendship is over- unless you are all friends but that is another story. The long walks, the chats over dinner...all those things are gone when you get engaged to someone else or at least they should be...so why waste the time...its sucks but move on to a smarter guy. Ladies...you don't want a fly fisher..you want a man who casts his reel and waits patiently, hooks a good one (you) and knows its a good one...If he doesn't know what he's got while he's got it...then he doesn't deserve to keep it. He deserves to go hungry.... :) too many metaphors? maybe? but you get my point.

Kicking my own butt!

Ok we all know how I feel about diets. And I think we all agree they are lame. So I'm going to share with you something that is NOT lame. Jilliam Michales (the trainer from the biggest Loser) 30 day shred. I'm going to confess that I laughed at my sister when she was doing this video. And last week I decided to try it myself. My niece wanted someone to do level one with her so I agreed. OH MY HECK! its only 20 min long....3 circuit's made up of 3 min strength, 2 min cardio and 1 min of abs. Sounds easy. I warn you...it is NOT. I have not been able to walk normal for a week now. I am not sure I'll ever make it to level two alive. So I'm telling you...forget the diet. If you want to lose weight and get in shape go to target/walmart and get this video. You will seriously kick your own butt!

What is the point???

I'm sitting at work yesterday and a co-worker says to me, "oh my gosh, only 12 more days of my diet. the end is in sight. I can make it" I didn't say anything but i'm thinking to myself, what is the point of a diet anyway? you deprive yourself of stuff for a month of two or however long the dumb thing is and then what...you count down till the end when you can eat all the crap you ate before. But you probably eat twice as much since you've been deprived of it for so long! completely pointless. diets are stupid. End of soap box :)

Not just for children...

Many of you have probably noticed that the title of my blog comes from a popular Dr. Seuss book. And if you didn't realize it...you are missing a vital piece of your education. OH the places you'll go is my favorite book. I am in love with children's books. But not just any children's book. I have two requirements for a children's book to be considered good...and a book has to meet at least one of them...and those that meet both are termed "favorite". If you are in the market for a good children's book here are a few of my favorites:

Oh the Places you'll go- Dr. Seuss -A book about life- successes and failures

The Spider and the Fly-Tony DiTerlizzi-Mary Howitts Cautionary tale about pretty words hiding not so pretty intentions. (the illustrations in this one are amazing)

The Paper Bag Princess- Robert Munsch/Michael Martchenko- no damsel in distress this princess saves the day and doesn't take garbage from anyone..not even her prince.

The Rough-Face girl- Rafe martin/ David Shannon-Indian folklore a story of looking beyond the outer appearance and on the heart.

The Tale of Three Trees- Retold by Angela Elwell Hunt-Three trees whose wishes come true but not always in the way they imagine.

Cinder Edna- Ellen Jackson-A story of what can be done without a fairy god mother, making your dreams happen all on your own.

Fanny's Dream- caralyn Buehner-not waiting for life to give you your dreams, but learning to work hard and enjoy the life you have chosen.

The giving tree- Shel Silverstein-Self-less love and service

A Christmas Dress for Ellen- retold by Thomas S. Monson-A story of service and love to bring a Christmas miracle to a little girl and her family

The Christmas Candle- Richard Paul Evens-The light of Christ helps us see things as they really are

Max Lucado- You are special, Because I love you, Just the way you are, I'll be with you always, and With you all the way- Religious themed about knowing who you are and of your worth.

These are a few of my favorite books with great life lessons for young and old.