But I don't Speak Dutch?!

This last Monday I auditioned at the Hale Center Theater Orem for a show called Crazy For You.  I have auditioned, maybe four or five times at the Hale and I've never been called back.  Which is fine- my resume is itty bitty and I get kind of nervous when people are so close they are practically looking up my nose.  Also, I have a really hard time acting when I'm in my work clothes.  Put me in a costume with make up and hair and I'm all over it.  But it's hard to be "me" and pretend to be someone else.  ANYWAY- Tuesday night I was getting off line and getting ready to go to bed when I thought, "I maybe should check that email address that I NEVER check".  So I did and I looked at it for probably 30 seconds before I realized that it was not junk mail, that it was in fact and email telling me I got called back for a dance audition.  No big deal right? I was a composite dance major for two years- I've done almost everything.  However, it's been six years since I graduated  which means it's been about 8 years since I've done any rhythm or footwork type classes and this audition: TAP.  Not awesome.  Tap was one of the two classes I did NOT take at BYU.  So I went to bed Tuesday night thinking of all my friends who tap and hoping someone could teach me some basics on such short notice. 
Well old lady luck was on my side.  My awesome friend Aimee came up and taught me some basic steps.  I practiced and practiced for over an hour until I had all the necessary sounds.  Yay.  After said practice I started to feel slightly less terrified and thought, "yes, I can totally fake my way through this". 
Well, the time for dancing had arrived.  Feeling pretty confident I stepped out on the floor and David started teaching the choreography and I am pretty sure my mouth hit the floor.  He said he was doing a time step but I have had two different people teach me a time step and what he did looked NOTHING like what I was shown before.  He moved on to some even crazier steps then started adding shoulders and arms and turns and toes and jumps...I kind of just wanted to walk out.  But that is super unprofessional so I didn't.  Here is the thing:  I usually have a hard time remembering the sequence of steps in the time frame we are given.  HOWEVER- at least in other auditions I know what the steps are and have seen them before. I have done a 3 count turn, a jazz step, etc.  I can usually get about 75% of it.  But to try and remember a sequence of steps that I have never in my life seen before is impossible.  It was like walking into a Dutch language class, having the teacher rattle off a paragraph and then turn to you and say, "okay now you and this other person repeat that back to me in unison while everyone else watches/listens to you.  oh and I'll be judging you to see if you are as good as the girl in the back who has been speaking dutch her whole life. Don't worry, I can tell if you have the capacity to learn by what you show me after this five minute lesson."  WHAT?!?!  It really feels awful to have to walk out in front of people you respect, knowing you are totally out of your element and about to show them something that is way below your capacity.  ugh...so humiliating.  I never perform at sub standard quality- I would normally kill myself practicing before I would perform what I had to perform today. I have no plans to repeat that experience any time soon.

This is The Voice

This is my frivolous post. Do you watch "The Voice"?  I just started this season and I think I like it.  I don't know if I like it enough to watch it again next season...but for now it's entertaining.  Anyway- my point: Every show I keep hearing the judges say, "oh your voice is so unique"  I disagree.  I think there are only a few women on the show this season with unique voices.  The rest of them just have one of two sounds.  The belt voice with lots of soul and runs or the bubble in the throat forced vibrato, don't open my mouth, indie sound that belts a few notes.  I hate the indie sound- maybe because I can hear the technical mis-steps...also, that can't feel good plus it's ugly.  I hope none of these girls make it very far.  I think I want a man to win.  Girls are annoying. 
one major pet peeve with shows like this...everyone tries to play the sympathy card.  They all have an epic tale of woe. My jaw was broken, I play on the streets, my mom is sick, I am homeless...blah blah. Yep that sucks.  Life is hard but this isn't about who has the saddest story- it's about who can sing the best right? whatever.

What I Learned Tonight

as most of you are aware- the Grammy's were on tonight.  I am a lover of music so naturally I turned them on.  After about two minutes I remembered all the things I hate about award shows.  Arrogance.  As the camera man scanned the audience full of celebrities you could see self importance slathered all over their faces.  Truth is half the people I know sing better than most of the people in that room.  They just happen to have more money and better connections than my friends.  I also learned tonight that you apparently do not need to sing on key to perform at the Grammy's.  Does that seem weird to anyone else? An award show honoring musical excellence yet you can't stay on pitch? 

There was also a performer- not sure who he was but he was singing a beach boys song and he kept doing the awkward microphone squat.  The one where he just didn't extend the mic stand far enough so now he has one hip pushed out to the side and he's kind of hunched over- tapping one foot on rhythm while holding the mic with both hands because he doesn't know what else to do with said hands.  All while eating the microphone because he thinks that makes him look intense or something.  Not sure why people think that's cool- it just looks like he's doing the potty dance on stage.  "Ahh, I gotta pee but I have to finish this song first!"  Not cool. 

To be fair- there are a few people in that room with real talent.  Stevie Wonder.  George Straight. Tony Bennett, Jennifer Hudson, Adele, etc.  And others who SHOULD have been there- Whitney Houston. (What a waste of talent- and it could have been avoided. sad.) What did I see amongst this talent- in the middle of a standing ovation the camera sweeps the audience and two women remained sitting holding their smart phones.  Seriously, this is a pretty incredible experience and you are posting/tweeting/texting...PUT THE PHONE DOWN and live in the moment.  Experience your life for real!!

May I Have This Dance?

So once upon a time I minored in ballroom dance at BYU.  I was on team for about a year and a half and loved every second of it.  I took both latin and standard classes but usually performed standard routines. which I loved!!  This was my favorite waltz.  A vienesse waltz.  I am the one on the left...if you watch closely you can follow me throughout the whole routine and if you can't keep track of me, cause sometimes it's tricky I am also the one on the left at the end of the dance.  The formations are pretty cool to watch as well...although since this was the first semester on team for some of my teammates- the lines are not always perfect.  The formation routines were choreographed and directed by Brady Stevenson.  He is fabulous.  Some day, when technology is not smarter than me I will figure out out how to post another waltz, a jive and a samba... but for now this will have to do.  Don't let the length scare you- i'm only in the first 2 or 3 minutes.  But if you want to keep watching after there is a foxtrot perfomed by two members of the touring company (I can't remember their names) and a samba performed by Emron Grover and Natalie Wakefield.  Then the latin formation team does a cha-cha.  

    

(if you can't get the video to load CLICK HERE)

In Over My Head

I think I might be in over my head. I have a 3o minute voice lesson once a week and a master class once a month. (3 lessons and masterclass) Well, I have decided to compete in NATS (National Association of Teachers of Singing- or something like that) its a voice competition. Last year I competed in the Adult Belter division and this year I am doing it again. But I have decided I want to compete Legit as well (legit is somewhere between classical and belt). The thing is....I don't sing legit. I have done one legit song in my life. NATS is the first weekend in march so that means I have exactly 4 lessons to learn 4 songs. Two of which are TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. Great. Here is what I'm singing: (click on the titles to hear the songs)

Legit:
Vanilla Ice Cream from She loves me
Love don't turn away from 110 in the shade or Your Daddy's Son from Ragtime (I have yet to decide on one- feel free to leave your vote)

Belt:
Here I am from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Woman from the Pirate Queen (I was going to do a solo version of You are My Home from the Scarlett pimpernel but I now realize I don't have time to learn and perfect it so I'm picking something I already know)

I know exactly 1 of these songs well, another 2 semi well and the others not really at all. like I said 4 weeks to perfect 4 songs....in WAY over my head.

Just Go With It

What is the thing I dislike about my singing voice? too much vibrato. I was afraid to sing in front of ANYONE after the age of twelve so I pretty much sang in my room. what did I sing to? The original, which means 1980s, recordings of Miss Saigon and Les Miserables. Back then Vibrato was the way to sing. Everyone did it, and that's how I trained myself- trying to sound like those women. Well, now I'm singing and trying to eliminate a lifetime of bad habits. It's actually really hard. Most of the time I don't realize I'm doing it, until someone records it and lets me hear it. Why am I talking about this again...well because it occurred to me today that perhaps I shouldn't fight it quite so hard. Linda Eder has TONS of vibrato and people love her. Also, perhaps I should just sing country. Then I wouldn't have to change anything- it's supposed to sound that way. If Taylor Swift can sing, (which she really can't without all her pitch correction technology) then I for sure can do it! :) This will be my new experiment this month.

Note: This does not mean I am going to give up my show tunes- I don't think I could if I tried.

Christmas Recital

Okay Folks...I can't believe I'm doing this. I am posting the link for my recital video. It isn't perfect and normally I wouldn't share something that isn't perfect. But I am trying to get over that. I always expect perfection and lets face it...that never happens. I am accepting the fact that I am my biggest critic and I often let that stop me from sharing things with the people I love. Like this video...I didn't want to share it with 50 people I love because of one or two people who might judge me and say mean things about the few mistakes. Not cool. I need to just ignore those people and accept it for what it is. I think that's why I get so nervous...I am afraid of what people are saying. Also there are things about my voice I don't love, I'm working on changing them but that takes time. It's getting better- but no one but me expects a finished product with so little time and effort...so that's what this is...a work in progress and I'm sharing it with anyone who wants to see it. Scary. Also please remember that I am not a jazz singer...this style is WAY out of my comfort zone.

Please click HERE to watch the video. (My favorite part is when I unconsciously started fixing the belt on my dress. nice)

Always Last

I have said it before and I'll say it again, I get really really nervous when I sing in front of anyone. The longer I wait to do it the worse my nerves get. Last time I sang in church they had me sing before the first speaker- which was fantastic! No time to get nervous. It was over before I could think about it. Well, such is not the case at my voice recitals. I am almost always one of the last 3 people to sing out of a group of 15-20. I am not complaining really, I know it's good for me and I'm learning to control my nerves. Today I didn't get nervous until just four people before me. (Out of 18 that's not bad) Also, I got to sit by my friend Madison whom I LOVE. So there were lots of good things about going 2nd to last today. Also, I got to wake everyone up before they drove home :) j/k

Overall the recital went well. There were a few spots that I didn't feel were great- I've sung them 100 times better, but I have also sung them 100 times worse. So I feel pretty okay about the whole thing. Now I have to sing on Sunday and possibly a show in February...hooray for facing fears right?!

Sucka'

I just bought a whole album off itunes for one song. So basically I just paid $10 for one song. Wow....but the worst part is, this is not the first time I've done that. I did it one other time (it was a samba that I really really needed). What song did I need so bad today that it was worth $10?? What song could I just not live without any longer?? Please click HERE for enlightenment.

Don't judge me. You know you love this song too.

You think i'm kidding.

Once when I was like 12 years old my mom let me take piano lessons. I was super excited for about 2 weeks and then I got bored. I was the oldest student my teacher had and I think she just didn't know how to think outside the box. She just moved to slow-made my go page by page through the baby books- and after a few years I finally quit. I never practiced, I just memorized my songs about 20 min before my lesson and then on to the next- never really LEARNING anything. Piano started taking time away from the rest of my life- I had church callings to fulfill grades to maintain, and money to earn. So piano lessons and I went our separate ways. To be honest I have never really regretted that decision. Its not now, nor will it ever be, a passion of mine. I respect and admire people who play but diversity makes the world great right?!

Because I don't play anything I'm not super great at reading music. I took piano long enough to know the difference between a quarter note and a whole note. I know what a measure is and the time signature. I know how to read dynamics and basically follow along. What I can't do is look at music and tell you what key its written in or what note falls on which line (unless its middle C) and I can't look at a note and sing it right off the page. I have to hear it played and then I usually just memorize pretty quick. But I'm not completely clueless. Where is this going? let me tell you.

So tonight I was at my ward choir practice for our Christmas program. There weren't very many people there and we started 2 new songs I've never heard before. I asked the pianist to play my part a few times and made the mistake of saying "I can't read music" Big mistake. The obnoxious boy- and yes I deliberately use the word boy even though he is at least 21-decided he was going to take that information and show how much smarter he is than me as far as music goes. Seriously, I don't even know this kid's name but I want to punch him in the face every week. He talks incessantly and distracts the rest of the tenors so that the choir director has to repeat herself and it takes twice as long to get through anything. He makes the most irrelevant comments and well, he is basically a train wreck. The sad part is he has a pretty nice voice...he just needs to use it for more singing and less talking.

So tonight, remember this is the first time we've ever heard the song, he starts nit picking about ending words together and what dynamics we should be singing. "is it MF or MP?" "We should be pronouncing it like this blah blah blah"...really kid. The reason we aren't holding it is because we are still figuring out what notes we are supposed to be singing...we haven't even started working on timing and dynamics. Then when he wasn't doing that, he was saying things like, "this is a dumb song. I don't want to sing this. can't we sing a normal Christmas song." so if this wasn't reason enough for a person like me to get irritated and kick him, he starts talking down to me like I'm retarded and have no idea what's going on. Yes, its true, I can't pick a note out of thin air but I'm not totally retarded...I have been taking private lessons for almost two years...I can manage my way through a choir piece without his help! ahh...I might have told him that we didn't need his attitude and that if he didn't have anything positive to say he didn't need to come back next week...he thought I was kidding...but kind of I wasn't. I predict he will be single for a very very long time.

The Gift of Winging it...

Recently my church chior has had a slight overhaul. And by slight I really mean huge. The regulars have mostly moved out and its still in transition of gaining more members. Two weeks ago there were six men and 3 girls. My friend Anna and I took turns singing the melody...because did I mention all 3 of the girls sing alto. Amazing. Anyway, this last sunday we were scheduled to perform and we actually had quite a few people show up for practice. At practice we had probably 10-12 men, 6 sopranos, and 2 altos....plus the pianist who decided to sing with us. NO big deal, I am a belter, I can project. Especially in the alto range where its comfortable and more fun to sing. Well all of a sudden its time to perform. I walk up to the front, get in my place and realize, i'm standing alone in my alto section. where the other girl from practice went I have no idea. I just chuckled to myself, because that's totally my luck. So now we are down and alto and gained another soprano. I calculate this in my head and panic slightly- I had never practiced this way...just how loud does a person have to sing to harmonize with 7 sopranos??? Good questions right...and then what is too loud, because you don't want to not blend??? Good thing i'm blessed with the gift of "winging it" the pianist, in her mercy, sang with me and no one in the audience could tell so all in all it was a success. Although can we please not do that again unless i'm prepared before hand??? yikes.

SUMMERFEST

Here in Utah County every city has its 'days' or a week long summer celebration that includes a parade, a carnival, and for some cities a rodeo. well, this year the Hale Center Theater Orem was asked to give a concert in the park for the orem summerfest. And that included me. Linda Hale called and asked if I would like to sing Gimme Gimme

as part of their presentation. Of course I said yes!!! They let me wear a costume and the coolest hat ever!! The only problem was- the park was packed so I had to park several streets over and walk to the park in said costume. I got several weird looks from people along the way but whatever. I was a little nervous since there were a ton of people in the park but it wasn't too bad. The stage was awesome and there was a set of speakers facing me so I could actually hear myself- which is always a plus. I had SO much fun!!! I would totally do it again- it was an amazing opportunity.

Gorgeous music

North and South has The BEST musical score ever!! Click here to listen. It totally makes me want to play the violin- and really someday I will. I LOVE IT!!

Where have I been??

I really stink at blogging. But let me tell you why. On Monday (of last week) I worked all day. Then Tuesday morning I got my hair done, then I caught a shuttle to the SLC airport. I had a connecting flight through Vegas and once I got to my new gate found out that all of the airlines computers were down and they had to hand write everything. Which meant that my flight to orange county was delayed by an hour. Great. I flew to John Wayne airport, grabbed another shuttle and finally got to my brother's hotel. The next two days I partied in Disneyland- my very favorite place to go. Then Friday at 4:30 am (pacific time) my shuttle picked me up and I caught a 7am flight back to SLC. I managed and hour nap before I got up showered and headed over to pick up my friend Dan and headed down to BYU. Once there I registered for my voice competition and waited. They were behind schedule by 30 min so we waited in the hall. Finally we went in, Dan played and I sang- "now that I've seen her" from miss Saigon and "gimme Gimme" from thoroughly modern Millie. I drove Dan home and waited to hear the results from my voice teacher. He called me about an hour later to tell me I placed first in my division. Which meant it was off to bed. I woke up the next morning, picked up Dan again and headed back down to BYU. I sang just one song in the final round, Gimme Gimme. I won first place! woohoo. Then by the time I got home I was totally sick with the flu- but not the quick 24 hr kind. I spent the next 4 days in bed and then went to work for the next three which leads to today in which I had a hair and make up appointment to prep my sister and my niece for the US continental Pageant. Ok that's where I've been. and my next successive posts will be pictures and greater detail about the things I've just discussed...except for the sick part. I probably won't post pictures about that. :)

Why do I do this?

Well turns out I'm not a very good blogger when life gets crazy and let me tell you it has been crazy as of late. My world has pretty much turned upside down- well maybe not a full 180 but I'd say things have shifted a bit. Mainly just day to day life and things at my house...but lets focus on something positive right now. My show. I say my show but it really isn't my show...I'm only on sage for probably about 3 1/2 minutes but I will still refer to it as my show. As I mentioned before I am in Scera's Night of Broadway and I am having one of the best experiences of my life. I am singing "I can't say No" from Oklahoma-which is not a beautiful song but it is really fun. I also have several friends in the show with me-and I've made a few new friends along the way. It is a little hectic. I come straight from work, get in costume, help my friends with hair and make up and don't get home until about 10:30. So its a long day but I do love it.

And why do I love it? Why do I constantly put myself through this kind of craziness until I'm so tired I want to collapse? I'll tell you why...
Its things like this. This is my sweet tape mark from where the mic tape holds my mic on my face. I get to rock this every night. I simply pull the pony tails out and wear my hair down to cover it for the finale. Once its there- there is no fixing it. Besides the random things that happen I love singing. I love to be on stage- I love to bring a little excitement to others lives. I also love being part of something bigger than myself. I love the rush you get waiting for your turn. I love knowing that I am conquering my fears one performance at a time. I love the conversations I have in the dressing rooms. I love meeting new people. I love learning from others and their experiences. I love to know that I'm growing in new ways. I love to know I am accomplishing my goals. I love to watch other people sharing their talents and growing. I love seeing my friends and family that come to support me. I love the experience I am gaining and I love knowing that someday I won't grow old with a list of regrets for the things I was too afraid to try.

Here I go again...

A few weeks ago I heard about an audition for a show called "night of Broadway". Really its just a bunch of people singing Broadway songs for an audience. I pretty much audition for everything around here but this time I wasn't sure I was going to. I just finished up plaid tidings not too long ago and I didn't want to push my limits at work. The audition was on Saturday from 10-12pm and so I just decided I wouldn't take the day off but if it so happened that it didn't conflict with work I would go. well...low and behold I miraculously got the day off...and it was a miracle because I work retail and hardly ever have a whole Saturday off. So I figured I would just go and see how it went. Well, turns out it went really well and I will be singing in this show- by myself, on stage. AHH I'm freaking out a little bit right now but I'm also way excited!! This will be good for me- talk about stretching your comfort zone.

Day 2- First Love

Ok so I know the idea of the post was to tell everyone about the first time I was ever in love- but truth is i'm still waiting for that to happen. I have never been in love...I have had boyfriends and crushes but if i'd really been in love with any of them we might still be together. So instead I will tell you about my first love in another area of my life....Les Miserables.
When I was 7 years old Les Miserables came to Sacramento and my parents got tickets for everyone but my little brother and I. I thought I didn't care so much but a few weeks before I decided I felt left out and I really did want to go. So my parents- being the amazing people they are got me and my brother a ticket to see the show. So off we went to our first musical theater experience...

Hello amazing!! The songs the stage the props it was all amazing. The characters had depth and emotion and I absolutely fell in love. I didn't want it to end. So I came home and from that day on I listened to the soundtrack. I memorized the words and it became a central part of my life.

Inside one of our closets was an old dress coat and I would put it on and sing "on my own" at the top of my lungs and dream of being on stage as Eponine some day. That's still the goal but for now I am content to just watch it from the main floor every chance I get. I LOVE this play and I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to it.

Christmas Bells are Ringing...

Well, its almost that time of year again!! What better to get into the holiday spirit than going to see a show. There are two shows to see...this one at the Scera and A Christmas Carol at the Hale. Both are a really great way to get into the holiday spirit!!

Watch what you will...

So I'm really really tired of people telling me I "NEED to watch Glee". Yes, I do like singing and musical theater- but I do not like trash. Seriously people, I don't tell you what to watch or not to watch so please stop! I don't watch a lot of TV because even the "best" shows are filled with vulgar things. Let me put it this way, if there were a $5 bill in a pile of dog poo I would not dig though the poo to get it. So yes your favorite show "Glee" or whatever show it may be may have something great about it- the singing, a great actor, etc- but to me that $5 value is not worth what I would have to submerge myself in to get it. So watch what you will- but please don't bug me because I don't.

All Alone with our thoughts

I went to education week this last week at BYU and so many good things happened its not even funny...but the first thing I'm going to mention is I learned something about myself from watching other people. I learned how grateful I am for my years at college because they taught me more than just political science and ballroom dance. They taught me that I can be alone and hold my head up. There is no law that says "if you are alone you must look down" There is no shame in being alone with your thoughts. My parents were at education week but I went my own way- I like to go alone because then you have the freedom to choose any class you like and you can think about the message of the class without being interrupted by someone's chatter. As I sat alone in the classroom watching these women filter in, so many of them just looked a little frantic and uncomfortable. If they were alone, they were searching for someone else, or they were on their phone- as if to tell the world that even though they were physically alone they had friends. So many people are uncomfortable being alone and that makes me sad. I LOVE being alone sometimes. I spent a week on campus with my own thoughts and no one to distract me and I am so grateful that I am confident enough in myself to have had that opportunity. Thank you Mom and Dad for sending me away to college where I knew no one!! Its OK to be alone sometimes, enjoy it!