What do you love?

wow, two posts in one day...but I'm thinking right now and I'm not sure that will continue over until tomorrow. Last week our corporate offices sent out some rubber wrist bands...you know the ones that come in different colors and have slogans on them. Anyway...Not sure how many people know this but Gap was founded by Don and Dorris Fisher in 1969 (which is why all of our jeans say 1969 on the tag- that is not a distinguishing feature as many people like to think). Well, he was noted for saying "do what you love" and that is the phrase that was printed on this bracelet. We had a visit today from our regional director so I put the bracelet on-even though I HATE things on my wrists- and I wore it all day. On my way home it was bugging me and at a stoplight I stopped to read it again. "do what you love" and I started thinking...what do I love to do??

I love to sing. I love musical theater. I love genealogy. I love to read. I love to dance. I love to have long talks with good friends. I love to meet new people. I love to people watch. I love to solve problems. I love to learn. I love the temple. I love the gospel. I love pictures. I love to scrapbook. I love stained glass. I love history. I love philosophy and psychology. I love Disneyland. I love airplanes. I love to take ugly pictures. I love to laugh. I love to dress up. I love to just be silly. I love to make people smile. I love to write. I love to help people. I love so many things- and I don't make time for hardly any of them anymore. Life is too short not to enjoy. You are right Don, I need to make more time to do what I LOVE!!

Education is NOT the enemy

Here is my stance on education. I think everyone should get as much of an education as they can. When you are done with your formal education I believe you should continue to read and educate yourself for the rest of your life, in all areas. I love to learn, and anyone who knows me or has followed my blog from the beginning knows that...I have a BA in political science, a minor in ballroom dance, a cosmetology license, and I want to get a law degree and an MBA...now here is my point.

My wanting to further educate myself does not mean I am a "man hating liberal feminist". In fact I don't even see a connection with my level of education and my feelings toward the opposite gender. Oh wait, that's because there isn't one. I happen to think a lot of men are fabulous! However, that does not mean I am going to sit around and let my brain rot while I wait for one to sweep me off my feet. I am perfectly capable of thinking and acting for myself...I don't NEED someone else to take care of me. Does that mean I never WANT someone to...no, it doesn't. But until I find that person who is perfectly imperfect I will keep learning and moving forward.

A woman after my own heart once said, "I will never LOVE a man because I NEED him, but I will NEED a man because I LOVE him" and if I choose not to need or love you...its not because of my education or because I'm too independent...perhaps the problem is with you. Perhaps YOU are just not as great of a catch as you imagine yourself to be.

Happiness all around

What is my favorite part about the Magic Kingdom?? I could never pick just one thing. I absolutely LOVE Disneyland. The rides, the Churros, the characters, being with family (my sister and two brothers came this time), the weather, the way too expensive souvenirs (but really can you put a price on happy Disney things??) and just the feeling you get being in a place where everyone is smiling 98% of the time. how can you not love that?! Every time I go I learn something vital to making the next trip even better...such as: if you ride woody just before world of color the line is SUPER short.

Now, world of color....AMAZING! I may or may not have cried. It was incredible I would totally recommend it to anyone. My niece Karra was over stimulated from all the excitement of the day and would not sleep- and who can blame her- Disney magic all around. I was holding her during world of color and the scene playing was Aladdin's "a whole new world". Karra loves singing and I love Disney songs. So naturally-I started singing to her. She slowly moved in closer and closer so she could hear me....

And then.......

She fell asleep on my head. I'm not mad in this picture I am just trying to balance dead weight on my head while not laughing at the whole situation. So stinking cute. I can honestly say this is the first time anyone has used my head as a pillow. Glad I could be of service.

This handsome dude is the proud papa of sleeping beauty. My studly brother. So fun to have him and Emily with us this time around. As you know if you've been to Disneyland recently, Indiana Jones is always one of the longest lines- so that is always the ride I manage to take pictures on. Anyway he's a goofball and I loved having them with us!!

The Kids! In front of Monsters Inc. I look so short- I'm not sure if my nieces are just tall or if the door is just dwarfing me- either way I'm not totally sure I'm comfortable with it.

The bears were some of Karra's first character and boy did she love them. We almost didn't get any pictures because she wouldn't face forward. All she wanted to do was touch the bears! And can you blame her- I mean they are pretty awesome!

All in all my trip was pretty amazing. My feet were dead as usual after a Disneyland trip- Miles of walking and I had a serious lack of sleep but it was totally worth it!! As I stood on Disney main street I was more sure than ever that some day I have to work for Disney. Either as a performer or when I have my MBA- who wouldn't want to work in the happiest place on earth- a place where people are usually genuinely happy to be there and totally OK spending their money. Man Walt- you were one smart guy and I admire your vision and ability to make dreams come true.

Day 5- Love

"To love another person is to see the face of God"

Les Miserables

What is Love. The generic definition is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" but I don't think that really sums it up. Love has so many definitions in so many different situations. But I think that to love is to be God like, because true love requires selfless giving of yourself to another. In any situation, to love another requires you to give your time, your talents, your heart, etc....you cannot experience love if you think first of yourself.

I believe this is true in any relationship. Marriage, friendship, family. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "you hold the key to my heart" I don't believe that...no one else can hold that key. It is something you alone can hold. We all hold the keys to our own heart- we choose when it is open or locked.

I'm not sure I can tell you in my own words what love is so I am going to share my favorite quotes about love from some really smart people:

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person"

Margaret Anderson

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you"

Roy Croft

"the only true gift is a portion of yourself"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own"

Robert Heinlein

"The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite"

William Shakespeare

"Love is friendship set on fire"

Jeremy Taylor

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love"

Erich Fromm

"you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly"

Sam Keen

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return"

Antonie de saint-Exupery

"true love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart"

Honore de Blazac

"if you know what love is, its because of you"

Herman Hesse

"one word frees us of all weight and pain in life. That word is love"

Sophocles

"there is no remedy for love but to love more"

Henry David Thoreau

To love is to see others through God's eyes. To accept someone for who they are as they are. Love is to serve with all our heart and to forgive when we are wronged. To love- one must give.

Day 2- First Love

Ok so I know the idea of the post was to tell everyone about the first time I was ever in love- but truth is i'm still waiting for that to happen. I have never been in love...I have had boyfriends and crushes but if i'd really been in love with any of them we might still be together. So instead I will tell you about my first love in another area of my life....Les Miserables.
When I was 7 years old Les Miserables came to Sacramento and my parents got tickets for everyone but my little brother and I. I thought I didn't care so much but a few weeks before I decided I felt left out and I really did want to go. So my parents- being the amazing people they are got me and my brother a ticket to see the show. So off we went to our first musical theater experience...

Hello amazing!! The songs the stage the props it was all amazing. The characters had depth and emotion and I absolutely fell in love. I didn't want it to end. So I came home and from that day on I listened to the soundtrack. I memorized the words and it became a central part of my life.

Inside one of our closets was an old dress coat and I would put it on and sing "on my own" at the top of my lungs and dream of being on stage as Eponine some day. That's still the goal but for now I am content to just watch it from the main floor every chance I get. I LOVE this play and I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to it.

Amazing...

So I was checking out my friends blogs and I stopped over at my friend megan's blog and she had this post titled "I want to know love like this some day" and it caught my interest so I clicked on the little video and i'm not even kidding by the end of the short cartoon I was bawling. Not just a little teary eyed but my cheeks were literally wet. Its a cartoon but the voices are of real people and it is one of the most touching stories i've ever heard...and I agree with Megan, some day I want to know love like that...

If you'd like to watch the video just go to web address:

http://vimeo.com/12562270 its about 6 min long and totally worth every second!

Tis the season...

Yes it is that time of the year where wedding businesses in Utah thrive. Summer is the time to get married and for some reason I seem to get invited to a ton of them. Especially lately. For the month of August alone I've had 2 bridal showers and five weddings and the month is not over yet. Anyway, that being said I usually feel some mixture of happy and sad. Happy because I love this person and you can see the happiness and joy in their face. They are usually glowing and I love that. And then I usually feel a little sad because 1. I'll admit I'm slightly jealous and 2. and probably the larger reason is I know our friendship will change. This person will not be part of my life as they once were. Someone has taken my place-and that's normal and how it should be but change is still hard. Its selfish, I know, but part of me can't help it.

But last night I attended a wedding that made me sad for an entirely different reason. This time selfishness was not the driving force for my feelings. The groom happened to be my little brother's best friend. A guy who has been around the family for about 2 decades. Like most people, his choices have not always been stellar or lead him down the easiest roads. He has gone through some hard times and over the last few years has really been trying to straighten things out. Which is great because we all love this kid! And last night he chose to marry a girl with a pretty black reputation, who has some substance abuse problems and dresses a little like a street walker. As a side note, I will say that even after attending the wedding I STILL have not actually met her- she didn't talk to anyone but her friends which was a little tacky- That being said, all my comments about her are strictly based on my impressions and others accounts of her character. And I am a firm believer that people can change- but only if they want to. who knows, maybe someday she will be a great person.
Anyway, as I sat listening to the two exchange vows I wanted to jump up and tell them to stop. I watched him as he told her he loved her and would take care of her forever. And I could tell that he cares about her but he still wasn't glowing. And I couldn't help but feel sad because he can't have her forever. Even if he wanted her that long, it can only last until death. Having attended several sealings in the temple- something was missing last night and my heart ached because of it. I think part of him knew it as well...he just doesn't realize how much better things could have been and it breaks my heart. I watched the two of them for the remainder of the reception. Except for pictures and the standard wedding program items the two of them were not really together. They went their separate ways and talked to their separate friends. There was no glow around them that usually makes me sick about a bride and groom- and I never thought I'd say this but I missed it. I like to see couples so in love they make me sick. But last night I was sick for a different reason...because someone I love gave up something incredible for something temporary.
I know that I want something more. I want to feel what was missing last night. I want a man who loves me enough to make it forever. I don't want to do things half way. I want it all or I don't want anything.