Dumpster Diving

If you want to see some strange things just spend a little time at the mall.  Yesterday on my way to my car...actually, let me back up a bit.  A few days ago the boutique white house black market closed at my mall.  Because of this there is a huge dumpster in the parking lot for them to toss all their junk in.  now, back to last night.  I am walking out to my car and I see a girl climb up and look into the dumpster.  She then gets down and they boy she is with climbs up and into the dumpster.  Sick.  I immediately start thinking of all the nasty germs.  And I maybe started quoting 'Better Off Dead' to myself. "Its a shame folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy."

So this boy is in the dumpster and he starts handing down half forms. (mannequins that are made of fabric with no head and no limbs.)  By the time I got close she had put 3 in her car.  He must have asked her the question I was thinking, "what are you going to do with these?"  because I heard her say, "you know.  You can  decorate them...and like put them in your house and stuff." 

We have a hoarder in the making folks.  What kind of person decorates their house with mannequins?  She probably saw it on pinterest.  How would you decorate a mannequin anyway?  Also gross.  They are fabric so they can't really be washed and here is a fact:  Just because the dumpster is currently filled with life size dolls and cardboard does not mean that is what was in it last time it was full.  They do not sanitize those before they rent them to the next person.  So who knows what germs are now nicely embedded in your new 'decorations'.  I'm sorry.  I just think it's weird.

You Look Like a Real Prince but...

I read one of my favorite books tonight.  I think I've mentioned it before.  The Paper Bag Princess.  It's a children's book.  But not really.  Yes, children will be entertained by it but the message is for adults as well. 

The story line is as follows,  A fire breathing dragon burns down her castle and steals her fiance away.  She is left with nothing but ashes and an old paper bag.  After donning the bag she follows the dragon, outsmarts him, and saves her fiance.  This is how the book ends:

He looked at her and said, "Elizabeth, you are a mess!  you smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag.  Come back when you are dressed like a real princess."

"Ronald," said Elizabeth, "your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat.  You look like a real prince, but you are a bum."  They didn't get married after all.

why do I love this book with it's non traditional happy ending? Because she dodges a bullet.  To think, she almost married that bum.  That shallow man who didn't appreciate her brains, her determination, and her commitment.  In the first place- Ronald should have been attempting to save himself.  Second, he should have loved her not in spite of her haggard appearance but because of it.  So kudos to you Elizabeth.  Go use your life loving skills to find a real prince who can see past your paper bag.  ;)

I Can't Get No...Satisfaction.

Do you ever get cravings for things? And no, I am not talking about food.  Like for example, the other day I was leaving work and as I walked through the parking lot a jet flew over my head.  I suddenly had a very strong craving to get on a plane and go somewhere.  This morning I got a craving to be in school.  Law school to be exact.  Other things I crave, rodeos, shooting, Disneyland, dancing....sometimes I just have insuperable cravings for big expensive, impractical, or impulsive things.  I suppose that these unfulfilled cravings make me a better person...right?  Please say yes. 

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Tonight I went out with my girls.  Rules for tonight no boys and everyone has to dress in something that makes them feel great. The plan for tonight?  Dinner and drinks afterward.  Secretly I was hoping, as I always do when I enter main stream Provo on date night, that I will get some really good material for this blog.  Well I guess wishes come true because I got something- But not in the way I had hoped.

Two things about me and restaurants: 

1. working retail myself, I am generally pretty patient with my servers.  I don't expect a lot.  I just want to be acknowledged.  If you are busy- tell me.  Just let me know that I have not been forgotten.

2.  If I am not ordering very much I usually tip even better because I know you pay your bills with tips.  Instead of the standard 15-20% I will usually pay more like 75-150%...depending on what my bill is. 

Now with that in mind I am going to tell you that tonight I had the worst customer experience at a restaurant EVER.  After being at the Olive Garden for two hours tonight (our server was newish- nice but not really great with efficiency) my friends and I drove half an hour south to a restaurant in downtown Provo called Spark restaurant.  It's been open a couple of years and I have wanted to go for awhile.   

When we got there I was a little let down because it wasn't at all what I was expecting but the Host was super nice and really attentive.  He continued to check back with us and let us know he was still working on getting our table.  Which was fine.  It's Friday night and we expected a little bit of a wait.  After about 20 minutes he sat us at a table and then our server came. 

She took our order and was a little bugged that we were only ordering drinks.  When she brought our drinks, she asked if we wanted anything else.  We told her no we were good for now.  The next 30 min or so were great.  We laughed and tried each other's drinks- it was exactly what it should have been.  Until we all finished our drinks.  I had kind of been thinking that I wanted to try a different one but after about 20 minutes of watching our server on the other side of the restaurant or flirting with the other server I decided it wasn't worth the wait for her to come back.  At this point we all decided we were ready to leave.  We sat at our table for about 20 minutes when "her boyfriend" server, probably seeing my annoyed face, came to ask if we needed anything.  My friend responded without pause that we'd like our check.  He asked how we'd like it and brought us our checks.  We each paid in cash thinking that would speed things up but I needed change.  There was NO WAY on this earth that I was giving her a $6 tip for a $3 drink.  I might have if she'd been really good- but she wasn't even mediocre. 

Another ten minutes went by and still no one had come to get our money.  Behind the bar were two employees and the "boyfriend" server who brought our checks.  I picked up all our checks and took them over.  I spoke to him, rather calmly actually- it wasn't his fault our server sucked, and told him I just needed a $5 bill.  "No one else wanted change and we had a bit of a drive to go home.  I am and have been ready to leave for over 20 minutes."  Instead of just helping me or asking the host to help (which is who I should have gone to in the first place) he took them over to our server.  Who again left us waiting for another 10 minutes!  Who stays at a restaurant for an hour and a half for ONE drink when all the tables aren't full and have not been all night?? 

Nothing ruins an experience like having to stay after the fun has ended.  When she finally did come back, she not very sincerely said, "sorry about the wait".  That would have worked about 20 minutes ago- but since you haven't been back to our table in at least 40 minutes it just isn't cutting it.  Not only did your lack of attention lower sales since myself and another friend both opted NOT to order another drink, but you also lowered your tip significantly- by the time we were ready to pay we were all so over you. When you first came to the table your exact words were, "I am going to take care of you tonight".  Well you are a Liar.  You barely acknowledged our existence. And YOU made my first trip to Spark Restaurant my last.  The drinks were not great and the service was even worse.  Not worth the gas it took to drive there. 

Dear snotty pants server- you have a job because people come to your restaurant.  If you ignore us because you don't think we are spending enough we will not come back.  Repeat customers are your best job security.  If I have a good experience I tell two or three people.  When I have a negative experience I post it on my public blog for the world to see.  So...did I get blog material tonight? yes...along with a horrible experience.  Guess I should be more careful about what I wish for.