"You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go"(Dr.Seuss) Decide where you want to go, or life will decide for you...
Monday, April 11, 2011
A whole new level...
Some people have too much time on their hands. There is a guy I know who really gives his best effort at being a creeper. I don't know why you would want to be known for that but he really is great at it. Anyway, its kind of a joke I think he likes to get a reaction out of people and boy is he getting one from me tonight. I get an anonymous tip to look at this guys profile tonight- weird but OK. I go to his facebook page and what do I see- I see that he is in a relationship with ME. only he's not. I sit there for a minute thinking "what the? how did he access my page" because don't you worry the profile picture is the same. the education info, all my interests and likes are the same...this took some time. He created a page under my name with my info, friend-ed that person, and then accepted a relationship request between him and this alternate ME. But the best part is- he then comments as "me" on his status saying how much "I" love him....WHO does that?? I know he probably thinks he's super funny- and truth be told if it was someone else I would probably be wetting myself with laughter right now but as funny as it is...it is also really really creepy. I think more people need to find hobbies so they do not have time to be psycho. I am truly disturbed- he has taken his creeper-ness to a whole new level.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
He's looking at me...
OK teenagers are so funny. I'm sitting at the table listening to my niece talk and She tells me a story about a boy in her class named...Spencer, I think. Anyway she says, "I saw from the corner of my eye that he was looking at me through the corner of his eye"...and then she starts to explain how he's been looking at her through the "super corner of his eye" wait wait wait...I must be too old to understand these terms...what is a super corner? She explained to me, her decrepit feeble aunt, that a SUPER corner is looking as far as you can to the side without turning your head. (The picture above is a demonstration of my nephew doing the "super corner" stare.)
Go ahead and try it. There is a huge difference between the corner and the super corner. I wouldn't have realized it before because everyone uses the corner of their eye but only creepers use the super corner. In order to look out the super corner of your eye your face has to be somewhat distorted and creepy. There really isn't a need for the super corner in normal life. I caution you to use this technique sparingly- only in times of dire necessity.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Who am I to judge?
Today I want to write a serious blog- because I've been doing a lot of thinking the last week. Last Sunday I was sitting in church, by a friend of mine, and the thought came to me that she is more than I realized. I mean, she's my friend so I think she's great but it really hit me that she is a child of God with promised blessings and a purpose in life. Then I realized the same was true for everyone around me....and yes I've known this my whole life but I don't always give it the consideration and respect it deserves. Most of the time I am just impatient because people aren't doing or saying what I think they should. I admit I am not perfect and sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one on this earth trying to accomplish something and be a better person. Then last night my mom and I were watching a show called "who do you think you are". its a show about celebrities who find their genealogical roots and stories. Anyway, last nights episode was Gwenyth Paltrow and she was researching her great grandmother because her grandfather and family had said horrible things about her. Anyway, through the course of her research she discovered that her great grandmother, who had once been ambitious- had been kicked out of college the same year her mother and brother had died of illness. Then she married and her 3 yr old girl was run over by a wagon just 3 weeks before she delivered another baby- The woman was probably suffering from depression and her family didn't understand and resented her their whole lives. Why do I tell you this? because I think we all do that to some extent- we are too quick to judge those around us without knowing the circumstances that make us each who we are. We sit back, without any knowledge of an other's trials or maybe we think we do know and understand everything (but we probably don't since we can never feel what another feels) and conclude that they are mean spirited, arrogant, unforgiving, weird, a hermit, etc....when perhaps we should just be kind and reserve judgment. In this particular case- two generations were submerged in bitterness and resentment because no one bothered to look a little deeper- they were too focused on their own wounds to consider that someone else may be hurting as well. Then tonight my niece played the video of Susan Boyle singing "I dreamed a dream" click here I've seen it before but in light of my thoughts this week I was touched by it again. No one expected her to sing well because she wasn't a beautiful woman and yet- the talent she had inside of her was incredible. I know this is sappy but I really am amazed by the talents the people in my life posses- and I'm not just talking about performance talents- I'm also talking about the talent of patience, to love others, to withhold judgement, the talent for listening and understanding others. I am talking about the talent for sharing the gospel and speaking with the spirit I am talking about all those talents which are so often overlooked by the world. I have been overwhelmed this week by the worth of those around me and so grateful that they have been placed as examples in my life. I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ- that when I do fall short and pass judgement too quickly on others I can be forgiven, that each of us can through that atonement rise again and continue on our path to become someone great- maybe not in the eyes of the world- but in the eyes of God and all those whose lives we touch and improve. I pray that each of us remembers who we are- beloved children of God. A God who knows us each by name and cares what we become. I pray that after we remember who we are- that we will also remember the same about the people around us. "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" - that includes strangers, friends, family, and ourselves.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Captain Creeper
so ya'll know that I work at the mall. I am not a shopper so I usually walk into my store, work my shift, and walk back out without looking at anyone or anything. Well today was different. Today I had a gift certificate in my wallet for another store in the mall and I had an hour and a half until my voice lesson. So shopping I went. (if you consider a music store and bath and body works shopping) Anyway, outside my store is a kiosk that sells something...I never have really noticed what. There is a girl who works there and I think her boyfriend works somewhere in the mall- at least I hope he does because he's there all the time. well a few weeks ago - the first time I really noticed the couple- I was opening the gates to my store and they were sucking face. seriously people I thought he was going to swallow her tongue. gross. Since then I see him everyday. He comes and visits her at work- which at the kiosk there is no manager to object. Anyway- so today- I left work on my way to the music store and the face sucking hormone was sitting on a bench next to the kiosk staring and winking at his girlfriend. no big deal right....maybe he's picking her up because she's off soon. well and hour and a half later when i'm leaving the mall to go to my voice lesson, senior slobber face is STILL on the bench. Same bench- still making wink faces at the girl. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! that is just creepy. I don't care if you are dating. to sit and watch someone work for over and hour is a bit obsessive and says to me that this is an unhealthy relationship. Heaven help them if things don't work out- I have a hunch it will be a really messy break up. But captain creeper just weirds me out...maybe she will get fired and they can take their lusty liason and park it outside someone else's store.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Pageant winners
Well last night was the Miss/Ms/Mrs. Utah US Continental pageant. My sister and my niece both entered. And BOTH won!!! They looked beautiful....also I did their hair and make up! I had a great canvas to work with and their confidence showed!!!
My parents with their beautiful daughter and granddaughter.
Me and Shelby after the crowning.
Group shot...Taylor had to get his pretty face in the background. So much fun! Me and Taylor were the loudest cheering section in the room!!! we may have annoyed a few people in our enthusiasm.

The reigning 2010 royalty with the new 2011 winners. The Mrs. didn't quite make it into the shot- I think she was still adjusting to the news.
The reigning 2010 royalty with the new 2011 winners. The Mrs. didn't quite make it into the shot- I think she was still adjusting to the news.
Congratulations Ladies!!! you were awesome!!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Happiness all around
What is my favorite part about the Magic Kingdom?? I could never pick just one thing. I absolutely LOVE Disneyland. The rides, the Churros, the characters, being with family (my sister and two brothers came this time), the weather, the way too expensive souvenirs (but really can you put a price on happy Disney things??) and just the feeling you get being in a place where everyone is smiling 98% of the time. how can you not love that?! Every time I go I learn something vital to making the next trip even better...such as: if you ride woody just before world of color the line is SUPER short.
Now, world of color....AMAZING! I may or may not have cried. It was incredible I would totally recommend it to anyone. My niece Karra was over stimulated from all the excitement of the day and would not sleep- and who can blame her- Disney magic all around. I was holding her during world of color and the scene playing was Aladdin's "a whole new world". Karra loves singing and I love Disney songs. So naturally-I started singing to her. She slowly moved in closer and closer so she could hear me....
This handsome dude is the proud papa of sleeping beauty. My studly brother. So fun to have him and Emily with us this time around. As you know if you've been to Disneyland recently, Indiana Jones is always one of the longest lines- so that is always the ride I manage to take pictures on. Anyway he's a goofball and I loved having them with us!!

The Kids! In front of Monsters Inc. I look so short- I'm not sure if my nieces are just tall or if the door is just dwarfing me- either way I'm not totally sure I'm comfortable with it.

The bears were some of Karra's first character and boy did she love them. We almost didn't get any pictures because she wouldn't face forward. All she wanted to do was touch the bears! And can you blame her- I mean they are pretty awesome!
All in all my trip was pretty amazing. My feet were dead as usual after a Disneyland trip- Miles of walking and I had a serious lack of sleep but it was totally worth it!! As I stood on Disney main street I was more sure than ever that some day I have to work for Disney. Either as a performer or when I have my MBA- who wouldn't want to work in the happiest place on earth- a place where people are usually genuinely happy to be there and totally OK spending their money. Man Walt- you were one smart guy and I admire your vision and ability to make dreams come true.
The Kids! In front of Monsters Inc. I look so short- I'm not sure if my nieces are just tall or if the door is just dwarfing me- either way I'm not totally sure I'm comfortable with it.
The bears were some of Karra's first character and boy did she love them. We almost didn't get any pictures because she wouldn't face forward. All she wanted to do was touch the bears! And can you blame her- I mean they are pretty awesome!
Where have I been??
I really stink at blogging. But let me tell you why. On Monday (of last week) I worked all day. Then Tuesday morning I got my hair done, then I caught a shuttle to the SLC airport. I had a connecting flight through Vegas and once I got to my new gate found out that all of the airlines computers were down and they had to hand write everything. Which meant that my flight to orange county was delayed by an hour. Great. I flew to John Wayne airport, grabbed another shuttle and finally got to my brother's hotel. The next two days I partied in Disneyland- my very favorite place to go. Then Friday at 4:30 am (pacific time) my shuttle picked me up and I caught a 7am flight back to SLC. I managed and hour nap before I got up showered and headed over to pick up my friend Dan and headed down to BYU. Once there I registered for my voice competition and waited. They were behind schedule by 30 min so we waited in the hall. Finally we went in, Dan played and I sang- "now that I've seen her" from miss Saigon and "gimme Gimme" from thoroughly modern Millie. I drove Dan home and waited to hear the results from my voice teacher. He called me about an hour later to tell me I placed first in my division. Which meant it was off to bed. I woke up the next morning, picked up Dan again and headed back down to BYU. I sang just one song in the final round, Gimme Gimme. I won first place! woohoo. Then by the time I got home I was totally sick with the flu- but not the quick 24 hr kind. I spent the next 4 days in bed and then went to work for the next three which leads to today in which I had a hair and make up appointment to prep my sister and my niece for the US continental Pageant. Ok that's where I've been. and my next successive posts will be pictures and greater detail about the things I've just discussed...except for the sick part. I probably won't post pictures about that. :)
Labels:
Family,
Music and Theater,
Random thoughts of mine
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Just make it better...

Yes. this is a picture of a walker. I'm sure you've all seen these around...but you have probably seen them with a yellow tennis ball on the back two legs. I saw one at the mall yesterday which is the reason for this post. NO- I am not going to relate it to something spiritual or life changing. I'm just going to pose a question. If these things have to have tennis balls on the back why don't they just make them with something similar? instead you have to buy the walker at full price and then being old you naturally have a lot of energy and mobility to then go to walmart and purchase a pack of tennis balls, go home and with your super human strength and probably arthritic hands-cut a hole in two of those balls and attach them to the rear legs. Makes perfect sense. I mean really, you'd think someone after all these years would just improve the product. whatever. someday when I get a walker of my own I may understand more fully this concept but for now I am baffled.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Why do I do this?
And why do I love it? Why do I constantly put myself through this kind of craziness until I'm so tired I want to collapse? I'll tell you why...
Its things like this. This is my sweet tape mark from where the mic tape holds my mic on my face. I get to rock this every night. I simply pull the pony tails out and wear my hair down to cover it for the finale. Once its there- there is no fixing it. Besides the random things that happen I love singing. I love to be on stage- I love to bring a little excitement to others lives. I also love being part of something bigger than myself. I love the rush you get waiting for your turn. I love knowing that I am conquering my fears one performance at a time. I love the conversations I have in the dressing rooms. I love meeting new people. I love learning from others and their experiences. I love to know that I'm growing in new ways. I love to know I am accomplishing my goals. I love to watch other people sharing their talents and growing. I love seeing my friends and family that come to support me. I love the experience I am gaining and I love knowing that someday I won't grow old with a list of regrets for the things I was too afraid to try.
Its things like this. This is my sweet tape mark from where the mic tape holds my mic on my face. I get to rock this every night. I simply pull the pony tails out and wear my hair down to cover it for the finale. Once its there- there is no fixing it. Besides the random things that happen I love singing. I love to be on stage- I love to bring a little excitement to others lives. I also love being part of something bigger than myself. I love the rush you get waiting for your turn. I love knowing that I am conquering my fears one performance at a time. I love the conversations I have in the dressing rooms. I love meeting new people. I love learning from others and their experiences. I love to know that I'm growing in new ways. I love to know I am accomplishing my goals. I love to watch other people sharing their talents and growing. I love seeing my friends and family that come to support me. I love the experience I am gaining and I love knowing that someday I won't grow old with a list of regrets for the things I was too afraid to try.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Ick!
I know I already posted today but I have to get this out while it is fresh on my mind...or in my mouth rather... let me back up
I have really great teeth- but not so great gums. I used to like the dentist- and then I stopped going because Every time I go I have to have this discussion:
Hygienist: Are you sure you are flossing everyday??
Me: yes I am sure.
Hygienist: Are you flossing the right way?
Me: yes (I think to myself- how many ways are there to floss really??!)
Hygienist: It really doesn't look like you are flossing daily.
Me: I do. If I didn't there would be plaque on my teeth, which there isn't.
Hygienist: That's true. I guess there must be another reason (she says half in disbelief)
basically I get really sick of it. for heaven's sake I am not 12 yrs old. Anyway, because of this gum issue the dentist prescribed me a medicated mouth wash and told me to use it morning and night for a week to two weeks. No big deal right? WRONG. This stuff tastes worse than anything I have ever tasted. The night time rinse ruins my breakfast in the morning and the morning one ruins my food all day- that's how strong this stuff is!! Imagine if you will what it would taste like if you licked a hospital floor....that is what I'm tasting right now!!! it is horrible!!!
I have really great teeth- but not so great gums. I used to like the dentist- and then I stopped going because Every time I go I have to have this discussion:
Hygienist: Are you sure you are flossing everyday??
Me: yes I am sure.
Hygienist: Are you flossing the right way?
Me: yes (I think to myself- how many ways are there to floss really??!)
Hygienist: It really doesn't look like you are flossing daily.
Me: I do. If I didn't there would be plaque on my teeth, which there isn't.
Hygienist: That's true. I guess there must be another reason (she says half in disbelief)
basically I get really sick of it. for heaven's sake I am not 12 yrs old. Anyway, because of this gum issue the dentist prescribed me a medicated mouth wash and told me to use it morning and night for a week to two weeks. No big deal right? WRONG. This stuff tastes worse than anything I have ever tasted. The night time rinse ruins my breakfast in the morning and the morning one ruins my food all day- that's how strong this stuff is!! Imagine if you will what it would taste like if you licked a hospital floor....that is what I'm tasting right now!!! it is horrible!!!
Here I go again...
A few weeks ago I heard about an audition for a show called "night of Broadway". Really its just a bunch of people singing Broadway songs for an audience. I pretty much audition for everything around here but this time I wasn't sure I was going to. I just finished up plaid tidings not too long ago and I didn't want to push my limits at work. The audition was on Saturday from 10-12pm and so I just decided I wouldn't take the day off but if it so happened that it didn't conflict with work I would go. well...low and behold I miraculously got the day off...and it was a miracle because I work retail and hardly ever have a whole Saturday off. So I figured I would just go and see how it went. Well, turns out it went really well and I will be singing in this show- by myself, on stage. AHH I'm freaking out a little bit right now but I'm also way excited!! This will be good for me- talk about stretching your comfort zone.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I can't play the game...
I am a people watcher. I especially like to watch people on dates. Maybe because I'm not good at dating- who knows. well actually I am OK at dating- I'm a fun date. I am just not good at playing the game of catching a man. Let me explain with a little example. Last weekend I went to a movie with some of my girlfriends and afterward we went to get hot chocolate at this cute little shop called "the chocolate". Its a cute old house that's been turned into a dessert cafe. Anyway, we were sitting at a table just discussing things when a couple across the room caught my eye. Let me describe the scene....
Boy faces girl. He is chowing down on his cookie ice cream brownie combination (which is delicious). Girl takes a tiny bite of her huge chocolate cake (that costs way more than its worth) then sits and sucks on her spoon for several minutes while she smiles and gives him the eye. boy continues to talk and stuff his face- and why shouldn't he- he spent good money on this stuff. This pattern continues for about 15 min. The boy has almost finished his dessert and she still has only nibbled on her cake. Boy gets up to get a drink- girl eats a few quick bites, chews fast and then when he sits down- sucks on her spoon again. Perhaps to draw attention to her mouth. who knows- like I said I'm not good at this game so this is all just speculation. Boy finishes his dessert and excuses himself to use the restroom. Girl digs into her cake- shoves almost half her cake into her mouth in a bite or two. Boy comes out- she smiles sweetly and they get up and leave.
WHAT THE?!?!?! what is that??? why can't she eat her cake in front of him. If she didn't want it why have him spend money on it? I assume he's smart enough to realize that her spoon can not taste better than the cake. I'm too practical to play the dating game successfully. I probably should have been taking notes- this girl is obviously a pro but I just have too much self respect to sit and twirl my spoon around in my mouth while someone talks to me. What was she thinking?! what was HE thinking?! I would have loved to climb into his head and hear his thoughts on this girl. I just don't understand why guys find that kind of behavior attractive. I think its deceitful. She acted dainty and ladylike in front of him and as soon as he left the room- she shoveled her cake in like she hadn't eaten in months! I'm more a fan of "what you see is what you get" -I can't play coy so I guess I'll never be good at dating. But I am OK with that.
Boy faces girl. He is chowing down on his cookie ice cream brownie combination (which is delicious). Girl takes a tiny bite of her huge chocolate cake (that costs way more than its worth) then sits and sucks on her spoon for several minutes while she smiles and gives him the eye. boy continues to talk and stuff his face- and why shouldn't he- he spent good money on this stuff. This pattern continues for about 15 min. The boy has almost finished his dessert and she still has only nibbled on her cake. Boy gets up to get a drink- girl eats a few quick bites, chews fast and then when he sits down- sucks on her spoon again. Perhaps to draw attention to her mouth. who knows- like I said I'm not good at this game so this is all just speculation. Boy finishes his dessert and excuses himself to use the restroom. Girl digs into her cake- shoves almost half her cake into her mouth in a bite or two. Boy comes out- she smiles sweetly and they get up and leave.
WHAT THE?!?!?! what is that??? why can't she eat her cake in front of him. If she didn't want it why have him spend money on it? I assume he's smart enough to realize that her spoon can not taste better than the cake. I'm too practical to play the dating game successfully. I probably should have been taking notes- this girl is obviously a pro but I just have too much self respect to sit and twirl my spoon around in my mouth while someone talks to me. What was she thinking?! what was HE thinking?! I would have loved to climb into his head and hear his thoughts on this girl. I just don't understand why guys find that kind of behavior attractive. I think its deceitful. She acted dainty and ladylike in front of him and as soon as he left the room- she shoveled her cake in like she hadn't eaten in months! I'm more a fan of "what you see is what you get" -I can't play coy so I guess I'll never be good at dating. But I am OK with that.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
LAME
OK I looked at the rest of the list for the blog topics and I've decided to jump ship...they are kind of lame and I think I need to blog about what I want to blog about- I don't like following a cheesy predetermined list. So I'm going back to my random rantings. Goodbye 30 posts in 30 days.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Day 7- My Best Friend
Let me tell you about me and my friends. Most of my friends are my best friends. I don't do things half way. Who my best friend is depends on which part of my life we are talking about and in what situation...because one friend may be just the one I need at a particular moment while another may save me from sadness a few weeks later. Generally I am the girl who has one very small tight circle of friends at a time- and as life changes so does that circle...but each one of those people I would still consider my best friends because they have helped to shape me into the person I am...So I will tell you about just a few!
My very first best friend I do not have a digital picture of but she was amazing. Her name was Carly Seavers and we met at church when we were six years old. I love and miss her so much!!
Above and to the left is my very best friend from high school. Rachel. We had So much fun and I don't know what I would have done without her. So many great memories of seminary, boating, shopping, youth conference--and lots of long talks and countless notes and code names for boys...we were pretty silly but I love this Lady!!
My friend Emily I haven't known quite as long as some of the others..just about 3 years but if feels like a lot longer. She moved into my ward and we hit it off- for actually very strange reasons- we were kind of dating the same guy- go figure. We also spent many many hours serving in the relief society presidency together. She is such a great person and puts up with me and all my flaws! She understands the way I think-which is NO small task.
This lovely lady is Kara. First let me say I love a person who is not afraid to wear color. But she is one of the most fun people I know!! She makes me smile and I always enjoy her company- she is like a sister. So fun to talk to And so beautiful!

This is her brother Brendon. I think when we first met I scared him a little but after hours of early morning dance practice together we became very good friends. I love this kid!! I seriously could talk to him for days on end- Crazy fun and what a stud right?? I love the Kopps. I wish they lived closer!
these two lovely ladies lived with me for over 2 years and I miss them all the time. Cortney and Maggie were two of my most fun roommates- I mean come on...look at that belt buckle- and the broken wrist is from one of our adventures together! These girls are always there for me and understand and love me even when I'm being difficult-They have both moved away now so I don't see them often but when I do we can talk like we've never been apart.

This is JeniLynn. My longest running roommate ever. We lived together from the time we started college until she replaced me with a husband. (love you Greg- I wouldn't have parted with her to anyone else) Our friendship started out rocky- as the best relationships often do- she thought I was obsessed with my seminary class and I thought she was super self righteous-we got over that after a few weeks. Jeni and I could talk for hours...and we did. Usually at night when we were supposed to be sleeping-we talked about anything and everything. we also spent hours squealing over books and movies- she has moved across the country now but I still love her.
I love all my friends, and if you didn't get a shout out and picture on here I am so sorry!! my blog can only be so long- it doesn't mean I love you any less or that you are any less important to me. Every person I call a friend has changed my life for the better!! My friends are always there for me and help me to smile- especially when I don't feel like it ;) You are all amazing!!
My very first best friend I do not have a digital picture of but she was amazing. Her name was Carly Seavers and we met at church when we were six years old. I love and miss her so much!!
Above and to the left is my very best friend from high school. Rachel. We had So much fun and I don't know what I would have done without her. So many great memories of seminary, boating, shopping, youth conference--and lots of long talks and countless notes and code names for boys...we were pretty silly but I love this Lady!!
My friend Emily I haven't known quite as long as some of the others..just about 3 years but if feels like a lot longer. She moved into my ward and we hit it off- for actually very strange reasons- we were kind of dating the same guy- go figure. We also spent many many hours serving in the relief society presidency together. She is such a great person and puts up with me and all my flaws! She understands the way I think-which is NO small task.
This lovely lady is Kara. First let me say I love a person who is not afraid to wear color. But she is one of the most fun people I know!! She makes me smile and I always enjoy her company- she is like a sister. So fun to talk to And so beautiful!
This is her brother Brendon. I think when we first met I scared him a little but after hours of early morning dance practice together we became very good friends. I love this kid!! I seriously could talk to him for days on end- Crazy fun and what a stud right?? I love the Kopps. I wish they lived closer!
these two lovely ladies lived with me for over 2 years and I miss them all the time. Cortney and Maggie were two of my most fun roommates- I mean come on...look at that belt buckle- and the broken wrist is from one of our adventures together! These girls are always there for me and understand and love me even when I'm being difficult-They have both moved away now so I don't see them often but when I do we can talk like we've never been apart. 
This is JeniLynn. My longest running roommate ever. We lived together from the time we started college until she replaced me with a husband. (love you Greg- I wouldn't have parted with her to anyone else) Our friendship started out rocky- as the best relationships often do- she thought I was obsessed with my seminary class and I thought she was super self righteous-we got over that after a few weeks. Jeni and I could talk for hours...and we did. Usually at night when we were supposed to be sleeping-we talked about anything and everything. we also spent hours squealing over books and movies- she has moved across the country now but I still love her.
I love all my friends, and if you didn't get a shout out and picture on here I am so sorry!! my blog can only be so long- it doesn't mean I love you any less or that you are any less important to me. Every person I call a friend has changed my life for the better!! My friends are always there for me and help me to smile- especially when I don't feel like it ;) You are all amazing!!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Day 6- what a day!
Today I am supposed to tell you about my day- but I will of course only do part of that because that would probably under normal circumstances be pretty dull. What I will tell you is that today I realized how much I have to be grateful for. I don't want to sound mushy and stuff but I think I take life for granted most days and today it was brought to my attention.
DO you ever have those experiences where you realize after the fact that you barely escaped death ...I had three of those experiences today. Now that's driving the point home. Nothing like 3 wake up calls to make you grateful to be alive.
1. The first I can't really tell you about because it isn't only my experience and the others involved have sworn me to silence (for the time being) I will say that it could have ended very very badly for quite a few people if someone hadn't been in the right place at the right time.
2. As I was coming down a hill at about 45 mph a car decided it wanted to turn into the suicide lane but at the last second decided they were going to slow down and not actually enter the left turn lane and instead came to almost a complete stop in my lane. Lets just say its a good thing I have really good tires and brakes- I really was not in the mood to t-bone a car tonight.
3. also involves a car. I decided I was going to leave work early tonight because I was just tired. So I clocked out about 15 min early and grabbed my stuff. But for some reason I didn't leave. I just stood there and talked to a co-worker about nothing for about 10 min and finally at 5 to six I though "what am I still doing here, I have things to do tonight". So I left the mall and headed home...after missing the suicide driver I realized that traffic was pretty much stopped at the intersection ahead. Then an ambulance sped past me in the opposite direction. As I drove past the accident I saw two very totaled cars- probably someone ran a red light- The accident was bad- and judging from the scene I'd say it had happened about 10 min before...give or take a min or two. Had I left work when I originally planned that might have been my car...it might not have been...but I would have been real close and at least would probably have had to watch it happen.
So today I am grateful to be alive. I am now going to go play with some friends, see tangled, and then come home and work on my lesson for Sunday school tomorrow and hope that tomorrow I don't have to do any speed watching of my life tomorrow.
DO you ever have those experiences where you realize after the fact that you barely escaped death ...I had three of those experiences today. Now that's driving the point home. Nothing like 3 wake up calls to make you grateful to be alive.
1. The first I can't really tell you about because it isn't only my experience and the others involved have sworn me to silence (for the time being) I will say that it could have ended very very badly for quite a few people if someone hadn't been in the right place at the right time.
2. As I was coming down a hill at about 45 mph a car decided it wanted to turn into the suicide lane but at the last second decided they were going to slow down and not actually enter the left turn lane and instead came to almost a complete stop in my lane. Lets just say its a good thing I have really good tires and brakes- I really was not in the mood to t-bone a car tonight.
3. also involves a car. I decided I was going to leave work early tonight because I was just tired. So I clocked out about 15 min early and grabbed my stuff. But for some reason I didn't leave. I just stood there and talked to a co-worker about nothing for about 10 min and finally at 5 to six I though "what am I still doing here, I have things to do tonight". So I left the mall and headed home...after missing the suicide driver I realized that traffic was pretty much stopped at the intersection ahead. Then an ambulance sped past me in the opposite direction. As I drove past the accident I saw two very totaled cars- probably someone ran a red light- The accident was bad- and judging from the scene I'd say it had happened about 10 min before...give or take a min or two. Had I left work when I originally planned that might have been my car...it might not have been...but I would have been real close and at least would probably have had to watch it happen.
So today I am grateful to be alive. I am now going to go play with some friends, see tangled, and then come home and work on my lesson for Sunday school tomorrow and hope that tomorrow I don't have to do any speed watching of my life tomorrow.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Day 5- Love
"To love another person is to see the face of God"
Les Miserables

What is Love. The generic definition is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" but I don't think that really sums it up. Love has so many definitions in so many different situations. But I think that to love is to be God like, because true love requires selfless giving of yourself to another. In any situation, to love another requires you to give your time, your talents, your heart, etc....you cannot experience love if you think first of yourself.
I believe this is true in any relationship. Marriage, friendship, family. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "you hold the key to my heart" I don't believe that...no one else can hold that key. It is something you alone can hold. We all hold the keys to our own heart- we choose when it is open or locked.
I'm not sure I can tell you in my own words what love is so I am going to share my favorite quotes about love from some really smart people:
"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person"
Margaret Anderson
"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you"
Roy Croft
"the only true gift is a portion of yourself"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own"
Robert Heinlein
"The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite"
William Shakespeare
"Love is friendship set on fire"
Jeremy Taylor
"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love"
Erich Fromm
"you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly"
Sam Keen
"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return"
Antonie de saint-Exupery
"true love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart"
Honore de Blazac
"if you know what love is, its because of you"
Herman Hesse
"one word frees us of all weight and pain in life. That word is love"
Sophocles
"there is no remedy for love but to love more"
Henry David Thoreau
To love is to see others through God's eyes. To accept someone for who they are as they are. Love is to serve with all our heart and to forgive when we are wronged. To love- one must give.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Day 4
I'm sorry I think this blog topic is totally stupid. Day 4 is supposed to be "what I ate today"...who the heck came up with that and thought that was interesting. Anyway for the sake of the blog I will tell you that I've only been up for 30 min and therefore haven't eaten all that much today. This morning I ate, as I do most mornings of the year, a fried egg and whole wheat toast. Yes I eat that for breakfast probably 350 days a year. (except for fast Sundays and probably holidays and the occasional day when I crave blueberry muffins instead)
Sounds kind of boring I guess but I don't ever get sick of it. Plus its healthier than a bowl of cap n' crunch and it keeps me full longer. And I also don't have to waste time figuring out what I want to eat for breakfast- it saves me time in the morning. So there you have it- that is my breakfast of champions.
Sounds kind of boring I guess but I don't ever get sick of it. Plus its healthier than a bowl of cap n' crunch and it keeps me full longer. And I also don't have to waste time figuring out what I want to eat for breakfast- it saves me time in the morning. So there you have it- that is my breakfast of champions.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day 3- My parents
These are my parents. Some of you know them, some of you don't. They are pretty great. They have worked their whole lives to raise six children and that is no easy task- but as far as I'm concerned they have been pretty successful teachers. My parents have shaped and molded us into the people we are today. How did they do it- they taught us correct principles and let us govern ourselves. Smart parents. My parents also are really great at encouraging us to achieve our goals and to work hard for what we want....
This is my mom. She doesn't like her picture taken but I don't know why because I think she is gorgeous! My mom is hilarious- she has a crazy language that comes out when she's stressed and she would probably be so mad if she knew I put that on here but we all love it! My mom has an amazing testimony of the gospel and taught me to love and serve the Lord. My mom is the social one of my parents and she loves to talk- especially to her family. My mom can't ever sit down, she always has to be doing something for someone- she gets that from her mom. My mom is always supportive and gives the best back tickles. She is pretty cool. 
This is my dad. He is a handsome guy. My dad is the hardest worker EVER. He has owned his own businesses and even worked for the secret service when my parents first married. He is a jack of all trades and excels at everything he tries. From my dad I learned how to work hard and do my very best. My dad is super intelligent and an inventor and makes the most amazing things. He teaches himself new skills and does an amazing job at anything he puts his mind to. Education is very important to my dad and so he encouraged us all to try hard and finish our education. Also he gives the BEST head rubs ever. My dad is pretty amazing.

This is my mom. She doesn't like her picture taken but I don't know why because I think she is gorgeous! My mom is hilarious- she has a crazy language that comes out when she's stressed and she would probably be so mad if she knew I put that on here but we all love it! My mom has an amazing testimony of the gospel and taught me to love and serve the Lord. My mom is the social one of my parents and she loves to talk- especially to her family. My mom can't ever sit down, she always has to be doing something for someone- she gets that from her mom. My mom is always supportive and gives the best back tickles. She is pretty cool. 
This is my dad. He is a handsome guy. My dad is the hardest worker EVER. He has owned his own businesses and even worked for the secret service when my parents first married. He is a jack of all trades and excels at everything he tries. From my dad I learned how to work hard and do my very best. My dad is super intelligent and an inventor and makes the most amazing things. He teaches himself new skills and does an amazing job at anything he puts his mind to. Education is very important to my dad and so he encouraged us all to try hard and finish our education. Also he gives the BEST head rubs ever. My dad is pretty amazing.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Day 2- First Love
Ok so I know the idea of the post was to tell everyone about the first time I was ever in love- but truth is i'm still waiting for that to happen. I have never been in love...I have had boyfriends and crushes but if i'd really been in love with any of them we might still be together. So instead I will tell you about my first love in another area of my life....Les Miserables.
When I was 7 years old Les Miserables came to Sacramento and my parents got tickets for everyone but my little brother and I. I thought I didn't care so much but a few weeks before I decided I felt left out and I really did want to go. So my parents- being the amazing people they are got me and my brother a ticket to see the show. So off we went to our first musical theater experience...
Hello amazing!! The songs the stage the props it was all amazing. The characters had depth and emotion and I absolutely fell in love. I didn't want it to end. So I came home and from that day on I listened to the soundtrack. I memorized the words and it became a central part of my life.
Inside one of our closets was an old dress coat and I would put it on and sing "on my own" at the top of my lungs and dream of being on stage as Eponine some day. That's still the goal but for now I am content to just watch it from the main floor every chance I get. I LOVE this play and I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to it.
When I was 7 years old Les Miserables came to Sacramento and my parents got tickets for everyone but my little brother and I. I thought I didn't care so much but a few weeks before I decided I felt left out and I really did want to go. So my parents- being the amazing people they are got me and my brother a ticket to see the show. So off we went to our first musical theater experience...
Hello amazing!! The songs the stage the props it was all amazing. The characters had depth and emotion and I absolutely fell in love. I didn't want it to end. So I came home and from that day on I listened to the soundtrack. I memorized the words and it became a central part of my life.
Inside one of our closets was an old dress coat and I would put it on and sing "on my own" at the top of my lungs and dream of being on stage as Eponine some day. That's still the goal but for now I am content to just watch it from the main floor every chance I get. I LOVE this play and I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to it.Monday, January 10, 2011
Day One- Me in pictures and words
I was reading my friends blog and she started this 30 posts in 30 days challenge and I thought it was pretty cool...plus sometimes I just don't know what to blog about so here you go...In 30 days you will learn probably more than you ever wanted to know about me. The first day is "Me: in picture and words"
I have the coolest family and I always wanted to be part of the action. If my sisters were doing something I wanted to do it too. They were so cool then and they are all pretty awesome now! I also have two amazing brothers who are just as awesome as my sisters. I love my family.
I used to have REALLY long hair. And also I loved my dress. I still have it and sometimes I dress up in it and pretend to be a fairy queen with my nieces.
The day I graduated from BYU- wow, that was an amazing feeling. I set the goal to go to BYU when I was 13 so this day was pretty great for me. I am a big goal setter. If i'm not working toward something i'm wasting my life.
Rain or shine the summer is my favorite time of the year because it brings the RODEO! and with a rodeo comes cowboys. I secretly want to marry a cowboy- but not a real one, just a half cowboy. Love them!
I love to dance. I was part of the BYU ballroom dance co. for about 1 1/2 and I loved it! I love performing, the costumes, being part of a team and all the friends I made. So fun!
I love to dress up and I love to perform. My mom says I have a flare for the dramatic. I sing and am obsessed with musical theater- these girls are amazing and I love spending time with amazing people backstage. I have done only two plays so far but I had so much fun.

Besides being in front of a camera I also like to be behind the scenes and make other people beautiful!!! I get ideas of how I can use my cosmetology license and my sister comes over with her camera and makes it happen. (this is one of my 3 sisters- she's beautiful even without my help)
Also, when i'm not doing a "shoot" I rarely take a normal faced picture...and as you can see i'm passing my legacy onto my nieces and nephews.
Not only do I love disney but yes I am still single- (hard to believe after that last picture but its true) I am still waiting for my real life mr. incredible. so I suppose this will have to do until then.
I miss my short hair. I have had to keep my hair long for my shows but someday it will look like this again. Also, I love to laugh. Its one of my favorite things to do. Life is too short not to enjoy!
Besides being a disney freak, and loving to take pictures I LOVE this dress. My mom helped me sew it and it cost me quite a bit but snow white is the only princess I can pull off with my super pale skin.
well, that's me. Actually there is a lot more to me but I am getting tired and I don't want to look for more pictures.
Hi. This is me. Lori. My name is pretty short..you wouldn't think I had too many nicknames, but I do. I have a lot. Some of which are longer than my actual name. Kindobabs, luca, lori lou, etc...I love my nicknames even though some of them make no sense. I will pretty much answer to anything as long as I know you are talking to me.
I have the coolest family and I always wanted to be part of the action. If my sisters were doing something I wanted to do it too. They were so cool then and they are all pretty awesome now! I also have two amazing brothers who are just as awesome as my sisters. I love my family.
I used to have REALLY long hair. And also I loved my dress. I still have it and sometimes I dress up in it and pretend to be a fairy queen with my nieces.
The day I graduated from BYU- wow, that was an amazing feeling. I set the goal to go to BYU when I was 13 so this day was pretty great for me. I am a big goal setter. If i'm not working toward something i'm wasting my life.
I love to dance. I was part of the BYU ballroom dance co. for about 1 1/2 and I loved it! I love performing, the costumes, being part of a team and all the friends I made. So fun!
Besides being in front of a camera I also like to be behind the scenes and make other people beautiful!!! I get ideas of how I can use my cosmetology license and my sister comes over with her camera and makes it happen. (this is one of my 3 sisters- she's beautiful even without my help)
Also, when i'm not doing a "shoot" I rarely take a normal faced picture...and as you can see i'm passing my legacy onto my nieces and nephews.
Not only do I love disney but yes I am still single- (hard to believe after that last picture but its true) I am still waiting for my real life mr. incredible. so I suppose this will have to do until then.
I miss my short hair. I have had to keep my hair long for my shows but someday it will look like this again. Also, I love to laugh. Its one of my favorite things to do. Life is too short not to enjoy!
Besides being a disney freak, and loving to take pictures I LOVE this dress. My mom helped me sew it and it cost me quite a bit but snow white is the only princess I can pull off with my super pale skin.well, that's me. Actually there is a lot more to me but I am getting tired and I don't want to look for more pictures.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
In the eye? or the Mind?

I just had an eye opening experience. You've all heard the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" well- its true. But perhaps I should say, "beauty is in the mind of the beholder". Let me explain.
This morning was kind of a blah morning for me. I'm getting over a cold, I've not been exercising, and I've been eating not great things. So basically I feel gross. I didn't want to get dressed because I felt fat in everything I put on. I did my hair but it just looked faded, flat and lifeless. I put my make up on and surprisingly it didn't help. I just looked ugly. Usually when I feel like this I can at least find something about myself that looks OK- usually my eyes but today I thought even my eyes looked yuck. As I was sitting on my bed feeling sorry for myself I decided I should just be grateful that I am feeling better than yesterday and that my cold hasn't completely over taken my voice enough to prevent me from singing in my voice lesson today. that thought brightened my spirits! I love my voice lessons and I haven't had one in two weeks.
Interestingly enough when I looked in the mirror again I didn't look quite as bad as I originally thought. I actually thought I looked pretty today. And it occurred to me that my appearance hadn't actually changed at all. My attitude and therefore my perception of myself had. My negative feelings caused me to see everything negatively- and once I had changed my thoughts in the direction of gratitude- things looked better. I know that sounds cheesy but there is no other explanation for it. My eyes were seeing the same person, but they way my mind processed it had changed- therefore beauty must be in the mind of the beholder.
Break time
I am taking a break. A "buying" break. Which is going to be a real test of my self control. You see I work in a clothing store...a clothing store that I happen to love. I never go 'shopping' I simply go to work and see things day in and day out that I think I need. But the fact is I don't need them. I have had a standing rule that if I buy something and haven't worn it, or in some cases even taken it out of the bag or even out of my car in a week then it must go back. No matter how much I "love" it or "need" it. Don't get me wrong, my spending is never out of control- I can always pay off my credit card. But just because I can afford it doesn't mean I should be spending all my money on it. I have better things to use my money on- and lets face it, I'm running out of room to keep all this stuff.
I'm already doing better and in fact- I have a credit on my card. I don't think I've ever had a negative balance on that card before...but its not just a store card- its a visa, which means I will just use that credit to buy my friend a bridal shower gift. problem solved, credit gone, spending done :)
I'm already doing better and in fact- I have a credit on my card. I don't think I've ever had a negative balance on that card before...but its not just a store card- its a visa, which means I will just use that credit to buy my friend a bridal shower gift. problem solved, credit gone, spending done :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
A reason to celebrate
I am not a fan of New Years- actually I think its a pretty lame holiday. I also dislike the idea of New year's resolutions. Let me explain- I think the idea of a resolution is great. I'm all about setting and achieving goals. However, I hate the idea of setting a goal or a "resolution" simply because it is the beginning of a new year and you feel like you should. If you know you need to change something then just do it- don't wait until January. If you set the goal simply because the holiday dictates that you do, you probably will not achieve the goal anyway. The motivation for change is not really there. You will most likely work on it for a month and then forget all about it. Therefore you have not resolved anything. And therefore I make a point of never setting new years resolutions. I simply continue working toward the goals that I already have set for myself. I always have goals- in multiple areas of my life. Education, spiritual, physical, etc...so the new year brings nothing different. I think everyone should always have at least 2 or 3 goals they are working toward- otherwise they probably aren't improving or progressing. But those goals should not be set simply to ring in a new year.
I know I sound like a scrooge- but to me it seems so hypocritical. The idea of a new year bringing new opportunities and a clean slate is fantastic- but rarely do we ever really take advantage of it. We hang on to our past so tightly because its comfortable, its what we know- and the new opportunities are scary- so we fall right back into our rut and never truly experience what the new year really could be. therefore- I am not a fan. It is a waste.
also, I never stay up until midnight. The new year will come whether I'm awake or not- why should I lose sleep over it. If other people want to celebrate new years- more power to them. Someone has to love it-its just not me.
I know I sound like a scrooge- but to me it seems so hypocritical. The idea of a new year bringing new opportunities and a clean slate is fantastic- but rarely do we ever really take advantage of it. We hang on to our past so tightly because its comfortable, its what we know- and the new opportunities are scary- so we fall right back into our rut and never truly experience what the new year really could be. therefore- I am not a fan. It is a waste.
also, I never stay up until midnight. The new year will come whether I'm awake or not- why should I lose sleep over it. If other people want to celebrate new years- more power to them. Someone has to love it-its just not me.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
And THAT'S how we start the new year!
I'm not going to lie- I think new years is a waste of a holiday- except for the fact that I worked a full day today and got time and a half, also holiday pay. Have I mentioned I LOVE my job. Anyway- that's not what this post is about. So I had new years eve off and what does a person who doesn't really celebrate new years do? She cleans her room. And by 'cleans' I do not mean I pulled out the vacuum and ten minutes later it was done. NO. I stripped my bed, dusted everything like normal but then I decided that wasn't good enough. I pulled all the furniture out (except my bed, that's too big to move by myself, I simply crawled underneath) and cleaned all my baseboards, I dusted my shoes, my books, I cleaned under my bed- I vacuumed every square inch of carpet and every surface and item in my closet. I even vacuumed the speakers on my stereo. that may not sound like a big deal but my closet alone took me over an hour- probably closer to two hours. As you can see, I have quite a lot of stuff in my closet- books packed on the top shelf and shoes stacked in boxes below.
My whole room took just over four hours but can I just say it looked amazing and smelled fresh and clean and there was not a particle of dust left in the place- maybe because it was all over me. Also, I don't think I've sneezed so much in one morning ever. But it was totally worth it and I can't think of anything more productive to do on the eve of a new year.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Mad Mad World
Tonight I was looking at the underground menu for Jamba juice and I realised that some of their "underground" options used to be, at least when I was in HS and early college, part of the everyday options, flavors such as cherry charger, and orange-a-peel (there were a few others). I started to feel really old- and then I remembered that the last two times I've been to jamba my smoothies have not been as tasty as I remember them being. Every week I used to treat myself to and Aloha Pineapple- well, I got it a few weeks ago and I swear there is just a ton of ice in it now- it was not nearly as rich and creamy as I remember. Then I realized that at some point after I started college the world must have gone mad- Because all of a sudden those yummy smoothies are not healthy enough to sell. Which means they are too healthy for me to buy. If I want something healthy I will make it at home and save my money- I am paying for something delicious- Therefore I am going to stick to the underground menu and leave the world to its madness.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Find what's missing
so...how do you find something that can't be found? I haven't any idea. All my life I have had a love for family and I've known all my life that my family history is something I need to do. To be honest though I was pretty content just studying what had already been found. Kudos to someone along the line because my dad's family history is pretty far back- I think to the early 1600s. And one side of my mom's is done pretty far back as well. HOWEVER- My dear grandfather on my mom's side was the first person in his family to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints so no temple work has been done. To make things even harder- the record only goes back about 3 generations (2 if we are counting only accurate documentation). Unfortunately my grandpa's family is from Dyers burg Tennessee and once upon a time the courthouse containing all the birth, death, and marriage records burned to the ground. So although many have looked for answers several generations have been unable to move beyond my great great grandfather.
Deep down I know that I need to find this line. I have put it off for years because I was in school or the relief society president, or some other worthy time consuming thing- But I can't put it off forever and I feel like now is the time to start working on it...but the problem is I don't even know where to begin. All the websites with records cost money, which wouldn't be a big deal if I knew they were going to help me. I am not complaining- I didn't really expect it to be easy. After all, if it had been easy my grandmother or my sister would have found all the answers by now. That doesn't keep me from getting frustrated though- I just hope that if I'm willing I get a little inspiration to help me find what so far cannot be found- A name.
Deep down I know that I need to find this line. I have put it off for years because I was in school or the relief society president, or some other worthy time consuming thing- But I can't put it off forever and I feel like now is the time to start working on it...but the problem is I don't even know where to begin. All the websites with records cost money, which wouldn't be a big deal if I knew they were going to help me. I am not complaining- I didn't really expect it to be easy. After all, if it had been easy my grandmother or my sister would have found all the answers by now. That doesn't keep me from getting frustrated though- I just hope that if I'm willing I get a little inspiration to help me find what so far cannot be found- A name.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
No more crutches
I am pretty busy and don't have a lot of time to watch television- so when I do get some down time I generally go through the shows I've recorded before choosing anything on live TV. Tonight was one of those rare free nights and I basically had myself a what not to wear marathon. As I was watching episode after episode I noticed a common thread. Over and over the girls on the show kept saying things like, "well when I was in high school people said this", "when I was younger I got in trouble for this" "people will judge me and think I look ridiculous" "I don't want people to think", etc....It occurred to me that so many people hinder their progress and success for the future based on what someone said or did to them in the past. Does that make any sense? To ruin your future because some 14 yr old said something mean to you back before you were even out of puberty. Its not a great time for anyone and its a crutch.
Maybe its not some ghost from the past- maybe you just don't feel good about where you are right now- again I say get over it. Don't blame someone else- do what you have to do to feel better and give up the crutch. Be grateful you have a body and all your parts work. If you spend so much time focusing on what you are not you and the people in your life will never be allowed to realize what you ARE!! And that is So much more important! seriously- stop worrying about what everyone else thinks- its what you think of yourself that matters. Accept who you are, love yourself as you are, and share your gifts with the world!! "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify the father which is in heaven" Your light can't shine if you cover it with self loathing and doubt- you cannot serve others well if you are only focused on yourself and what you are lacking. Throw your crutches away, stop blaming the world or your past, accept the now and work toward your future.
Maybe its not some ghost from the past- maybe you just don't feel good about where you are right now- again I say get over it. Don't blame someone else- do what you have to do to feel better and give up the crutch. Be grateful you have a body and all your parts work. If you spend so much time focusing on what you are not you and the people in your life will never be allowed to realize what you ARE!! And that is So much more important! seriously- stop worrying about what everyone else thinks- its what you think of yourself that matters. Accept who you are, love yourself as you are, and share your gifts with the world!! "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify the father which is in heaven" Your light can't shine if you cover it with self loathing and doubt- you cannot serve others well if you are only focused on yourself and what you are lacking. Throw your crutches away, stop blaming the world or your past, accept the now and work toward your future.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Past awesome-ness
I have decided I was born at the wrong time. I believe I should have been born late 20s or early 30s. I love vintage clothes, I love swing dancing, and I love big band music, the cars were amazing and people were just more classy- also I love Kay Starr, Louis Armstrong, Etta James...etc. I am not sad I missed out on world war II but everything else is so great about that era I am sad I missed it. If I could go back and visit another time- the 40s would have been my decade. Don't get me wrong, I love all my modern conveniences but there is something to be said for simplicity. The 40s were full of awesome-ness that just isn't around anymore. I guess I will have to be happy with vintage clothing and my itunes playlist.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Obsessed with dreams
I love dreams. I get really excited when I actually sleep well enough to have a dream and even more excited if I still remember it when I wake up. I always try to figure out what my dreams mean- because your subconscious is an incredible thing! I get online and I pull up a dream dictionary and start analyzing. Most of the time I'm surprised how right on the dream analysis is. I love it!
Well the last few nights my dreams have been very vivid. I see faces on everyone and usually they are just a blur. Last night I had another vivid dream- I brushed it off when I got up and decided I would check out the interpretation when I got home from church. And that's just what I did, although in this case my dream dictionary didn't make any sense with what I remembered from my dream. I told my mom about it and she actually came up with an explanation that struck a cord of truth.
After talking to my mom I realized that I should have written this dream down as soon as I woke up because now there are details I can't remember. For instance- I know there were several sentences written in my dream but I can't remember what they said, I just remember reading something. Also there was a person in my dream that although I get his overall significance I can't remember what he was doing or if he said anything in the dream- and it frustrates me because I feel like it might have been important.
its not uncommon for people in my family to have significant dreams from time to time, and I've always been secretly jealous that I never got to have one- but now I see why. when I do have them I don't write them down. But even with my imperfect memory I know what it meant I just am still a little unsure what to do with the information- But I am definitely going to move forward and hope that some how somewhere a sealed door will open. If it is possible I will venture to say that I am even more obsessed with dreams than I was before.
Well the last few nights my dreams have been very vivid. I see faces on everyone and usually they are just a blur. Last night I had another vivid dream- I brushed it off when I got up and decided I would check out the interpretation when I got home from church. And that's just what I did, although in this case my dream dictionary didn't make any sense with what I remembered from my dream. I told my mom about it and she actually came up with an explanation that struck a cord of truth.
After talking to my mom I realized that I should have written this dream down as soon as I woke up because now there are details I can't remember. For instance- I know there were several sentences written in my dream but I can't remember what they said, I just remember reading something. Also there was a person in my dream that although I get his overall significance I can't remember what he was doing or if he said anything in the dream- and it frustrates me because I feel like it might have been important.
its not uncommon for people in my family to have significant dreams from time to time, and I've always been secretly jealous that I never got to have one- but now I see why. when I do have them I don't write them down. But even with my imperfect memory I know what it meant I just am still a little unsure what to do with the information- But I am definitely going to move forward and hope that some how somewhere a sealed door will open. If it is possible I will venture to say that I am even more obsessed with dreams than I was before.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The power of one...
"we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places as we strive to live the young women values which are: faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity and virtue. We believe as we come to accept and act upon these principles we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."
Every Sunday Young women all over the world recite these words. Once upon a time I was included in that- but it has been nearly a decade since I have given it much thought. Until last week, I was sitting in my Sunday school class, which also happens to be the YW room for another ward, and it drew my attention. Especially "we will stand as witnesses of God at All times and in All things and in All places" and I began to think- Do I really do that?
I came to the conclusion that No- I don't. I know that I should but it is not as easy as it sounds and actually I was much better at it when I was in High school. In high school I was not necessarily the most confident person but I was confident in what I knew to be right- and all of my friends respected it. Not one of my friends even cussed around me or invited me to a sketchy party- they always said, "sorry this isn't your kind of party". No one questioned where I stood or what I stood for.
Today however I cannot honestly say I am as firm in ALL things. I wouldn't say I act against what I know to be true- but I don't always speak up and be a witness for truth. In some ways I have become less confident- and honestly I hate that. I was reminded this morning that our influence on others, whether for good or for ill, is felt and can last a very very long time-in my case over a decade. And I decided that even though I live in the center of many of my same faith we are all at different levels of that faith and I still need to stand firm as a witness of Christ no matter where I am or who I am with. I would be crushed to know that my behavior or lack of conviction silently gave someone else permission to behave as they shouldn't. I would like to always think that my behavior influenced another for good, that it inspired them to reach higher and accomplish more.
Sometimes I feel that I am only one person, I can't really make that big of a difference, and that no one really pays much attention to what I do or do not do. But the fact is- one person can make a world of difference. I know this is an extreme example but Hitler was also one person- one person who influenced a nation. Everyone knows the effects of his choices - I often wonder what the world would have been like if he had harnessed that influence in another direction. Someone with his talent for speaking and persuasion could have done so much good and yet his gifts created a nightmare for so many. If one person can create so much pain-could not one person create just as much joy. I submit that it can be done. Yet so often we doubt our own strength to create change, we diminish our influence and power for good. If we stand as a witness for God in all times, and in all things, and in all places we cannot help but inspire and uplift- We each can leave our mark on the world and I hope to make mine a positive one!
Every Sunday Young women all over the world recite these words. Once upon a time I was included in that- but it has been nearly a decade since I have given it much thought. Until last week, I was sitting in my Sunday school class, which also happens to be the YW room for another ward, and it drew my attention. Especially "we will stand as witnesses of God at All times and in All things and in All places" and I began to think- Do I really do that?
I came to the conclusion that No- I don't. I know that I should but it is not as easy as it sounds and actually I was much better at it when I was in High school. In high school I was not necessarily the most confident person but I was confident in what I knew to be right- and all of my friends respected it. Not one of my friends even cussed around me or invited me to a sketchy party- they always said, "sorry this isn't your kind of party". No one questioned where I stood or what I stood for.
Today however I cannot honestly say I am as firm in ALL things. I wouldn't say I act against what I know to be true- but I don't always speak up and be a witness for truth. In some ways I have become less confident- and honestly I hate that. I was reminded this morning that our influence on others, whether for good or for ill, is felt and can last a very very long time-in my case over a decade. And I decided that even though I live in the center of many of my same faith we are all at different levels of that faith and I still need to stand firm as a witness of Christ no matter where I am or who I am with. I would be crushed to know that my behavior or lack of conviction silently gave someone else permission to behave as they shouldn't. I would like to always think that my behavior influenced another for good, that it inspired them to reach higher and accomplish more.
Sometimes I feel that I am only one person, I can't really make that big of a difference, and that no one really pays much attention to what I do or do not do. But the fact is- one person can make a world of difference. I know this is an extreme example but Hitler was also one person- one person who influenced a nation. Everyone knows the effects of his choices - I often wonder what the world would have been like if he had harnessed that influence in another direction. Someone with his talent for speaking and persuasion could have done so much good and yet his gifts created a nightmare for so many. If one person can create so much pain-could not one person create just as much joy. I submit that it can be done. Yet so often we doubt our own strength to create change, we diminish our influence and power for good. If we stand as a witness for God in all times, and in all things, and in all places we cannot help but inspire and uplift- We each can leave our mark on the world and I hope to make mine a positive one!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Grateful for age...
I just want to say how grateful I am that we all get older. with age comes wisdom- hopefully. I know I complain about being "old" sometimes, but I don't really mean it. I'm not old and I know it. Mostly I just say those things because my life has not followed the map I had drawn out. But I am actually very happy about that. I have learned so much and met people I never would have met had I taken my own very narrow minded path.
Tonight I had an interesting experience - well it was mostly in my own head. I found myself in the middle of a very shallow conversation with several girls under the age of 21...and just in the next room was an 85 yr old piano player who is incredible. So much life experience. Part of me, a large part of me would have rather been in that room talking to him- but I did learn a few things right where I was.
I was sitting peacefully by myself reading my lesson for gospel doctrine when I was joined by three girls. Now before I proceed let me just say that I do in fact like these girls. They are fun cute girls- however they lack maturity in some areas of their personality and that is so interesting for me to watch- from a distance of course.
These girls were talking to me and since I do love to pick people's brains I listened intently- people fascinate me- plus like I said, I like these girls. anyway- the boys came out to get drinks I think and the flirting began. (it was only 2 boys and 2 girls) It went on for only a few minutes and then the boys went back to their singing. Soon after, these two girls found multiple "reasons" to go into that room so they could draw the boys attention. As if everyone didn't know why they were really in there (so funny)...anyway they eventually just ended up sitting on the floor looking like high school freshman watching the varsity football team practice...and I said a silent prayer that I never look that desperate in my life. But I'm sure when I was there age I did at some point do something similar.
As they sat there I realized some things- That yes these boys are talented, good looking young men- but in spite of all that- I could never respect a man who was drawn in by such primitive tactics. And I realized, that's probably why I'm single still- I want a man who thinks with his brain- not his hormones. I want someone who doesn't just go for the easy target- perhaps I'll find one in the MBA program- I have high hopes that those men want a woman with brains and motivation. but I digress from my purpose....
Tonight I also learned that because of my age-or rather, experience (which I know is not nearly as vast as some) I have so much to be grateful for. I've learned that I am grateful for being the 5Th of 6 kids which taught me that I do not need to be- and probably usually will not be- the center of attention most of the time. I am grateful for my ability to be alone with my own thoughts and to be able to go to the bathroom by myself (which these and many girls cannot do). I am grateful that I can still think of others before myself (although I'm not always perfect- some days are better than others) I'm grateful that I have learned to make my own decisions- even if they are wrong sometimes. I am grateful that I have learned to deal with disappointment- life goes on and it usually goes on for the better. I am grateful for my siblings and my ability to get along with them all- I love my family. I am grateful for the ability to listen and really hear what people are saying and feeling. I am grateful for my education and love of learning. I am grateful for a sense of loyalty- and to be able to value others for who they are. I am grateful for a sense of humor-to enjoy life and not take the small things too seriously.
I am grateful to bob, the piano player, who is an inspiration to me. An inspiration of what can be accomplished in life if you recognize your gifts and blessings and use them for good. I hope that as I grow older I can grow wiser as well- I hope to always be an inspiration and a light to others, to share my experiences to benefit others. I know I'm not perfect, I have a lot to work on and places to mature but I'm also not dead yet- I have time, I just hope I always remember to use it to its fullest. Life is too short for regrets- so be happy and make others happy as well.
Tonight I had an interesting experience - well it was mostly in my own head. I found myself in the middle of a very shallow conversation with several girls under the age of 21...and just in the next room was an 85 yr old piano player who is incredible. So much life experience. Part of me, a large part of me would have rather been in that room talking to him- but I did learn a few things right where I was.
I was sitting peacefully by myself reading my lesson for gospel doctrine when I was joined by three girls. Now before I proceed let me just say that I do in fact like these girls. They are fun cute girls- however they lack maturity in some areas of their personality and that is so interesting for me to watch- from a distance of course.
These girls were talking to me and since I do love to pick people's brains I listened intently- people fascinate me- plus like I said, I like these girls. anyway- the boys came out to get drinks I think and the flirting began. (it was only 2 boys and 2 girls) It went on for only a few minutes and then the boys went back to their singing. Soon after, these two girls found multiple "reasons" to go into that room so they could draw the boys attention. As if everyone didn't know why they were really in there (so funny)...anyway they eventually just ended up sitting on the floor looking like high school freshman watching the varsity football team practice...and I said a silent prayer that I never look that desperate in my life. But I'm sure when I was there age I did at some point do something similar.
As they sat there I realized some things- That yes these boys are talented, good looking young men- but in spite of all that- I could never respect a man who was drawn in by such primitive tactics. And I realized, that's probably why I'm single still- I want a man who thinks with his brain- not his hormones. I want someone who doesn't just go for the easy target- perhaps I'll find one in the MBA program- I have high hopes that those men want a woman with brains and motivation. but I digress from my purpose....
Tonight I also learned that because of my age-or rather, experience (which I know is not nearly as vast as some) I have so much to be grateful for. I've learned that I am grateful for being the 5Th of 6 kids which taught me that I do not need to be- and probably usually will not be- the center of attention most of the time. I am grateful for my ability to be alone with my own thoughts and to be able to go to the bathroom by myself (which these and many girls cannot do). I am grateful that I can still think of others before myself (although I'm not always perfect- some days are better than others) I'm grateful that I have learned to make my own decisions- even if they are wrong sometimes. I am grateful that I have learned to deal with disappointment- life goes on and it usually goes on for the better. I am grateful for my siblings and my ability to get along with them all- I love my family. I am grateful for the ability to listen and really hear what people are saying and feeling. I am grateful for my education and love of learning. I am grateful for a sense of loyalty- and to be able to value others for who they are. I am grateful for a sense of humor-to enjoy life and not take the small things too seriously.
I am grateful to bob, the piano player, who is an inspiration to me. An inspiration of what can be accomplished in life if you recognize your gifts and blessings and use them for good. I hope that as I grow older I can grow wiser as well- I hope to always be an inspiration and a light to others, to share my experiences to benefit others. I know I'm not perfect, I have a lot to work on and places to mature but I'm also not dead yet- I have time, I just hope I always remember to use it to its fullest. Life is too short for regrets- so be happy and make others happy as well.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Do you not realize what day it is???
As many of you know, I am an avid watcher of wedding shows. TLC and WE are a great source for all your wedding pleasures. Tonight I was killing some time before my play rehearsal by watching "amazing wedding cakes". While watching, I rediscovered a huge pet peeve of mine. Several brides came on screen to look at their wedding cakes before their friends and family came in for the reception and I'm not kidding- they looked like they rolled out of bed and just threw on a wedding gown. I'm sorry- Do you not realize what day it is??? I don't care if you are not girly, don't wear a lot of make up, and don't own a blow dryer. It is your wedding day for heaven's sake- put some time and effort into your appearance. If your dress is elegant your hair and make up should be as well. If you can't do it yourself hire someone! If you are going to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a dress you can spend $50 to have your hair and make up done. YOU should wear the dress- it should not wear you.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Patience is a virtue
Ok my family is awesome. Especially my parents. For those of you who don't know, I LOVE to bake yummy delicious treats...and I do it a lot on Sunday. 1. because I am home 2. because I have time and 3. because there are people around to eat it. But most of the things I make are pretty involved and usually need to cool before I frost them or do the second step or whatever. However, my dad is not patient when it comes to delicious things. He is usually standing next to me when I take whatever it is out of the oven and immediately starts bugging me to cut into it. Usually my response is something like this, "Dad, its not finished. It still has to cool and be frosted" well- this was his response to waiting...if it had to cool before he could eat it- he was just going to help it along. I suppose patience is something we are still working on at our house...
Christmas Bells are Ringing...
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Farewell Red Tweed

Tomorrow will be a test of my will power. This jacket you see is currently sitting on my bed post. I am really really in love with it!! but, I don't NEED it. I already own a red peacoat from last year...its not tweed but still really cute. And the other reason I don't need it is because in just a few more weeks it will be too cold to wear it anyway and it will sit in the closet with last years red coat and collect dust. no one will ever see it and next year the Gap will make another red coat that I'm sure I will want as well...and the cycle will continue unless I check it now. So tomorrow I am going to just suck it up and return it...even though at this moment I am still feeling sad about it. Farwell my Friend.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
For Heaven's Sake- Cover your ankles!!

I just finished watching this movie with my mom (who is finally home from Cali) and it made me start to think about all the Jane Austin movies I've seen. Which naturally started me thinking about the screwed up logic of the time period in which these films are set. Exhibit A: Modesty. I would like someone to explain to me why in the world it was indecent to show one's ankles BUT the same woman could have half her chest hanging out of her dress and be considered in perfect taste. I'm sorry I just don't understand.
PS this is a very good version of S&S- I would actually like to merge this and the Emma Thompson version to create perfection.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
What a waste

This is a BMW Z3 convertible. This car - well one very similar to it- was driving in front of me on State Street on my way to work this morning. Now, when I say it was driving I use that term loosely. He was barely driving. I am not sure what he was doing- but his mind wasn't on the road. Anyway- he was driving somewhere between 30 and 35 mph. ANNOYING! the Speed limit is 40 mph on state- which stirred a pet peeve of mine. If you spend the money to drive a Z3 DRIVE IT!! what good does it do to have a sports car if you are afraid of it! seriously-I'm not saying you need to drive 65 in a residential but please at least drive the speed limit. If you drive 35 mph in a sports car like that you don't deserve to own it. The End.
Friday, October 22, 2010
As it happens...
I realized tonight I get a lot of my blog topics from TLC. I don't watch very much TV but all my favorite wedding shows are on TLC so there you go. Anyway- There is a new show starting called downsizing. Another reality show about a family who has basically had everything they ever wanted. Only now they can't- their economic situation has changed and they have to learn to go without. Here is why this is blog worthy. I'm not sure if all of you are up on what reality TV stars get paid these days but I assure you this family is not sharing their story out of the goodness of their hearts. They are getting paid, and paid well. So the show is not actually a "reality" show- because as it happens after just a few episodes they will no longer have the need to downsize at all. go figure.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thank You Walt

I finally watched Disney's The Princess and the Frog- LOVED it. I can't believe it took me so long to watch it. It not my very favorite princess movie but it was really cute and funny! I also realized that its one of the only movies I've purchased before actually seeing. I would only take that chance on Disney. If it has Walt's name on it I'm probably going to love it!
You know how sometimes in a "get to know you" situation people will ask you that dumb question- if you could meet one person from history alive or dead who would it be. well I finally realized I would LOVE to meet Walt Disney himself. The man was an inspired genius, and has brought pure joy to my life- so why wouldn't I want to meet him!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Hello? are you still out there??
I am going to get on my soap box. Today I volunteered to help collect the trash through the church building. Not a big deal it takes about 5 minutes. However, about a year ago the men in the ward were responsible for taking down the chairs in the building and gathering all the trash. They took turns assigning the job to different guys each week. WELL, some of the boys (and yes I use the word BOYS deliberately rather than the word MEN) got tired of it and passed half the building to the women, the side with all the dirty diapers. whatever- well recently the boys have now decided that the women should also take down chairs on that same side of the building. Um excuse me- have you ever tried to take down multiple chairs while wearing heals and a skirt- its not that easy. One or two chairs is fine but over and over it gets a bit awkward. PLUS hello?? what happened to all the gentlemen. But what is really sparking this post is the fact that at least five of the boys in my ward watched me walk a full trash bag out to the dumpster at the other end of the parking lot (one boy was about ten feet in front of me and didn't bother to take the bag from me). What the heck!! I'm sorry but perhaps this is the reason these boys are not married or even seriously dating anyone- because they are thoughtless selfish cry babies. I don't mind helping but I do mind the expectation. Be a gentleman- stop depending on your looks to get you dates and try a bit of chivalry- it will get you farther in the long run!
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