Something to Think About...

 So I'm really good at blogging.  Looks like it's been 8 years since my last post.  My kids woke me up at 4:15 this morning so here I am, sitting in the dark quiet house, with time to think.  With 3 small kids you can imagine how often that happens.  I've been thinking a lot about addiction lately.   Almost every time I get on social media.

I see posts about all kinds of addictions.  Starbucks, cookies, coke, shoes, Disney, Netflix shows, working out, etc.  It's interesting to me because I think our society would still universally agree that drug and alcohol addictions are a problem and people suffering need help.  Yet most other addictions are embraced and seem to almost be a source of pride.  

Now before I continue let me say that I am not singling anyone out.  I have my own issues with sugar.  so I am not excluding myself from these thoughts.  

Why is it bad to have an alcohol addiction but not coffee or coke? Because alcohol can cause to serious health problems when consumed in large quantities.  well, so can soda and caffeine.   Obviously I know that alcohol addiction can lead to much more serious consequences.  A diet coke or a latte are not going to, in most cases, cause car accidents or liver failure.  What they do is add calories to our diet.  They add weight to our bodies.  They create a dependency- "I can't function till I've had my..."  They nickel and dime us out of our financial security.  Sure, one coffee isn't going to break the bank...but one or in some cases two everyday of the month for 12 months is a good chunk of change. 

before you get the impression I'm just here to pick on caffeinated beverages- I'm not specifically.  I see the same issue with people who claim a Disney addiction or a travel addiction in general.  While there is nothing inherently wrong with either- it is a drain on your time, energy, and finances.  

If you are in a place where you are retired or using pto, and you can pay for your travels and you aren't having to sacrifice more important things then by all means go see the world.  But that sounds like a vacation rather than an addiction.  Everyone needs a recharge.    

I'm talking to the ones who miss important family time, who put their annual passes on credit because they can't afford them but they HAVE to go, people who can't move forward in life because they are too busy being peter pan, etc.  

Most things in moderation can be fine.  The gym for example is a good thing.  It's good to exercise and take care of your body.  But when we become focused on our physical appearance at the cost of other important things- we maybe have crossed the line into addiction.  Where is that line? it's different for each person.  But I would say when something switches from just being something you like to do into something you HAVE to do...maybe it's time for some self reflection.  Almost anything can become an addiction if we let it.

Why do we do this? We wear our addictions like a badge of honor.  We are proud of our weaknesses.  We let other people and marketing control our health, spending, time, energy...we've handed over our agency for what? 

what do we get from embracing these addictions? I am seriously asking... What do we get by embracing our addictions when they cost so much?  our time, our marriages, our health, our financial security, our relationships, our self control, etc.  

I heard some good advice a few years ago- And I will say it's easier said than done sometimes but I am trying to remind myself everyday

"Don't give up what you want most for what you want right now"  

Are we embracing our addictions at the cost of our long term goals? Just something to think about...

Operation Ladies Man

Friday night my stake went ice skating.  I wasn't going to go because I had to work early Saturday but at the last minute I decided to suck it up and be social.  which turned out to be the right decision.  Why you ask?  Well, this.  This post is why.
I was wandering around the arena pretending to be a social butterfly when I ran into a guy who used to be in my ward.  I hadn't seen him in a year...maybe two and thankfully I remembered his name.  We talked for a second and then he says to his girlfriend, " this is operation ladies man" to which she responded with complete understanding.  I, however, was still totally confused.  Seeing my confusion he decided to fill me in... Since it was about me anyway.
Apparently back when he was in the ward someone told him... Or he overheard me say that I don't date guys in my ward.  He naturally decided that this statement was made not as truth but as a challenge.  A challenge that he and two other guys made their personal mission to take on.  They used a risk board and mapped out exactly how the task was to be accomplished.  They were going to corner me at a ward activity and this guy was going to ask me on a date in front of 20 people and the bishop.  The faulty logic here is that I would be unable to say no.  They called it operation ladies man.
This is where I have to laugh because clearly these guys knew nothing about me.  That kind of peer pressure has never worked on me.  I don't care if I look like a jerk, I don't do things I feel pressured into.  And also, how mean is it to put someone in that position?  Why would you even want to go out with someone you knew doesn't want to be with you? 
I had a good laugh with this guy at the arena and he confessed at the end of the conversation that he decided not to go through with the plan because, (and I quote) "you seem like you have a fierce personality and I figured if you went you would probably be angry about it the whole time"  to which I told him he was absolutely correct.  I do not like to be coerced into things...especially things that should be fun.  Fact is, even if I want to do something, if I feel forced or pressured I won't want to do it anymore.  Ask my mom how many times I cleaned my room when she told me I had to...
The best part about his plan was that one of his co-conspirators tried his it and asked me out in front of the bishop and I still said no.  He later "blackmailed" me into going and I was bugged pretty much the whole time.
 If these boys (yes boys) wanted to succeed, patience would have been better than pressure.  I knew my rule was stupid and I have since broken it several times but only with people who became my friends and talked to me and asked me out in ways that showed respect for me  and my agency.
Happily my friend from the skating arena is now dating a beautiful and sweet lady and seems to be exceptionally happy.  So everything worked out in the end.  Except operation ladies man.

A Cold Ride To Work...

Some people would call my car a an old piece of junk.  I however call it awesome.  Yes it is half my age but it runs really well still.  I have very few problems with it considering its age.  I am really the only one ever in it so it actually looks pretty good.  It might be for this reason I get so upset when something does need to be repaired.  I am not used to it.  I also don't have a lot of free days to just drop my car off and not have a mode of transportation.

Yesterday I left work and got in my car.  It was a little warm in the car so I hit the power window button to crack it and let in some cold air.  I barely hit the button and "thump" ... The glass was gone. My car door had eaten my window.  I panicked just a little and regretted my decision to open the window.  I called my mom to ask if I could borrow her car to go to work the next day because obviously I could not leave it in the mall parking lot for 9 hours with the window completely gone.  Besides theft being an issue we have really unpredictable weather here.  I could come back to a soaking wet car.

Unfortunately my mom reminded me that she and my dad had to work the early morning shift at the temple.  They leave an hour apart and would need both their cars.  She did tell me that if I wanted to wake up and drive her to the temple at 4am I could use her car as back up.  I reluctantly agreed.  What other choice did I have?  I needed to go to work and I needed a car to do it.

Naturally I didn't really fall asleep all night.  I was too afraid I would over sleep.  I got up, dropped my mom off, and went home to sleep a little longer.  And then when my alarm went off at 7 am I had a terrible time getting up.  Suddenly, even though I got in bed at 9:30pm, my body was ready to sleep.   I lectured myself out of bed and got ready for work.  I called the service shop to see if they could fit me in and miraculously the said they could.  Good news: my car was getting fixed.  Bad news: I got up at 4 for no reason.

I jumped in my car and onto the freeway with my drivers side window ALL the way down.  People probably thought I was crazy.  It was for sure the coldest ride to work I have ever made.  My hair was wet which made it so much worse.  I dropped it off and walked 20 minutes to work.  My co-workers had a good laugh at my expense. Which I deserved...it is kind of funny.  Long story short and $600 later-my car is fixed.

Ice Cream Anyone??

This morning as I was eating my ice cream I was struck by an interesting thought.  Yes...it was sparked by ice cream.  My friend Morgan introduced me to a new flavor created by my true loves Ben & Jerry.  It's called peanut butter world.  As I was scarfing on my new love I questioned why I was enjoying it so much.  Most people are probably thinking, "duh it's ice cream! who wouldn't enjoy it?"  well...me.  I don't actually love ice cream. I don't hate it but I am really picky about which ice cream I like and don't like.  And one thing I don't like is chocolate ice cream.  I actually hate chocolate ice cream.  This new flavor I love is...Chocolate.  go figure.  What is the moral of this story?  Try new things because you never know what you might be missing out on. 

just so we are clear I still prefer frozen yogurt and I still don't like chocolate ice cream.  But I do love peanut butter world.  The End.

Please, Avert Your Eyes

I love my job.  I meet the most interesting people.  Sometimes it's great...sometimes it's just...well... interesting.  Let me illustrate what I mean.

I was working over in the body store running go backs when I see this guy walking through the store.  whenever I see a guy in my store I immediately ask if I can help them with something.  Get them what they need and get them out.  So this particular guy says, "I just need an opinion from you."  So he shows me two different shoes in an Eddy Bauer catalogue and asks which ones I like better.  I went through the standard questions, what are you wearing them with? what are they for?  He told me to just pick.  So I gave him my opinion- assuming it was maybe something he had to do for school.  But to my surprise (sort of) he didn't leave.  He kept talking to me.  Asking me if I was in school, what was my major?  Then he goes off on a creepy tangent about diverting his eyes and about his experience in Victoria's Secret last week (umm...you do this on a regular basis?) and how he had no idea that bras came in so many styles and colors.  Guess you aren't so good at averting your eyes after all.    He also tells me he is a massage therapist and hands me his card.  Then he dives right in with, "so would you like to have lunch with me sometime? or are you dating someone?" 
To which I of course lied.  "yes I am dating someone". 
Thinking this was the quickest way to get him to just go away.  But it wasn't.  I should have known.  He then says, "well are you engaged?" 
"No, it's not that serious." 
"well then would you get a Jamba juice with me?"
"I just told you I was dating someone."
" yeah, but you said it wasn't serious."

Wow- I'm completely stunned at this point.  He continued to push for another few minutes.  Telling me about country dancing down at BYU.   He finally gave up saying that he is really good at reading body language and that he can feel if he pushes any more I am going to freak out.  News flash buddy I was already freaking out... you just couldn't tell because I had my work face on.  He was talking to me for about 15 minutes and I wish I could remember more of the details...it was priceless really.  I guess the point of this post is to reassure the public that I haven't lost my touch for attracting creepers.  I have had more than my fair share.  So even though my posts have been few and far between lately...I think the wait was worth it.  Dear Lingerie loser...please never come into my store again. 

A Level Below

I have discovered a new level in emotional relationships. (If you have not read my blog on relationship levels please click HERE) The highest being a Crush.  Less intense is a crinkle and the lowest level of interest being A Dog ear.  For those who don't understand, a dog ear  or ear marking a page is when you fold over the corner so you can come back to your spot at a later date.  That is the lowest level "crush" in known existence.  I didn't realize this until just a few weeks ago.  I was talking to a guy- I knew it wasn't really a crinkle because I wasn't even sure I liked him most of the time.  I talked to him because he talked to me but he was exhausting to talk to. The only thing he'd really ever say is, "hey what's up?" or something along those lines.  In all honesty he could have stopped talking at any time and I probably wouldn't have noticed.  And, in fact, he did.  Just a day after I last heard from him facebook told me he was in a relationship.  That is when I discovered the existence of the 'dog ear'.  If I had even been invested at the crinkle level I would have been disappointed.  But I wasn't.  I really couldn't have cared less.  I think I WANTED to be more disappointed than I was.  But you can't force a feeling.  At this point I was talking to my friend Megan about my lack of feeling over the situation and we realized there is a level lower than a crush.  This boy was a page I didn't really want to stay on, or a book I didn't want to keep open, but that page was interesting enough to ear mark.  Just in case I ever wanted to go back.  But in this particular case I won't be re-opening that book!

Three Generations

This week was a crazy one.  Crazy but really eye opening.  Overall a really really good week.  My second oldest nephew went into the MTC (Missionary Training Center) on Wednesday and I am so very pleased with his decision to share his testimony of Jesus Christ.  In just a few weeks my oldest nephew will join him.  I can hardly believe they are that old but I am so happy for them both!

Because of their decisions to serve we were all able to attend the Temple together this last Tuesday.  wow, if ever I have wanted to take a picture in the temple it was Tuesday afternoon.  I did not take a physical picture but I spent quite a long time making a mental picture.  I know this sounds cheesy but it was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen.  My two nephews sat together on a couch with smiles on their faces.  Just to their right was my mom, surrounded by my older brother and his wife, my oldest sister and her husband, and my "little" brother and his pregnant wife (so excited about the new baby).  Their faces so happy and peaceful. I sat next to my dad and we both, with tears in our eyes, tried to absorbed the scene before us.  Three generations of my family together, all dressed in white.  I know it maybe sounds simple and unimpressive but it made a huge impression on me.

It impressed upon my heart that my family is eternal.  That although marriage isn't always easy it is worth it.  I knew all of this but to be honest it's been a long time since I've spent any time really thinking about it.  I am so grateful to my parents for sticking it out 40+ years and to my grandparents before them.  So grateful they taught me that some things are bigger than ourselves and our immediate wants.  I am so grateful for the temple.  For knowledge that my family will be my family forever and that the experience I had last Tuesday can be one of many many more.  I love my family.  Each one of them, although they are not perfect, has been an example to me.  I have learned so much from each of them and they have made me who I am today. 

Dumpster Diving

If you want to see some strange things just spend a little time at the mall.  Yesterday on my way to my car...actually, let me back up a bit.  A few days ago the boutique white house black market closed at my mall.  Because of this there is a huge dumpster in the parking lot for them to toss all their junk in.  now, back to last night.  I am walking out to my car and I see a girl climb up and look into the dumpster.  She then gets down and they boy she is with climbs up and into the dumpster.  Sick.  I immediately start thinking of all the nasty germs.  And I maybe started quoting 'Better Off Dead' to myself. "Its a shame folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy."

So this boy is in the dumpster and he starts handing down half forms. (mannequins that are made of fabric with no head and no limbs.)  By the time I got close she had put 3 in her car.  He must have asked her the question I was thinking, "what are you going to do with these?"  because I heard her say, "you know.  You can  decorate them...and like put them in your house and stuff." 

We have a hoarder in the making folks.  What kind of person decorates their house with mannequins?  She probably saw it on pinterest.  How would you decorate a mannequin anyway?  Also gross.  They are fabric so they can't really be washed and here is a fact:  Just because the dumpster is currently filled with life size dolls and cardboard does not mean that is what was in it last time it was full.  They do not sanitize those before they rent them to the next person.  So who knows what germs are now nicely embedded in your new 'decorations'.  I'm sorry.  I just think it's weird.

You Look Like a Real Prince but...

I read one of my favorite books tonight.  I think I've mentioned it before.  The Paper Bag Princess.  It's a children's book.  But not really.  Yes, children will be entertained by it but the message is for adults as well. 

The story line is as follows,  A fire breathing dragon burns down her castle and steals her fiance away.  She is left with nothing but ashes and an old paper bag.  After donning the bag she follows the dragon, outsmarts him, and saves her fiance.  This is how the book ends:

He looked at her and said, "Elizabeth, you are a mess!  you smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag.  Come back when you are dressed like a real princess."

"Ronald," said Elizabeth, "your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat.  You look like a real prince, but you are a bum."  They didn't get married after all.

why do I love this book with it's non traditional happy ending? Because she dodges a bullet.  To think, she almost married that bum.  That shallow man who didn't appreciate her brains, her determination, and her commitment.  In the first place- Ronald should have been attempting to save himself.  Second, he should have loved her not in spite of her haggard appearance but because of it.  So kudos to you Elizabeth.  Go use your life loving skills to find a real prince who can see past your paper bag.  ;)

I Can't Get No...Satisfaction.

Do you ever get cravings for things? And no, I am not talking about food.  Like for example, the other day I was leaving work and as I walked through the parking lot a jet flew over my head.  I suddenly had a very strong craving to get on a plane and go somewhere.  This morning I got a craving to be in school.  Law school to be exact.  Other things I crave, rodeos, shooting, Disneyland, dancing....sometimes I just have insuperable cravings for big expensive, impractical, or impulsive things.  I suppose that these unfulfilled cravings make me a better person...right?  Please say yes. 

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Tonight I went out with my girls.  Rules for tonight no boys and everyone has to dress in something that makes them feel great. The plan for tonight?  Dinner and drinks afterward.  Secretly I was hoping, as I always do when I enter main stream Provo on date night, that I will get some really good material for this blog.  Well I guess wishes come true because I got something- But not in the way I had hoped.

Two things about me and restaurants: 

1. working retail myself, I am generally pretty patient with my servers.  I don't expect a lot.  I just want to be acknowledged.  If you are busy- tell me.  Just let me know that I have not been forgotten.

2.  If I am not ordering very much I usually tip even better because I know you pay your bills with tips.  Instead of the standard 15-20% I will usually pay more like 75-150%...depending on what my bill is. 

Now with that in mind I am going to tell you that tonight I had the worst customer experience at a restaurant EVER.  After being at the Olive Garden for two hours tonight (our server was newish- nice but not really great with efficiency) my friends and I drove half an hour south to a restaurant in downtown Provo called Spark restaurant.  It's been open a couple of years and I have wanted to go for awhile.   

When we got there I was a little let down because it wasn't at all what I was expecting but the Host was super nice and really attentive.  He continued to check back with us and let us know he was still working on getting our table.  Which was fine.  It's Friday night and we expected a little bit of a wait.  After about 20 minutes he sat us at a table and then our server came. 

She took our order and was a little bugged that we were only ordering drinks.  When she brought our drinks, she asked if we wanted anything else.  We told her no we were good for now.  The next 30 min or so were great.  We laughed and tried each other's drinks- it was exactly what it should have been.  Until we all finished our drinks.  I had kind of been thinking that I wanted to try a different one but after about 20 minutes of watching our server on the other side of the restaurant or flirting with the other server I decided it wasn't worth the wait for her to come back.  At this point we all decided we were ready to leave.  We sat at our table for about 20 minutes when "her boyfriend" server, probably seeing my annoyed face, came to ask if we needed anything.  My friend responded without pause that we'd like our check.  He asked how we'd like it and brought us our checks.  We each paid in cash thinking that would speed things up but I needed change.  There was NO WAY on this earth that I was giving her a $6 tip for a $3 drink.  I might have if she'd been really good- but she wasn't even mediocre. 

Another ten minutes went by and still no one had come to get our money.  Behind the bar were two employees and the "boyfriend" server who brought our checks.  I picked up all our checks and took them over.  I spoke to him, rather calmly actually- it wasn't his fault our server sucked, and told him I just needed a $5 bill.  "No one else wanted change and we had a bit of a drive to go home.  I am and have been ready to leave for over 20 minutes."  Instead of just helping me or asking the host to help (which is who I should have gone to in the first place) he took them over to our server.  Who again left us waiting for another 10 minutes!  Who stays at a restaurant for an hour and a half for ONE drink when all the tables aren't full and have not been all night?? 

Nothing ruins an experience like having to stay after the fun has ended.  When she finally did come back, she not very sincerely said, "sorry about the wait".  That would have worked about 20 minutes ago- but since you haven't been back to our table in at least 40 minutes it just isn't cutting it.  Not only did your lack of attention lower sales since myself and another friend both opted NOT to order another drink, but you also lowered your tip significantly- by the time we were ready to pay we were all so over you. When you first came to the table your exact words were, "I am going to take care of you tonight".  Well you are a Liar.  You barely acknowledged our existence. And YOU made my first trip to Spark Restaurant my last.  The drinks were not great and the service was even worse.  Not worth the gas it took to drive there. 

Dear snotty pants server- you have a job because people come to your restaurant.  If you ignore us because you don't think we are spending enough we will not come back.  Repeat customers are your best job security.  If I have a good experience I tell two or three people.  When I have a negative experience I post it on my public blog for the world to see.  So...did I get blog material tonight? yes...along with a horrible experience.  Guess I should be more careful about what I wish for. 

Shhhh...It's a secret

Over the last several weeks I have had some eye opening conversations with some of my male friends.  I've been talking to a couple friends about girls they are interested in and been shocked to find that, as much as I refused to believe it, a lot of guys are afraid of girls.  Which in some cases is totally justified.  Girls can be crazy.  But most of us are not. 

Both guys (separate from one another) told me about a girl they were interested in and their plan to talk to said girl.  They then proceeded to ask something to the effect of:  "but would that be weird?"  "is that creepy?" "Will she think I'm crazy?". 
My response is simply that you are over thinking things.  Fact is, there is no definite answer.  But here is a little secret: 
If she is interested in you she won't think it's weird.  She will be flattered to have the attention.  If she isn't interested- yes you will probably be blogged about and filed away as a creeper ;)

But I'm kind of serious.  You just won't know what she will think until you try.  I know it's scary but you are just going to have to gain (or fake) a little bit of confidence and jump in with both feet.  One of two things will occur:
1.  She's interested and you get a date
2.  She thinks your a creeper, and you can dust your shoulder off and find a girl worth your time.

Think of all the time that's wasted hemming and hawing over all those "what ifs" ... Just do it.  I think you will find that unless she's a spoiled princess, she is not going to shoot you where you stand for saying hi, or sending a text/message, or asking her out.  We may not want to marry you but most of us are pretty nice. 

The Unexplained....

WHAT. THE. HECK?!  So back in...oh maybe the end of October my body store got packaged PJ sets.  Just before black Friday they went on promotion.  Here is the story with packaged PJ'S...everyone wants to undo them so they can look at them but they don't want to buy the one they opened.  So every year I try and make a preemptive strike and set up a display of each style and at least one of each size.  This year I put out my display and by the time I came back into work I had a pair of PJ pants and no shirt.  I set the pants aside just waiting for the shirt to turn up... maybe someone tried it on and it got separated.  Well I waited and waited and finally after Christmas I price killed the pants and just sold them on their own for way discounted. 

GUESS WHAT showed up today.  on the 25th day of January??  THE FLIPPING SHIRT!  Are you kidding me?!?!  It's been missing for two months- the only possible solution...Big Foot.  It's the only thing that makes sense.  ;)

Smack YOU!

Gum.  I used to love the stuff.  Not because I love Gum really but more out of a perpetual fear of bad breath.  I chewed gum for hours every day...and then my jaw decided to lock and I was forced to end my long complicated relationship.  I have been gum free for 3 years now.  Perhaps this is the reason I feel so strongly about what I am about to say. 

NO ONE ELSE SHOULD KNOW YOU ARE CHEWING GUM!

Seriously, if you are over 15 you are not allowed to chew gum in public.  It is so gross when a middle aged adult smacks their gum.  A man came into my store today and I seriously could hear him chewing across the room.  He was probably at least in his 50s and I could barely concentrate on anything he was saying because all I heard was gum smacking.  ewww.  Gross. 

Chew your gum if you must but I don't want to hear it.  Keep it to yourself. The End. 

The Cart Was Pushing Me...

I have not blogged in weeks.  Mostly because I have just been so tired...even if I had the time to write it would have not been much...my brain has not been functioning at full capacity.  So even now I am not going to try to be witty or clever.  I am simply going to share with you a story I found while preparing my lesson...one that is fantastic but maybe a little too "deep" for an introduction to the Doctrine and Covenants lesson. I enjoyed it all the same and thought someone else might as well. 

 

James E. Faust:

“Some years ago president David O. McKay told from this pulpit of the experience of some of those in the Martin handcart company. Many of these early converts had emigrated from Europe and were too poor to buy oxen or horses and a wagon. They were forced by their poverty to pull handcarts containing all of their belongings across the plains by their own brute strength. President McKay relates an occurrence which took place some years after the heroic exodus:

 

“A teacher, conducting a class, said it was unwise ever to attempt, even to permit them [the Martin

handcart company] to come across the plains under such conditions.[According to a class member,]
some sharp criticism of the Church and its leaders was being indulged in for permitting any company of converts to venture across the plains with no more supplies or protection than a handcart caravan
afforded. An old man in the corner… sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it, then he arose
and said things that no person who heard him will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity. In substance [he] said, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here, for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there, too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Not one of that company ever apostatized or left the Church, because everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities. ‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’ He continues: ‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there. ‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’ (Relief Society Magazine,Jan. 1948, p. 8.)

Here then is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd. Into every life there
come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of
anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process.…The proving of one’s faith goes before the witnessing, for Moroni testified, ‘Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith’ (Ether 12:6). This trial of faith can become a priceless experience.” (Conference Report, May 1979 Ensign, “The Refiner’s Fire”

Impromptu Parking Lot

It takes about 9ish hours to drive from my house to Anaheim California.  Not a bad trip really.  As some of you know I recently went to Disneyland...yes, again.  Anyway, we were right on schedule to arrive in Anaheim at about 3pm.  Which is perfect because if you hit L.A. any later than that you will be enjoying a lengthy interaction with rush hour traffic.  For those of you who don't know, there is pretty much one way into LA county.  We were on that road, when we hit bumper to bumper traffic.  After about 30 minutes of driving at 2mph we finally pulled off to the side of the road.  yes my friends- we parked our car on the freeway.  We joined what looked like 20 or so other cars on the shoulder and got out for a little stroll.  About five minutes after we stopped, the entire freeway shut down.  Everyone was forced to turn their cars off and just wait.  Hundreds of cars were parked on the road.  Awesome.  The interesting part of the whole experience for me was watching the reactions of other people.  There were a few choice words thrown around by one or two men in their shirt and ties but for the most part, everyone was super calm about it.  People pulled out footballs and were playing games.  The guy in front of me pulled out a bag of chips and a mountain dew and just sat on his car.  Everyone just accepted it and made the most of the situation.  I really was stunned by the whole thing and couldn't help asking myself, "if this happened at the point of the mountain in Utah, would my fellow motorists be this calm?"  Sadly I had to answer myself that no, I don't believe they would be.  I could be wrong...but honestly I hope I never get to find out.  The freeway, after 3 hours, finally opened up just in time for us to his rush hour traffic.  So after adding on about 5 hours to my trip we did eventually make it into Anaheim...where all my dreams came true!... okay they didn't.  But I did have an amazing two days in my favorite place ever!

Not My First Trip

So...as many of you know I am no stranger to awkward experiences.  And guess what? I'm about to share another one.  First- the reader's digest version of the story:

About 3 or 4 years ago (I can't remember now) this guy found me on facebook and asked me on a date.  My first reaction was to say no but my mom gave me the "you need to be more open minded" lecture and I relented and said yes.  He took me to tucanos for dinner which would have been fun except my jaw was locked at the time so I really couldn't chew anything but pineapple.  The wait to get in was over an hour so I asked a lot of questions and tried to be a fun date.  While waiting we ran into my brother's friend and he says to me, "so, how long have you two been dating?".  Umm...nope. we aren't.  As we are eating dinner, the waiter then asks, "how long have you two been married?"  Later in the meal my date keeps saying awkward things to me like, "you have a really beautiful mouth"  by this point in the date I have already figured out that I will not need a second date with this guy.  After dinner we went to twilight (I think) and after the movie he tells me that I look like Kristen Stewart.  I hate Kristen Stewart.  so not a good move on his part. 
After the date I tell him thanks but that I really am not interested in going out again but somehow the guy talks me into another date.  I still to this day am not sure how he managed that.  Anyway- he is divorced with two kids and over the next few weeks he starts showing up, with his kids, to the mall to take me to lunch on my breaks.  Which some people might find charming but his kids were fighting over who got to sit by me and the little girl would scream and cry if I didn't hold her.  It was really weird.  He went to Hawaii and sent me a post card.  He would leave poems and pictures of roses he had drawn out of letters and symbols on my facebook wall.  he would send me long messages of nonsense.  I ended up going out with him a few more times (even though I really didn't want to) and finally I just told him we were done and were never going to be more than friends.  He asked if we could still see each other and go on dates and I said no.  So he un-friended me on facebook and stopped talking to me.  Perfect.  I never thought of this guy again.  Until this last Friday night.  dun dun dun...

Friday and Saturday this last week I was asked to sing at a family festival with the Hale center theater orem.  I got up, sang my song for a few hundred people, then went to the side of the stage to wait for the others to finish singing their songs.  As I'm standing there talking to a friend I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I turn around and there is this guy from three years ago.  This is how the conversation went:

Guy:  Hey, you did a really great job!
Me: Oh hey! Thank you.  How've you been?
Guy: How do I know you??
At this point I'm totally shocked.  What do you mean HOW do you know me?  I may not remember the names of all my blind dates but I do remember THEM.  Especially people I've been out with more than one time.  But hey if he didn't remember I sure wasn't going to be the one to remind him.
Me: oh gosh it was so long ago I'm not totally sure.  Maybe facebook?!
Guy: oh okay my name is so and so... and great job on your song.
Me: Thanks!

He walks away leaving me to wonder...did he really not remember a whole month of his life?  Or was he just testing me to see if I would say something?  Maybe he was crazy stalker date with every girl and just had so many he doesn't remember me.  Just because I never forget anyone's face doesn't mean everyone else is the same.  Maybe he got in a horrible accident and suffered memory loss.  Or maybe he is just awkward and instead of being an adult (in his thirties) and just saying "hi how are you?" he decided to play games and try and make me feel bad/awkward for the past.  But I don't.  I was honest from the beginning and he manipulated me and my emotions, dragging the whole thing out longer than it needed to be.  If he was hurt it was his own fault, but apparently he recovered just fine and has blocked the whole experience out of his mind.  Thank you ten second tom for, what was to me, an unforgettable experience.  But I am sorry to inform you that was not my first trip around the awkward block. 

Stranger Danger?

I love dressing up.  I love that Halloween is a nationally sanctioned excuse to dress up as someone other than me.  I love fall, I love candy, I love Halloween movies...Hocus Pocus anyone?  This year it took me forever to come up with a costume.  Usually I've got it planned by June so I have time to create whatever dreadfully expensive and elaborate idea I've thought up but this year- nothing.  Finally a few weeks ago the idea to be Kat Von D popped into my head and I went with it. 

A costume like that still takes a few hours so I started getting ready in shifts.  I put on all my tattoos (except the sleeves) and half of my make up and then went shopping with some friends.  Halfway through our excursion I forgot all about the giant tattoo I had on my neck.  As I'm walking around I notice people staring at me... but then when I look up they look away quickly.  Or there were the other ones who didn't look away and gave me their best look of disgust.  I couldn't figure out why people were judging me.  And then I remembered the tattoos. 

Anyone who knows me well or for any length of time knows I'm about as straight laced as they come.  I have never before been judged by mass quantities of strangers.  What started as a quick trip to find my friend a costume turned into a really great learning experience for me.  I suddenly understood what it felt like to be judged completely by what I looked like.  I was categorized because of a $5 stick on tattoo.  It really felt awful. These people wrote me off without knowing a single thing about me.  I knew it was a temporary tattoo and that tomorrow people would stop judging me on it...but to know that happens to people all the time just makes me feel kind of sick.  And it's not just tattoos or piercings but we lump people into categories all the time.  That's what people do right? I can't change that.  But what I can change is the way I respond to people.  I like to think I'm a little more open minded than my "friends" in walmart (yeah of all places right?) but I will for sure be more aware of my thoughts and action toward others.  Maybe even smile at strangers.  I like to give people to benefit of the doubt- you never know when they will surprise you. 

I Have But One Regret...

I don't really believe in regret.  I mean, I believe it's a real thing but I don't let myself dwell on the past.  It can't be changed so the best thing to do is learn what you need to learn and move onto your future.  Because of this philosophy I don't really think about the regrets I have in life...mostly I tell myself I don't have any.  But if I'm being honest with myself I do.  Some are bigger than others of course but there is something to learn from them all:

1. I regret not starting voice lessons sooner. 
  I hate that I let my fear of failure and the opinions of others prevent me from doing what I loved for so long! If I had just jumped in with both feet I maybe wouldn't still get so nervous when I sing in front of people.

2.  I regret not using the recording studio time I won at N.A.T.S. two years ago.  I couldn't decide what I wanted to sing so I threw it under my bed and forgot about it until it had expired.  Awesome right.  Just throw away a couple hundred dollars. 

3.  I regret not driving across the freeway to spend more time with Carly.  We were best friends since we were six years old.  Then we went to different high schools and I didn't ever see her.  When I got my license I should have driven the ten minutes to hang out.  Now I don't have the option. 

4.  I had an Ex (who will remain nameless) that treated me like a queen and I didn't appreciate him.  I don't regret our breaking up- I just wish I would have treated him better while we were together.  He really was a great guy.  Just not for me.

That is not bad right? four major regrets in 29 years.  But like I said, I can't change the choices I made.  So what did I learn?  I learned that fear can steal quite a bit of your life before you even realize it's happened.  I learned that I can't let my fear of failure prevent me from trying things.  It's okay to not be perfect at everything.  I learned that if you don't make decisions on your own life and the passage of time will take the decision away from you.  The opportunity of a lifetime is only good for the lifetime of the opportunity.  The door closed on my free recording time -because I let it.  I wasn't sure what I wanted so I ended up with nothing.  Something would have been better than what I've got now.  I learned that great friendships are deserving of my time.  That I need to take advantage of the time I have with people because they will be gone some day.  And although I cherish the memories we have...It would have been great to have more.  And finally I learned that I need to treat people better!  Even if I do want them to go away... it's better to be honest than to drag someone along.  As uncomfortable as it is- I need to always be honest and upfront with people and appreciate all the great qualities they have to offer. So you see, regret can be a good thing if it propels us forward and ultimately helps us to become a better version of ourselves.  I know I am better for every one of these experiences. 

Do I Look Fat In This...??

Entrapment:  The luring by a law-enforcement agent of a person into committing a crime.  Okay- you are thinking "wow, that was random"  but I promise you it is NOT.  you have all hear the question, "Do I look fat in this..."  Same concept.  Person A lures person B into committing a crime.  They either have to lie or get in trouble for offending person A. 

Moral of the story: 

    DO NOT ask questions you don't really want the answers to. 

I taught myself this lesson a few years ago and have saved myself from unnecessary emotional wreckage.  How does one learn this lesson?  The key is- not to ask them until you are prepared to hear and accept ANY answer.  I usually think out the questions I'm going to ask.  Then I prepare myself for all the worst possible answers to the question.  If I am or can get to a point where I can accept the worst answer- then I allow the question to be asked out loud.  If I am not okay with the worst possible answer I don't let myself ask the question.  If I can handle the worst I can for sure handle the best. 

so to everyone in my life- if I ask you an awkward or uncomfortable question you don't have to worry about giving me the "right" answer- if I'm asking I've thought it through and I REALLY want to know the honest answer.  I suggest everyone learn this strategy.  Why? Because if you always ask questions expecting a specific answer you will be disappointed more often than not.  Also- Entrapment is never cool.  It's unfair and creates tension where it doesn't need to be.  So if you aren't prepared to hear that you look fat in that dress- don't ask!!

A Good Man Is Hard To Find...

You know how they tell you that if you want to achieve something you should visualize it.  Picture yourself doing/being something.  Well I totally support that theory and I realized that I don't do it very often anymore.  Especially with dating...I can tell you what I DON'T want in a guy but I might have a hard time telling you what I do want.  I mean, besides the obvious- good hygiene, a job, active in the church.  Those are the three basics but beyond that....who knows. 
That being said I decided to start putting some thought into this particular subject and what better model for the ideal man than to turn to the ultimate source... Jane Austin.  Girl knows her stuff. 

For most people the first Austin character who comes to mind is none other than Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.   Mr. Darcy is not really my ideal man.  I do admire that he says what he thinks and is super observant.  He is also very rich...not a bad incentive.  However he lacks a sense of humor and he is a bit on the arrogant side.  He also has a horrible family. I would like to get along with my in-laws if possible. 

Col. Brandon, from Sense and Sensibility- not really my type either he is a little old.  He does have his good points as well- He knows what he wants and he is patient in getting it.  Really level headed guy and a gracious loser.  His qualities are to be admired but I need a man who doesn't let go so easily.  His confidence is a lacking and he almost loses the girl because of it.

Okay I cheated- I know this one is not an Austin man but he's still a good one.  Mr. Thornton from North and South.  He is a little hard. He works hard and doesn't really play.  He's educated and takes the time to better himself.  He supports his family and treats his momma well.  He speaks his thoughts with blunt honesty.  He has a bit of a temper but can be reigned in by a good persuasive woman.  This one is a pretty good one- I mean, he's got an awesome accent and Also, he is probably one of the best kissers I've ever seen ;) (maybe because he's NOT an Austin man)

Another good one from Sense and Sensibility- I do love me some Edward Farris.  He is easy going- doesn't take himself too seriously. He is loyal and honest.  He is kind and super thoughtful.  But he is almost too loyal- he almost misses out on his woman because he follows his conscience more strictly than his heart.  Which is great- unless I'm the one being given up.  But he is getting closer to the ideal man.  If we could put him and Mr. Thornton together we might be almost there. 

Mr. Knightly.  The hero from Emma.  Yep I think this is the one closest to my ideal. He is smart, successful, patient, thoughtful, kind, and honest.  He says what he thinks but he does it with tact.  He knows what he wants and he never takes his eye off the target.  But the thing I love the most, the very most, is that he gives Emma her way most of the time, he plays along with her ridiculous ideas but when she crosses the line, he calls her out on it and brings her back in line. My favorite line from the movie is, "Badly done Emma.  Badly done."  Maybe that sounds weird that I love that about him.  It's not though.  Like most women I like to get my own way 99% of the time- but I don't want a man that lets me walk all over him.  I need a man who isn't afraid of me and who respects me enough to stop me from doing something I'll regret later. But he needs to, like Mr. Knightly, understand exactly where that line is.  yep, If only I could find one of those....

What is that whistling sound?

Sometimes I wonder about mom's here in Utah county.  At the Gap we are getting new hardwood floors.  FINALLY!! They look awesome.  anyway, these new floors won't be completely done for about a month.  That means that right now our floors are plywood.  Unfinished, rough cut, splintery wood floors.  The floors aren't so bad when they are first laid but after a few days of fixtures being dragged across them and shoppers with strollers- there is chipping and breaking...  With that in mind I will tell you that today I saw 3 different toddlers running around the store with no shoes on.  Um, Mom your kid is going to get a dirty splinter in their foot and you are at the mall without tweezers.  So maybe either put the kid in the stroller you insisted on bringing in with you or put some dang shoes on the kid...it's really not rocket science.  Do what is best for you kids, not just what they like the best! 
Another mom- decided she would slide across the one finished section of floor with her boys.  Only problem was- mom was wearing heels.  Nice.  I wanted to tap her on the shoulder and say, "mom, how would you like it if I came into your newly remodeled kitchen and slid across your floors in my 4" heels?  Across those brand new floors you've been waiting ten years for- oh and I'm going to come do it before they are even done.  Before you have had a chance to see the finished product."  seriously I don't know what goes through these people's heads- besides air that is.   

 

I'd rather scrub the toilet

I would say I am a pretty organized and clean person.  I don't mind doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc.  I can do almost any chore/task and be fine- even enjoy it a little.  I will confess that there are two things I just don't like to do.  Not only do I not "like" to do them, it almost kills me to do them.  I put them off and off until I can't put it off anymore.  What are these horrific tasks? 
1.  Cutting my bangs.  I don't know why I hate to do it so much.  I cut people's hair all the time.  I guess if I had to come up with a reason I would say it's because I have to leave my eyes open and then I get hair slivers in my eyes.  Also, right after I cut them I have a hard time pulling them back- they are not long enough to stay in the bobby pins.
2.  Putting my laundry away.  I don't mind washing it but I just hate putting it away.  In fact, most of the time, I just wear my clothes off the dryer or off the end of my bed.  even right now I'm sitting across from a laundry basket of clean clothes that has been sitting on the fireplace for a week and a half.  (yes I still have enough clothing that I can leave half of it on the dryer for two weeks and not have a problem getting dressed).  I guess it has something to do with the fact that I work in a retail clothing store.  I put clothes away all the time and I guess when I get home the last thing I want to do is fold and put away more clothes.  Because at home no one is paying me to do it. 

I know they are ridiculous things.  But I kid you not, I'd rather clean the toilet or scrub the floor than put my clean clothes back where they go.  A minor vice- but I'm sure it will drive my future husband crazy.  Unless I no longer work retail- then maybe I can over come this flaw.  maybe. 

It Doesn't Have To Be So Bad...

Here are a few tips for successful dating.  I know that sounds ridiculous coming from me since I'm still single but I have been on A LOT of dates.  I see the same mistakes made over and over.  And really when I want to be, I can be a really really fun date.  So I think more people should not discount my advice.  I have directed my post toward men but ladies you can for sure benefit from this as well.  Most of these go both ways.  I only direct it toward men because typically they are the ones asking and planning the dates...or at least they should be.  (yes this is for real)

10.  Don't talk about the money you are spending.  $5 or $50 just don't bring it up, even jokingly.  It makes us feel a little awkward/guilty and it's kind of tacky.  You planned the date- if it's too expensive you should have planned something cheaper. 

9.  Don't over do your first date.  Keep it simple with lots of opportunity to talk.  If you can't carry on a conversation on the first date you might as well cut your losses now.  A more elaborate/expensive date does not guarantee she will like you more.  In fact it might be the opposite.

8.  if she doesn't return your call/texts- don't keep trying.  If the world were fair, She would just tell you she's not interested but let's be honest- most girls won't just come out and say it.  so salvage your pride and let it go.  If she changes her mind she's got your number. 

7.  Don't come on too strong.  Show your interest but give her a chance to miss you!  If your date is fantastic it's fine to text her the next day but don't over do it.  Allow her time to figure out if she likes you...let her think about you.  She can't do that if you don't give her some space.  Leave the conversation at a high point...leave her wanting more.  Think about it- Even if you love cheesecake you will be sick of it if someone asked you to eat too much of it at once.  Same idea here. Give her just enough to stay interested.

6. Don't get too physical too fast.  Even if a date is going well you might ruin things for the future if you push too fast.  Your date may leave feeling like that's all you want.  As the saying goes:

5.  Don't try to sell yourself to her- Ask her questions.  Find out about her!! Then Listen when she answers you.  That is the easiest way to keep a conversation going and figure out if you are compatible with this person. 

4. be respectful of your date and of their time.  People are busy these days.  If someone has taken time to go out with you- be fun.  use your time together well-don't play video games/watch YouTube videos/get stuck talking to other people, etc. (those have their time and place but not on a first or second date and please use in moderation) Men open doors and ladies thank him for it!

3.  Do Not text while on your date.  In fact, unless you have an emergency (which you should probably reschedule your date if that is the case) don't even take your phone out.  Turn it off.  Put it away.  Be in the moment.  You can talk to anyone else when you get home.

2.  Do not talk about ex's, past dates, other people you are attracted too.  unless for some freak reason it is relevant to the conversation and then don't dwell on it.  Live in the present. 

1.  Do not air all your dirty laundry.  We all have our past- your date doesn't need to know every thing you've ever done wrong in your lifetime.  Give them a chance to get to know who you are NOW before you tell them how you got there.  Telling your date too much before they are ready to hear it is an unfair position to put them in.

To Crush or Not to Crush?

I am going to go out on a limb and assume that most of you have had a crush on a person at some point in your life.  So you are pretty familiar with a "crush".  They call it that because you pretty much end up like this coke can here.  You obsess over this person.  You get butterflies everytime you see them.  They can pretty much do NO wrong.  You justify everything they do to manipulate the facts so that you still think there might be hope that this person could possibly return your feelings.  In the end, they usually don't and your hopes as well as your feelings...and usually your self-esteem end up "crushed".  Hence the name. 

Are we all clear on that?  Good.  Now let me explain a term less well known but one I am very very fond of.  A crinkle.  Yes you heard me right.  Fortunately, I have not had a crush since I was 21yrs old but I do at times harbor a crinkle.  What the heck is a crinkle?  Let me enlighten you. 

A crinkle is a low level crush but more than a passing interest.  A crinkle can dissipate as quickly as it develops.  It is an interest in someone but not one with a deep emotional connection.  A crinkle can be eradicated if that person says or does something stupid, doesn't reciprocate the interest, etc... Your hopes are not pinned on this person and you do not need to build them up or justify their actions.  It is possible, and highly likely, that a person will have more than one crinkle at a time.  If things don't work out you just move on.  Much like this piece of paper.  It's crinkled, but smooth it out a little and it's still usable. Unlike the crushed can.     

The reason for this post?  I was confessing a crinkle a few weeks ago to a good friend and she was not even sure what I meant...so hopefully I have cleared up any confusion between the terms.  :)  Crinkles are far less exhausting.  But they are also not as exciting.  And maybe a little more confusing- since your feelings can change from hour to hour.  So, if you suffer from either I wish you luck! 

 

And the Rains Came Tumbling Down

It rained today.  I love when it rains.  Maybe because it doesn't happen very often here in Utah but when it does...look out- cause it's awesome.  When it started to rain tonight I took a walk outside.  Yep, I walked barefoot in the rain.  I let my hair get wet and frizzy and I enjoyed every minute of it.  While I was out pretending to be a crazy person I remembered another day I walked in the rain...

I was 22 years old and in my 3rd year at BYU.  I had just finished a dance class in the Wilkinson center which is on the east side of campus and had about 8 minutes (after I changed out of my practice skirt and heels) to get to my next class on the west side of campus in the Richards building ( for those who don't know, the RB is down hill, down a VERY big hill with lots of stairs)  Walking quickly it takes the full 8 minutes.  As I approached the glass doors to exit the wilk I was horrified.  Sheets of rain were being dumped from the clouds.  I had a slight moment of panic when I realized I couldn't wait it out.  So I hiked up my big girl panties and pushed the doors open and started walking.  Unfortunately, I was in flip flops.  Have you ever tried to walk in water wearing flip flops?  It's suicide.  Not having time to walk carefully I took the dumb things off and kept right on walking.  I finally made it to the RB, walked through the class room door and was met with stunned faces.  My teacher looked horrified.  I was literally dripping.  My shirt was soaked to my skin and my hair was drenched.  I looked like I had just climbed in the shower fully clothed and then decided to come to class that way. 
Please remember that I have naturally wavy hair so as it dried I looked worse and worse.  Plus I had a couple more hours of sweaty dance classes so yeah... I looked awesome!  By the time I got home there was really no point in fixing myself up...I mean, half of BYU campus had already seen me and I was just going to bed soon anyway.  Oh except I didn't go to bed right away.... I rarely slept during this year of my life ( my roommates were too much fun to sleep). 

My roommates and I were throwing a dessert party on Sunday (this was Friday) and we decided we needed to go shopping for baking ingredients.  None of us really dated at BYU, probably because we had too much fun together.  So to Macey's grocery store on a Friday night we went.  We finished shopping and loaded up my trunk and began our drive back to our apartment south of campus.  I stopped at a light and a car pulled up next to us.  A car full of boys who were singing along to their music.  Awesome!  As the light changed my roommate in the back seat waved goodbye to the car full of men.  We drove straight.  They turned right.  The next thing I knew they had circled the block and pulled up on my driver's side.  The guy in the passenger seat asked where we were going and then asked if they could come.  I told him sure- the kid looked about 18 and I was 100% positive they were not really going to come...and if they did they wouldn't stay long.  As we pulled into the parking lot my roommate got out to tell them where to park and informed me that I had been wrong.  They were most definitely NOT 18.  whoops.  We ran upstairs, threw all our junk down the hall and closed the door.  A few seconds later I opened the door to a very tall good looking brunette who had been talking on his phone but was now starring at me.  At that point I remembered that I had not fixed myself from my mid-day jaunt through the rain and probably looked worse than a drowned rat.  Great. 

Well, these guys stayed for hours, called several of their friends and before we knew it we went from the single girls with no dates to the girls with 12 hotties in their apartment.  By the end of the night that good looking brunette had my number and he and his friends were coming back on Sunday for dessert night.  Which then turned into a 3 month relationship for me, super creative fun new friends, and a future marriage for one of those fantastic roommates of mine.  And that is the story I remembered in the rain tonight...that sometimes great experiences come from seemingly bad luck, that sometimes there are people who find you beautiful even when you don't feel it, and that you never know what adventures lay just around the corner....

Sometimes You Are Such A Girl

Men are always complaining that we women expect them to read our minds.  But I just need to say that men do the same thing!  Let me give you an example.  Today is my dad's birthday.  He sat around the house all day and did nothing.  That was his present to himself.  His only homework for the day was to pick where he wanted to eat dinner.  My mom and I went to education week at BYU and when we got home this is what transpired:

mom:  So, where would you like to go eat for your birthday dinner??
Dad:  Oh, I don't know.  Anywhere is fine.
Mom: okay then we are going to Costa Vida since it's close and easy.

Dad puts his shoes on and everyone gets in the car.  When we pull up to Costa Vida this is the conversation that took place:

Dad: have you ever eaten here before?
mom: no but Lori said it was good.
Dad: well I really wanted breakfast.
Mom:  why didn't you say that when I asked you?
Dad: because you had your mind set on this place already. (in his best pouting voice)

Seriously dad?  You had all day to think about it.  When asked you said you didn't know.  We go somewhere and NOW you have a sudden craving for breakfast?!?!  I just need to say that sometimes men are more like women than they take credit for.  Games like this are stupid...I think both genders should just say what they want instead of making the other jump through hoops to figure it out.  I do have to admit that tonight the role reversal was pretty funny. 

Happiness In Store- FALSE!

Some people are just crazy.  Tonight I learned that an employee at Petsmart feels that gold fish have more rights than people.  Yep.  I am not kidding.  Every year we (we means the Gap) volunteer to help with a carnival for big brothers big sisters non profit organization.  We have to host two carnival stations and one of them is the gold fish toss.  Get a ball into a jar and you get a goldfish to take home.  Today I called Petsmart to see how many goldfish they had in the store because we needed about 100 fish.  What happened to me when I called?....well, the associate was SO RUDE!!!

me: hi, how many fish can I buy at a time?
Girl:  that depends.
Me: Depends on what?
Girl: what are you feeding?
Me: I am not feeding anything I'm giving them away
Girl: did I talk to you ten minutes ago.
Me: No.  You didn't talk to ME.  But how many fish can I buy?
Girl: well what are you feeding?
Me: I already told you I'm not feeding anything I'm giving them to under privileged children.
Girl: well petsmart's policy is no fish for carnivals, weddings, or parties.


Um, I'm sorry.  What?!  You are refusing to sell me goldfish?  how often do they sell $30 worth of goldfish?  They are going to die in two days anyway- right?!  so let me get this straight- it's not okay to give the fish away because it might kill them but it is okay to FEED them to another fish???  Isn't the outcome the same.  Either way the fish dies.  So sell me the dumb fish and make your customers happy.  It is not any of your business what I'm doing with the fish.  You are a retailer and your job is to sell things, not to pry into my business and make sure what I'm doing fits into your moral standards.  What would happen if I did that in my store? 

customer: I'd like to buy this lingerie
Me:  what are you using it for? Are you married?
Customer: No.
Me: oh well then I can't sell it to you.

Ridiculous right?!  you just don't do that to your customers!

My head of store went into petsmart anyway to buy the fish and they refused to sell the fish.  Surprise!  We had purchased a gift card for the purpose of buying the fish and the store refused to return the gift card.  So we called the corporate offices and turns out that harassing customers is NOT their policy.  They do sell fish for carnivals- especially for a non profit organization.  They really didn't fix anything though.  We still had to go to walmart and buy the fish over there.  Because petsmart is a little too involved in the lives of their customers and some how have the confused idea that goldfish have more rights that humans... I mean why not right? They have what? a 5 second memory...seems logical that an employee would be rude to a customer to protect those rights.  Um actually no it does not.  For a store whose motto is "happiness in store" they sure do a crappy job of making their customers happy.  I will never shop at petsmart!  Worst store ever!!!

Um...My Eyes are Up Here....

I am going to tell y'all about an awkward moment I had yesterday.  Hopefully it doesn't offend anyone reading. 

So sometimes my friend Amanda and I drive up to cottonwood heights to visit a very good friend of ours at her ward.  Yesterday we were sitting by her.  The meeting ended and we were kind of boxed into our row.  Amanda and I were talking and the guy behind us decided to join in...this is how the events played out.

Boy: you girls want to get out?
Me: yes actually.
Boy: Are you hungry?
Me: starving.
Boy: great, what are you making me for dinner?
Me: um...well that would be difficult since I don't have a kitchen up here.
Boy: where do you live?
Me: Pleasant Grove
Boy: oh why are you guys up here?
Me: we are visiting Amy.
Boy: oh well we are having games at his (Amy's boyfriend) house.
Random friend: no we are not, so and so is moving in
boy: we are not having game night.  But you should come to some of these other activities.
Boy: stops talking and stares at my chest. 

At this point I was a little surprised that he wasn't more stealth about it, usually by his age (mid twenties) guys have gotten a little more discreet in these situations.  I looked at Amanda to see if she had seen it too and for sure she had.  We had a conversation via eye contact that said, "did that really just happen?"  which I'm pretty sure he saw because he immediately switched his attention to Amanda and started talking to her. 

I honestly can say that has never happened to me before.  I have talked to several friends about it happening to them but never to me.  And really, to be fair to this guy - I got a sunburn on my chest on Saturday and my dress didn't exactly line up with it.  So I am pretty positive he was looking at my sunburn but why was he so awkward?  I can think of a million ways he could have made that NOT awkward.  Like just say something! "I like your dress"  "are you sunburned?"  anything! anything is better than just leaving someone to wonder what you were looking at.  boys can be so awkward sometimes!

On one condition

Dreams are awesome.  And random.  Last night I had a dream I was driving and a giant seagull landed on the roof of my car.  It could talk of course, because that's totally a normal thing for a bird to do.  For some reason I decided to let the bird ride in my car.  On one condition of course...can you guess what it was?   "I will let you ride right here if you promise not to poop on the seats".  What else would I have asked a seagull.  The best part about this is I hate seagulls.  I have been pooped by two different seagulls in my life and I'm pretty sure they have it out for me.  So basically what I'm saying is I have no idea where a dream like that comes from. 

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Clip In Your Long Hair...

Yes I am still alive.  I know my posts have been few and far between lately...but you can't rush inspiration.  Last year for Halloween I bought hair extensions so I could make my Dorothy costume look more legit.  Then after Halloween, having spent quite a bit of money on them I decided I would just go ahead and use them every once in awhile.  Mostly I add them to my updo's to make my hair look thicker but every now and again I will just curl all my hair and wear it down.  It's kind of fun- My own hair used to be close to the same length as my extensions (middle of my back-ish) but it was never this thick.  Whenever I wear them I usually get a few compliment from women about how pretty my hair looks.  All the while trying not to be offended that it only looks that pretty because it is fake and unnaturally perfect.  Anyway- back to the point of this blog.  Today was one of those days where I just wanted to jazz things up.  My extensions were washed and curled so I clipped them in and went to church.
I sat next to my nephew toward the front of the chapel and in the row in front of me there were 3 guys.  As I am looking at the speaker and listening to announcements I suddenly feel some one's hand on my leg.  I look over and one of the guys in front of me, we will call him Flynn, has turned around and is touching me.  I brushed his hand off and he told me my hair looked good today.  I told him it was fake and he said it didn't matter.  Although he didn't touch me again, Flynn continued to distract me and draw my attention for the remainder of the meeting.  This is not uncommon for Flynn- he tends to be a bit bipolar with me.  One day we are friends and talking, the next he treats me as if I'm not fit to breath the same oxygen as him.  After about 4 years, it's something I've come to expect and deal with pretty well.  To be truthful, he actually is a pretty cool guy when he wants to be and I have a lot of respect for him in many areas.  Anyway- the meeting ended and I went to teach my Sunday school class.  Halfway through the class Flynn came in and actually participated.  Which was great! I love that about my class- everyone talks. 
Class ended and I went to relief society.  But before I made it all the way to the classroom,  I was standing in the hallway talking to a friend of mine and Flynn walks behind me and plays with my hair.  My friend's face was priceless- it basically said, "what the heck?"  Then a few minutes later I was talking to another friend and Flynn came over and started talking to me and pushing me toward the classroom in his own way of being playful.  It was fine- but it was weird.  He usually doesn't even acknowledge my existence let alone talk to me repeatedly in a day.  Then I remembered that he likes long dark hair.  And today, that's what I had.  I've been told that a lot of guys like long hair I just never really understood how much.  I had no idea that $50 and 20 minutes with a curling iron could get a girl so much attention.  It's crazy- the extensions really don't change my appearance very much.  Some people didn't even notice the difference.  But apparently 8-10 inches can change you from a parasite to a princess.  Who knew?

Please Just Stay Home

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt!.  Amen!

There once was a time in my life when I lived and worked in a county full of people with some weird ideas and who take offense at every turn.  You are probably all aware that in retail we dress mannequins.  These mannequins do not change themselves.  The associates in the store periodically have to strip them of one outfit to replace a new and more current outfit.  Just the other day one of the male associates I work with was doing just that.  He was in the women's department updating the visuals in the front of the store when a woman approached him.  She said something along these lines, "I don't think it's appropriate for you to be dressing that mannequin."   Um, uptight much?  He wasn't feeling her up- he was putting clothes on a life size doll.  First of all...the mannequins are not exactly anatomically correct.  Also they are grey tinted plastic.  Oh and also if those first two didn't make it totally appropriate- because maybe you still think somehow they might be mistaken for a real person, um- they have no heads.  I have decided that some people need to get out more OR, better yet,  find hobbies that keep them inside and away from normal people.  If they stay inside they can't say stupid things that make them sound absolutely ridiculous. 

Just When You Think Things Are Quiet

So today I headed over to the salon to do a basic all over color.  My client wanted her extensions colored and I have never colored extensions before.  To make it even better, she is getting married in a week.  I didn't want bride-zilla on my hands so I went to the salon early to ask a co-worker, Melissa, about this color line and how I should formulate for the extensions.  Turns out Melissa's color client had cancelled and she was procrastinating running some errands.  She and I were just sitting at our stations talking about extension and other things when a woman came into the salon.  I had not met her or my client so I at first thought it might be my client.  Turns out she was the woman who lives next door.  she came in to say hello.  We talked to her for a few minutes and then she bent over and was looking at the floor.  Melissa and I both just sort of looked at each other in confusion- she was bent over for a long time.  Then she walked over to another station and opened a color book.  I noticed at this point that she was shaking slightly.  Another few seconds went by- she had opened the 3 ring book and was trying to put the swatches back in but was shaking more and more.  Melissa went over to help but she wouldn't let her.  Melissa told her she should sit down but she refused.  Then Melissa told her it was time to go home and she said no. She couldn't.  At this point Melissa looked at me and I jumped up to call 911.  I had no idea if she was on drugs...wasn't on drugs she should be on...who knew.  All I knew is there was a lady convulsing in my salon where there are scissors, razors, and sharp things and she refused to leave. 
First 911 call...I had no idea how many questions they ask.  After they got my address, which I barely could remember from all the adrenaline pumping through my body, they asked me the woman's name.  Which I couldn't remember at all.  Then they started asking me questions about if she was pregnant? Does she have diabetes?  Um, remember how I told you she lives next door and I just met her 30 seconds ago.  I have no idea if she could be pregnant.  Anyway- about halfway through the call as I'm waiting for the cops to show up she has a full on seizure and crashes to the floor.  She passed out just before the cop arrived.  Then the paramedics showed up.  Our whole salon parking lot was full of emergency vehicles.  As all this was happening my client showed up.  Awesome.  I guess it's a good thing the salon wasn't full of people and that Melissa didn't leave me alone.  I probably would have freaked out had I had to deal with that myself.  The paramedic on his way out was saying, "Now Melissa, next time this happens do this and that".... I was thinking, oh please bless there is NO NEXT TIME!!  ahhh.  My life is full of excitement.