Limbo

I'm going to get slightly personal on this- so if you are looking for a good laugh this probably isn't your post. I really should pick up my journal -that I never use- and write this there, but perhaps someone else is feeling the same way and will relate to this post. maybe not.

Limbo. Defined as, and intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place. That's what my life feels like right now. That is not something I'm used to feeling. I always have a goal I'm working toward. Always. I think, I see, and I achieve. that's who I am. That's who I've always been...until now. Don't get me wrong, its not because I'm not thinking or seeing...I am. Its just that every time I move forward I get yanked back.

To be honest, the one thing I really want to do is get married and start a family. But I can't really do that on my own and I have really no options on my doorstep right now. So, I made secondary plans to get my MBA. But every time I move forward with that decision something gets in my way to slow it down or prevent it from happening altogether. which leads me to believe that right now, maybe that isn't where I am supposed to be.

so where am I supposed to be? Because right now I am doing the same thing, day in and day out. its basically killing me. how? well you see, I can't stand to feel unproductive- so since I'm not "accomplishing" much or working on any long term goals right now- I manage to fill my life so full of other things that I wear myself out physically. Hundreds of little things in a week that are good, some are better, but not all are best for me.

I know where I'd like to be, and what I'd like to be doing. But I also know better than to act on a decision I know isn't right for me. So I'm learning to be patient in all things. I'm learning to trust in the timing of my Heavenly Father. I know he loves me-so I will continue to trust in his plan for me- even if it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.