I'm sorry I can't hear you...

I realized today that over the last month of my life I was being taught a very valuable lesson. A lesson about personal revelation that I think I've always known...but somehow forgot. At one point in the recent past I got the idea in my head to go back to school and start dancing again. Which was something I was really excited about because I love school! I love learning and I LOVE dancing... thus making school the perfect answer. I started school and everything just started falling into place. I passed the auditions for my dance classes and made the back up tour team which was really satisfying to me since I hadn't even attempted to dance in 3 1/2 years. I started attending school and something inside me kept questioning if this was what I needed to be doing. I would pray about the decision I needed to make and several times I decided I was going to drop out of school. Then I would go to team and my technique classes and decide it was way too much fun to walk away from. so I put it off and I kept going to school. I kept thinking how weird it was that I hadn't gotten an answer to my questions. Finally, on the last day to withdraw from class I begrudgingly walked to administration and dropped all my classes. I am pretty sure I pouted all the way home and for several days following. I wondered if I had made the right choice. which was dumb because the choice to quit school had been made. Right or wrong I couldn't change it so I let it go and filled my days with other responsibilities. Several days later I went to Idaho to visit two really amazing people and came to several very important conclusions about my life. We drove to Idaho and Jackson Hole so I had a lot of time just riding in a car...which is one of my very favorite places to think. while traveling I reached several conclusions about myself and where I wanted to be in the future and what I really wanted to accomplish. At one point I realized that this was the first time in over a month I had been able to just sit and think. I was away from my work, family, church, and social responsibilities and I could actually relax and feel the spirit....and boy had I been missing out on a lot of valuable information! The other thing I realized while enjoying my scenic drive was that I had actually already received an answer to my school question. I had received my answer several times...it just wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. I can be pretty stubborn (surprise) and I wanted to be in school. I wanted to dance. I am good at both and just wanted to stay in my comfort zone doing what I love. I didn't want to accept that what I wanted wasn't what I needed. wow...talk about a slap in the face. I didn't recognize my answer because I wasn't willing to do what was asked of me. Amazingly enough, once I figured this out I felt really good about my decisions. I feel at peace with where I am and what I've actually decided to do with my life. I realized that although I don't know exactly how I'm going accomplish some of my goals I have peace in knowing that someday I will. As long as my stubborn will doesn't get in my way again....what did I really learn from this experience? First, that I need to step back every once in awhile from all the important things I'm doing in order to hear the voice of the spirit. Second, that once I hear that voice I need to listen and act. I am so grateful for personal revelation and I am so grateful that my Heavenly father loves me enough to give me time to figure it out.