Et tu, Brute?

Tonight I was talking to a friend- I was telling this friend about some experiences from my not so distant past.  I told this friend a story that involves two other of our mutual friends.  Friend A directly, Friend B, indirectly.  As I was sharing these experiences we both decided that friend B would be hurt beyond measure if they knew what I had done.  In fact, friend B might even kill me for what I have done.  This is why friend B does not know about this experience.  I love this person and I don't want them to be hurt.  But even knowing this...I wouldn't change my actions.  Does that make me a bad person??  My actions didn't really bring any benefit into my life- in fact I would say it brought the opposite.  That choice- once again, made me a pawn in someone else's game.  A thing to be used in order to make them feel better.  And even knowing all this- I still don't think I would change anything.  In my never ending quest to find someone worth believing in- I helped one person boost their confidence while simultaneously secretly hurting another.  I feel a little like Judas.  only my intentions were different.  I wasn't trying to hurt anyone- I just made a choice- a choice for me.  A choice I thought would make me happy.  I suppose everyone involved would have been better off had I put someone else first.  But that's what life is about right?  learning.  Sometimes the lessons are painful- but the lessons have to be learned one way or another.  But did I learn the lesson if I don't feel bad about it?  I would feel awful if Friend B knew, but they don't....and that is all I would feel bad about.  Guess I still have lessons to learn....